Celebrity Diet Tricks: Do They Work or Are They Just a Fad?

It's the new year again! All the turkey trimmings along with the Christmas tree and the sparkly baubles are last years news (the turkey never made it to trimmings in my house but then again it never does). Over indulgence has left it's mark; mainly on our waist lines. While our favourite celebs don their holiday bikinis and prance about the beach in all their skinny glory, we hide under our jumpers and plan our new year diet, yet again...

Diet, weight loss, counting calories, lose your mummy tummy or daddy belly, hell lose 'em both. That is the priority for the coming months. Yes! get the beach body you always wanted. Countless diet tips aimed at us mere mortals are already invading our living rooms. Wonderful celebrities that can lose stones in a week, get skinny arms by the weekend, have thighs like barbie and bare twins in 3 months (forget the twin bit) bounce onto our screens, leap from the paper and beam from glossy magazines.

Follow this celeb diet. Jog like Jen. Yoga like Gwyn. Do the birdie (eat like a bird) like Vb aka Mrs Beckham olden days aka Posh Spice older days aka Miss Adams older older days... oh! forget it, if you don't know who I'm talking about see the skinny bird in the picture. The one with the caption, Mrs Beckham, who apparently lives on a diet of lettuce, strawberries and edamame soya beans. Yummy! I wouldn't smile either if that's all I could eat.

These great celebrity diets promise you will look just like they do. If you stick to the diet, of course. You really want to go there? The choice my friend is yours. First up on the celeb menu...

• The Cabbage Soup Diet: Make bowls of cabbage soup, or ask your chef nicely and eat/drink it for seven days. Low in calories and high in the gas department. Give your cleaner the week off! or at least clean your own loo. A fave of Sarah Michelle Gellar. I bet Scooby Doo doesn't do it.
• The Raw Food Diet: I panicked at this one. We all know the results of eating raw chicken. I can't say relief set in when I realized it meant raw as in fruit, seeds and vegetables. Good job I like carpaccio. It seems so does Demi Moore. Although Lady Gaga has issues.
• The Grapefruit Diet: I could manage this one. The rule is you eat half a grapefruit before every meal. Grapefruit has fat busting qualities. Heck! I can eat a whole one then. The down side on this diet, is the limited 800 calories per day. At that rate I'll only need half a grapefruit. I'll share the other half with Kylie.
• The Facial Analysis Diet: An analyst, analyses your skin, hair and eye texture. Somehow they can then tell, what you need to eat to lose weight. It's all vegetables to me. Titanic star Kate Winslet favors this one. Guess that's why she didn't sink.
• The Purple Food Diet: Easy. Eat everything purple. No, artificial colouring is not allowed. Where's your will power? Mariah Carey likes this one. Those blushing cheeks and her face always glows too.

Follow Sarah Jessica Parker's eating plan with The South Beach Diet and get the beach body you've always dreamed of...

• Phase one. The really, really, really strict bit. For two whole weeks you can't eat any of the foods listed in any shape or form

a) bread or any baked products (not even half baked)

b) rice or anything that looks, smells or feels like rice

c) pasta; even the skinny stuff and that includes anything from a tin

d) fruit or anything that grows on trees

e) sugar of any sort and any colour

f) potatoes and everything that's made from potatoes and that includes french fries and crisps (for heaven sake, I'll just kill myself now)

• Phase two. At this stage you can gradually add grains and fruit to your daily regime. If you're still alive that is.
• Phase three. You get to this stage when you reach your ideal weight ie) the weight you wish to be (twig-let anyone?). You eat like this for the rest of your miserable life. If you don't, you get fat! If you get fat, go to phase one and stay there forever.

Madonna is surely the queen of fitness. Her exercise regime is also pretty up their on a scale of one to scary. However, that gal don't preach. If you want to look like Madonna you might want to start with the macrobiotic diet..or not...

Whole grains, beans, vegetables and a little meat and fish can grace your plate. The next thing you need is a pro like Tracey Anderson. Madonna's guru will whip you into shape. But, by all means hit the gym yourself six days a week for two hours, and twice on Sunday.

According to Tracey. Source: The Guardian.

''Alcohol slows your metabolism for 3 days after you drink.''

I have a solution to this problem. Don't stop drinking!

• The Ice Cube Diet

You suck on ice cubes to satisfy your hunger pangs. I guess it beats sucking on eggs although only marginally.

Note: didn't notice a ban on gin! Gin soaked ice cubes: I'll be skinner than a twig-let in no time.

• The Cookie Diet

I have absolutely nothing to add to this statement, apart from the fact that I never realized The Cookie Monster was such a worldly superstar or dieted for that matter.

Note: I have observed rather quickly for very obvious reasons, this diet does not and never will work.

• The Baby Food Diet

Eat two portions of pureed food and one adult meal every day. Er ok sure, can my adult meal be a Big Mac and chips? Alright a small Mac and chips?

Note: I hated pureed food the first time round, so I won't be doing this one. Honestly you celebs seriously need to grow up.

• The Tea Cleanse Diet

This is definitely a diet for the Brits, they love their tea so drinking tea for 7 days will be a walk in the park. Maybe you should add the cookie diet to this one and hey presto you'll still be fat in 7 days so you can keep drinking tea.

Note: the jury is out on whether or not you can possibly call this a tea cleanse oh! and milk and sugar not included aaahh!

It appears that dining out for celebrities is a bit of a do. Many of them opting for still water and half a salad, and that's between two. No wonder Katie Holmes looks a bit peaky. She needs to drop her mate Posh.

Personally I think it's bloody outrageous that the salad and water brigade constantly hog the best seats in good restaurants. Why bother eating out when you don't even eat. The last time I asked for a glass of tap water I was introduced to the kitchen sink. If I even thought about ordering half a salad, I'd be shown the door, the backdoor! Give me a break...

Author's Note

It's important that we take a solid interest in our health and our families health. It's important to exercise, eat well and be comfortable with our bodies. Yes! sometimes we need to eat a little less. Leave the chocs on the side. Buy some naturally low calorie foods and get out for a walk.

Fab or fad? I guess it's down to the individual. Being very honest, I personally find a little of everything that's bad for you and a lot of everything that's good for you with a little daily exercise thrown in works wonders. Doubt I'll be following any of these diets any time soon.

Find time for your body, it's the only one you got. Don't blame your busy life, after all you only need 20 to 30 mins a day to exercise. Start climbing the stairs; otherwise join the celebrity nutters; buy a bag of bird seed and dump the bread maker.