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Border Wars a Semi Political Opinion

Updated on July 23, 2011

From what I hear in the news every once in a while, somewhere in the world, there are wars being fought over a border between two countries. Okay, in my opinion, this is a silly reason to shoot someone. Unless that someone tries to make you believe that half of your house is sitting on his country instead of yours, as you previously believed—otherwise, why would you have bought it, rented it, or moved your family in?

A border is just a piece of land. It could be an acre, a foot, or a couple of inches, but in the scheme of things, land is just a place to build a home, start a business, or grow your food. A border is also a man’s way of saying, “Mine”. Do we really need more excuses for men to be possessive? If women could resolve the issue, it would be so civilized. No guns or other weapons needed. Shira would ask Maya, “do you need to build something on this 5 meter piece of land, or can we place a fence here to show where the border is?” and Maya would reply, “can we put a dayspa right about here and move the border over just a smidgen?” and Shira would smile and negotiate a free spa day and voila! Everyone is happy.

But Yousef and Khaled will handle the matter differently. Khaled will insist that Yousef is standing on an inch of sand that was previously decreed to belong to Khaled’s people, and even though nothing can grow on it besides sand fleas, those sand fleas belong to Khaled and Yousef cannot bring his cat on the property for fear the fleas may decide to move to the cat, thereby robbing Khaled of valuable flea property. Khaled will enter into an arms agreement to buy 100 cases of military grade assault bazookas to defend that one inch of sand from being claimed and inhabited by Yousef and his flea-bitten cat.

What is the answer?

And another thing: did the 60’s completely overlook the Middle East? Did no one there ever get mellow? We’re talking serious lack of humor here. I’d pay good money to see one—just one—really good Iraqi comedian. What was like in the 50’s and 60’s in the Middle East that it produced no great comedians or entertainers? Did no one have a blast by taking the chicks out cruising on Friday nights? Did no one ever get blitzed with their best buddies by having one too many brewskis? Then it’s totally understandable why guys are totally bummed out or hacked off all the time. When nothing is copasetic or groovy, it’s hard to find the humor in anything. I get it. It’s hard to get out of a rut or a bad habit when that’s all you’ve ever known. When that’s all your father has ever known. Come on guys, lighten up. Khaled, put down the bazooka and get a massage from Maya. Yousef, meet Shira. Share a spa day. Stop fighting over an imaginary line in the sand.


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    • priyankabd profile image

      priyankabd 6 years ago from dhaka

      really nice

    • bonnebartron profile image

      bonnebartron 6 years ago from never one place for too long

      lol funny! you rant like me!