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Brad The Bachelor ep 5

Updated on May 16, 2012

Written in 2007 during Brad's first turn on The Bachelor....

The host, Chris, needs to fire (or at least kick in the shins) whoever made him wear that hideous shirt at the beginning of the show. It looked like he had a button-up with a vest painted on it, tuxedo t-shirt style! It was yikes.

It made me laugh when they went to “Brad’s house” which is significantly smaller than the mansion the girls are staying in. Not that one person needs a mansion, but the show couldn’t spring for a nice beach condo or something? I wonder if both houses get maid service. Might be worth sending in an application to be on the show…..

This episode was packed with mental patients. Bettina seriously might have something wrong with her. On her date, she went on and on and on about NOTHING! Then, during their serious talk, not only did she speak like she was on the verge of a breakdown but Brad started treating her like it too. She kept saying, “Thanks for being patient with me.” He said “I just want to hug you” like she was the most fragile creature on the planet. This is the same girl who later said “I wanted your hands on me.” Ew! Both of them talked about wanting to be in love with their best friends, but they don’t even talk about anything of substance to get to know each other as friends. She gets on my nerves and the producers are doing a good job of setting her up to be the villain. That makes me nervous that she’ll be around past next week (I’m predicting Jenni, Sheena, and DeAnna in the final 3 anyway).

Hillary—wow. Girl was acting nuts from the get-go. First of all, why are her eyes always red like she’s been crying? Someone please explain this comment she made about Kristy, “If there was a plane on fire, she would be like going down into the freakin’ ocean.” What does that have to do with Kristy being anti-social at the pool party? Then she busts into her perverted dissertation about….well, I don’t think I need to say. Seriously, your words have to be REALLY filthy in order for them to not only bleep you out, but then to blur your mouth. She’s disgusting, and I’m sure her parents are proud.

Hillary’s exit was ridiculous. I think she was really upset because her top was too small. That couldn’t have been comfortable. I’m sure if someone would have just cut her out of that dress, she wouldn’t have hyperventilated. It was really embarrassing that Brad tried to tell her before the ceremony and she just wasn’t hearing it. He, of course, is about as clear as a brick wall. I guess his definition of “shooting straight” is saying “you know” a lot and not really explaining anything. Either way, Hillary should have pushed her internal mute button way before the ceremony and kept it pushed until she got home after elimination.

Sheena, a non-mental patient, is becoming my favorite.  Sure he likes Jenni a lot, but all they do is make out and then she giggles.  I wish they wouldn’t have shown Sheena’s fall down the stairs in the commercials because it would have been way funnier if it was unexpected.  Sheena seems too smart for Brad.  Her poem was actually pretty good—especially compared to some other garbage that has been spouted on this show throughout the seasons.  Brad probably doesn’t even know how to spell “poem.”  Their date was so orchestrated though, I’m pretty sure Brad could have “fallen in love” with anyone in that situation.  I’m sure I’d be ready to marry a troll (like a literal 2-feet tall, wart-covered furball) after a date like that.

Did White House/Black Market sponsor the girls’ dresses for the elimination?


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