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DC vs Marvel. The Dark Knight Rises vs The Avengers.
The ultimate nerd debate...
I get that everyones pumped up about the Avengers. It’s what everyone loves about Super Hero movies. Its corny, cheesy, charming, and predictable.
It leaves 8 year old kids running around in costumes, and allows adults to suspend their adult reality for an hour or two.
And that’s cute.
Marvel can have fun with that.
But what [Dark Knight Trilogy Director] Christopher Nolan did with Batman far exceeds anything [Avengers Director] Joss Whedon has ever done. He took a character with an equally cheesy history (we remember the tights and catch-phrases), and transformed an iconic super hero movie into a real trilogy.
Comparing The Avengers and DKR is like comparing Transformers to Pulp Fiction. Transformers is so much fun and you’re going to make a lot of money, but Pulp Fiction is a movie with a spine and you better get a sitter.
I mean, honestly… can you really compare the two? When it Marvels history and DC’s cinematic history, its not even close.
The Punisher movies, which have been “re-booted” three times and never get off the ground, the incredibly corny Tobey Macguire Spidermans, and don't forget the horribly cheesy Fantastic four movies, highlighted only by the waning beauty of Jessica Alba, ya know, when she wasn’t turning invisible.
The first X-men was pretty good, and then the two following sequels were not only inaccurate but hard to watch. Only worse were the contradictory spin offs, X-Men Origins: Wolverine and First Class, which everyone agreed were inaccurate and stupid.
And then there's the casting.
Do we really need to bring Nic Cages eyebrows into this? Because other than being known as the “Nickleback” of actors, he doesn’t really match up to say, Christian Bale?
But no, its cool we’ll just put a bunch of so-so actors into one CGI machine and see what we can churn out, that’ll show em! We’ve got Robert Downey Jr, who can’t play anything other than the sarcastic jackass that we all know and love, Mark Ruffalo, who… is Mark Ruffalo, Samuel Jackson, who would probably sign up for Batman (If they were that desperate), and the mildly talented Chris Evans. That’s fantastic, the movie relied on special effects and quirky one liners so bad, I’m surprised it wasn’t directed by Michael Bay.
You can seriously overwhelm the casting talent of Marvel with Batman Villains. Don’t believe me?
You've got superstars like Hugh Jackman, Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr, Nicolas Cage, Mark Ruffalo, Jessica Alba, Tobey Macguire, Samuel Jackson, Ben Affleck, Ian McKellen, and Scarjo.
And in the Batman movies? You've got Christopher Walken, Jack Nicholson, Aaron Eckhart, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, Heath Ledger, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Tom Hardy, Liam Neeson, Anne Hathaway, Danny DeVito, and this is without mentioning Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Michael Cane, George Clooney (despite an awful performance, is still better than Nic Cage) , Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Gary Oldman, Katie Holmes, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Billy Dee Williams, and so many more and may I remind you that these are only the actors involved in Batman movies?
So the stars of Superman Returns, including Kevin Spacey and Brandon Routh count. I’d mention the Green Lantern, but seeing as Ryan Reynolds also played Deadpool, we’ll call him a scratch.
But I’ll gladly take Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender, and Megan Fox from Jonah Hex, and whatever weirdos were in the Watchmen.
We also have The Losers, so whoops, there goes Chris Evans, and adds the always sexy Zoe Saldana, Add V for Vendetta, so we’ll split Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving (Thor and Captain America), add A History of Violence, with Viggo Mortensen and Ed Harris.
Whoops. My B, we also have the Spirit, so you can add Eva Mendes and take away Scarjo and Sammy J.
But the killer? The real icing on the cake?
Since 1951, DC movies have been nominated for 19 oscars, winning 3.
Now, we all love a box office hit, but considering Twilight and Transformers are among the names we consider “blockbusters” we know that quality has little to do with theatre success. How many Oscars have Marvel Movies won in 70 years?
Zero. Nada boys and girls. Never even nominated, never even nominated for a special effects award.
So you can take your Transformersesque Avengers with your Buffy the Vampire Slayer director, and enjoy your brief moment of success, the first ever, and uh…
Wait for the Dark Knight Rises to come out on DVD and Blu Ray on December 4th.