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Cat Diet? Fat Chance.

Updated on March 15, 2011

Cat free diet...FAT chance.


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"Jumping jee-hose-a-phat!!"
look at that
my calico cat
he's a chubby chap,
this cat's so fat
there is no lap
that could adapt
without mishap,
to all his blubber
around him wrapped,
he'd spill right over

He makes the wife
of Ol' Jack Sprat
look like a teeny,
tiny gnat
three loving pats
on this cat's back,
could take three hours
that's a fact.

If he jumps high
from where he's at
he makes the boulevards
all cracked,
when he meoows
for daily snacks,
I fill two tubs
with Crackerjacks,
30 lbs of cheese
24 big macs,
and 35 unwrapped
He's such a walking
heart attack,
a cardiac kit
with cataracts,
to brush his fur
I must bring home,
a giant whale bone
his grooming takes
3 days exact,
to get his matted
furballs flat,
and if he moves
from where he's sat,
he leaves a
very large impact.
My house looks like
a moon that's half-
-filled up with craters
still intact.
To take him to
the vets and back
requires eight long
Then we attract
the largest crowds,
to watch us map
our way cross town,
right through the pack
then back around
till we are home
both safe and sound,
with weary bones
and fleas un-bound.
One benefit
to massives cats
at my house
there's never a rat,
for miles and miles
no mice,
my nieghbors think
my fat cat's nice,
his name of course
I've left for last,
I took it from
a band long past,
one vocalist a stocky lass,
to honor her
He's "Pappa Cass."

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