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Brad the Bachelor ep 1

Updated on September 13, 2013

Ain't He Cute?

Brad Womack The Bachelor
Brad Womack The Bachelor | Source

Love At First Sight

Brad Womack and Chris Harrison on the Bachelor
Brad Womack and Chris Harrison on the Bachelor | Source

First Impressions Last Forever

I wrote this in 2007 during Brad Womack's first turn on The Bachelor in season 11....

Here we are again with another season of The Bachelor.  Someday, these clowns will realize that these shows don’t really work for anything but entertaining television.  In the meantime, I will gladly  make fun of each and every episode.

The SEXIEST bachelor ever!  Who on earth declared this?  True or not, it’s a matter of taste.  I didn’t think he was all that good looking in pictures, but on camera he is a rather attractive fella.  I think he’d be smokin’ without the facial hair.  That’s a personal preference though.  At least he’s not short…..I don’t think.

The producers of the show are trying waaaay too hard to play up the sexy.  Why was EVERYONE in the shower?  Is this a soap opera or something?  (Don’t answer that, I realize that it is.)  All of the montages were of the women dancing in bikinis.  What the crap is going on this season?  I guess when you have a bachelor that is too good for college, you make the show into an extended spring break to compensate.

I think the host might have a crush on the bachelor.  That was a very strange conversation they had.  Brad uses the word “genuine” a lot and then the host started using it.  Awkward!  As a side note, he’s a bar owner in Austin which is a pretty big party town.  I’d say he’s probably pretty gross.  At least a few STDs anyway.

Let’s address the stupid things the girls said in the limo or when they first met him.  One of the girls said in the limo that she was “taken aback by his hotness”…..BEFORE she even saw him!  Ok genius, keep practicing your lines.  Natalie looked kind of like Tessa (She got cut though).  She smelled her hands like Mary Catherine Gallagher from Saturday Night Live which always hides how socially awkward you are. 

Early Frontrunner

DeAnna and Brad on The Bachelor
DeAnna and Brad on The Bachelor | Source

DeAnna looks like a front runner, but then again so did whatsherface-Amber from last season.  She immediately pulled out 2 tactics: speaking another language and then making him touch her chest.  The best was when Jade told him he had gorgeous eyes and he replied with “you have a gorgeous name.”  Ummm, that translates to “you’re not hot enough for me.”

Models don’t sing.  Period.

 If you have webbed toes, save that for the second date.  You don’t want to point out that you’re a circus freak right away.  I like to hide my tail until at least the 3rd date….it keeps the spice in the relationship!  Then there’s always the drunk girl who babbles about lord knows what.  This one took the sweetness challenge!  How many times can I say some form of “sweet” in one very long run-on sentence before this guy gets up and walks away from me?  She even used her rebuttal time after she didn’t get a rose to use the word again.  She is the champion of that challenge, even if she did get cut from the show.       

I’m just throwing this out there, but if you cry at the first elimination of a dating show you are a sad, sad human being.  The boys will come ‘a runnin’ to you now that you’ve shown how pathetic and desperate you are on national television!  Good luck fightin’ them off, ladies!


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      The only reason I want to see this season is to see how long the girl with the fangs and I am in the first few minutes and he has his first date and has already made out with Ashley. How much spit will be swapped this season? At least the first with Ashley the dentist - clean mouth.

    • Megavitamin profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Lydna, thanks for the perspective! Maybe it's another incarnation of men's commitment phobias--can't decide between a beard and a clean shave :0)

    • lmmartin profile image


      7 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      I've never watched the show. I admit it. Nor do I think I'm likely to. But looking at the photo of this Brad guy brings a question to mind. What's with all the stubble on guys these days? Is it suddenly considered 'hot' to look like you just finished a debauched weekend with no shower or other bathroom amenities? And such a face would never get anywhere near my skin, any of my skin... Thanks for a fun read. Lynda


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