Court TV's woman of wonder
If you value your life-put down the remote...
Not sure I should use her actual name, but she has her own show on Court TV, and she is judgmental, condescending, angry, and bitter. I don't care how 'educated' she is, as she constantly reminds her viewers, she sounds like a raving lunatic, and treats everyone that doesn’t agree with, or comply, to her ideals, opinions, or beliefs, as though they are the biggest douche bag on the planet, and are not even worthy of breathing the same air as her. This includes her ‘esteemed colleagues’ and or panel of 'guests,' and anyone else that has the unfortunate 'pleasure' of appearing on her show. They believe they are invited onto a show to share their expertise, and insight, when in fact, they are merely faces in boxes, that will be seen momentarily, and may be allowed or permitted to speak, or utter a few phrases, before she cuts them off to tell them what how ignorant or incompetent they are, which according to her, is why she is so much more successful than they are, and why they will never amount to anything. She rants and raves about how she is the perfect mother to perfect children, which in her humble opinion is why, neither she, nor they, can do 'no wrong'.
Typically, on these programs, people are invited to represent an opposing opinion, contrary to that of the host, at which point, several people calmly begin to discuss and debate amongst themselves the topic or case at hand, Diverse, insightful, educational, I get it, sounds intriguing…which is why I tuned in. Only from the moment I tuned in, the moment the lights go on, and the cameras tune in, she is yelling, screaming, and ranting, at the people that call in to her show, guests of her show, staff….camera guys…grips…hell, I don’t know how she ever managed to get a man in bed, let alone get him to marry her, to have those flipping perfect babies of hers. I’d say I feel sorry for her husband, but screw him, he is a grown ass man, and he knew what he was in for or getting himself into, the poor son of a bitch. The ones I feel sorry for are those poor kids of hers, they have to grow up with her as their mother. Don't get me wrong, she probably loves those two babies of hers to death, but God forbid, if they should do anything, or say anything, contrary to what she says, thinks, feels, believes, or wants...for I have witnessed what she does, and how she talks to her ‘esteemed’ colleagues, guests, and crew, and…pretty much anyone, that disagrees with her, her opinions, and or ideals. I can't imagine what's going to happen, if, or when, they go through their 'rebellious phase.' Every time I hear her speak of her twins, I envision the wire hanger scene from Mommie Dearest.
This woman seems to have no respect, or regard for anyone. If you have an idea or opinion, she will give it to you, otherwise, unless you are telling her exactly what she wants to hear, you may as well not even exist. The only people she seems to have any regard or respect for (besides herself) are her children, who are unable to argue, disagree, or have opinions of their own (yet), and of course, her numerous, faithful, adoring, fans…whom of course, worship and adore her, and likely believe as she does, the she is everything. Yes, the woman whose opinion is the only opinion that matters, has fans, thousands of them, because evidently, the freakishly loud and brilliant attorney, and mother of twins, is an author as well. Is there nothing this perfect bitch can’t do?
Yes, Pam, from Oklahoma, she will allow you to speak, when you call in to tell her how much you loved her latest book or what a wonderful mother and woman you think she is. Yes you, Margareta, from Louisiana, you too will be allowed to speak, not because you have insight to offer or something astute to say, but because you read her latest masterpiece of literature and you just loved it. However, as a ‘guest’ of her show, that is there with the express purpose of speaking, you will be lucky if she does not unhinge her jaw, swallow you whole, and digest you with the acid that flows through her intestinal track. The sad part is, I tuned in to see her because I kept seeing the Joel McHale mock, ridicule, and poke fun of her, and I figured he was just exaggerating and hating on her because she is a strong, educated, successful, and intelligent, woman. Only to discover he was not exaggerating, in fact, I think he downplayed it.
She loves to hear herself speak, so I get why she has her own show. I bet she was a hell of a lawyer, because no one is ever going to be as smart, or as good as her, at anything. I am sure she is in fact, very knowledgeable, and I could probably learn a lot from watching her show, but I can’t bear to listen to her voice, or watch her demean, and patronize, her guests, without worrying and fearing they may do harm to themselves, after she berates, belittles, and badgers, them on national television. For some reason I believe she is a better author-even though I have never read anything she has written. After all, how bad could it be? At least I will not have to hear her speak. She may be strong, opinionated, educated, intelligent, successful, and wealthy, and know everything there is to know, about everything, and everyone, but I don’t care. In my home, in my world, I am smarter, stronger, and more knowledgeable, and I am the one with all the power, because I hold the remote control. Rant over.