ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Brad the Bachelor ep 1

Updated on September 13, 2013

Ain't He Cute?

Brad Womack The Bachelor
Brad Womack The Bachelor | Source

Love At First Sight

Brad Womack and Chris Harrison on the Bachelor
Brad Womack and Chris Harrison on the Bachelor | Source

First Impressions Last Forever

I wrote this in 2007 during Brad Womack's first turn on The Bachelor in season 11....

Here we are again with another season of The Bachelor.  Someday, these clowns will realize that these shows don’t really work for anything but entertaining television.  In the meantime, I will gladly  make fun of each and every episode.

The SEXIEST bachelor ever!  Who on earth declared this?  True or not, it’s a matter of taste.  I didn’t think he was all that good looking in pictures, but on camera he is a rather attractive fella.  I think he’d be smokin’ without the facial hair.  That’s a personal preference though.  At least he’s not short…..I don’t think.

The producers of the show are trying waaaay too hard to play up the sexy.  Why was EVERYONE in the shower?  Is this a soap opera or something?  (Don’t answer that, I realize that it is.)  All of the montages were of the women dancing in bikinis.  What the crap is going on this season?  I guess when you have a bachelor that is too good for college, you make the show into an extended spring break to compensate.

I think the host might have a crush on the bachelor.  That was a very strange conversation they had.  Brad uses the word “genuine” a lot and then the host started using it.  Awkward!  As a side note, he’s a bar owner in Austin which is a pretty big party town.  I’d say he’s probably pretty gross.  At least a few STDs anyway.

Let’s address the stupid things the girls said in the limo or when they first met him.  One of the girls said in the limo that she was “taken aback by his hotness”…..BEFORE she even saw him!  Ok genius, keep practicing your lines.  Natalie looked kind of like Tessa (She got cut though).  She smelled her hands like Mary Catherine Gallagher from Saturday Night Live which always hides how socially awkward you are. 

Early Frontrunner

DeAnna and Brad on The Bachelor
DeAnna and Brad on The Bachelor | Source

DeAnna looks like a front runner, but then again so did whatsherface-Amber from last season.  She immediately pulled out 2 tactics: speaking another language and then making him touch her chest.  The best was when Jade told him he had gorgeous eyes and he replied with “you have a gorgeous name.”  Ummm, that translates to “you’re not hot enough for me.”

Models don’t sing.  Period.

 If you have webbed toes, save that for the second date.  You don’t want to point out that you’re a circus freak right away.  I like to hide my tail until at least the 3rd date….it keeps the spice in the relationship!  Then there’s always the drunk girl who babbles about lord knows what.  This one took the sweetness challenge!  How many times can I say some form of “sweet” in one very long run-on sentence before this guy gets up and walks away from me?  She even used her rebuttal time after she didn’t get a rose to use the word again.  She is the champion of that challenge, even if she did get cut from the show.       

I’m just throwing this out there, but if you cry at the first elimination of a dating show you are a sad, sad human being.  The boys will come ‘a runnin’ to you now that you’ve shown how pathetic and desperate you are on national television!  Good luck fightin’ them off, ladies!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Dana 

      7 years ago

      The only reason I want to see this season is to see how long the girl with the fangs and I am in the first few minutes and he has his first date and has already made out with Ashley. How much spit will be swapped this season? At least the first with Ashley the dentist - clean mouth.

    • Megavitamin profile imageAUTHOR

      Megavitamin 

      7 years ago

      Lydna, thanks for the perspective! Maybe it's another incarnation of men's commitment phobias--can't decide between a beard and a clean shave :0)

    • lmmartin profile image

      lmmartin 

      7 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      I've never watched the show. I admit it. Nor do I think I'm likely to. But looking at the photo of this Brad guy brings a question to mind. What's with all the stubble on guys these days? Is it suddenly considered 'hot' to look like you just finished a debauched weekend with no shower or other bathroom amenities? And such a face would never get anywhere near my skin, any of my skin... Thanks for a fun read. Lynda

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)