Daily Weird #35 Beans with a side of Frog

Here’s how the story goes. It was Sunday morning; Priscilla Owens was in her kitchen opening a can of green beans. All was peaceful and wonderful and beautiful with the world, until the lid came off and she found herself staring at green beans surrounding a green frog. It was a fight to the death, with the green beans winning.

While most of us would have been excited, Priscilla, apparently was not. She took the can back to the grocery store, where the manager offered to trade her even-steven for a can of green beans less likely to be containing a reptile. There was, however, a 50/50 shot that it might contain a zebra.

Priscilla was very unhappy with that. What if she opened another can of green beans, and yet ANOTHER frog was waiting for her (instead of the hoped for, zebra). Shudder. This was traumatic beyond belief for Priscilla and the only answer was for the company canning these frogs to remove the entire frog-bean batch out of the vegetable isle and put them into the toy section.

Priscilla was not alone in her vegetable frog finding experience, a Michigan woman and a Texas woman have both recently found frogs, or parts of frogs, among their frozen vegetables. One frog had his tongue sticking out as if to say, "Please, I just want a bean." The woman in Texas, while a bit grossed out, had the presence of mind to get a little ripped over the fact her frog was missing its legs.

While the two above-mentioned women haven’t seemed to suffer any lasting damage, Priscilla’s sons both are quite traumatized. According to Owens, both of her sons have stated that they aren’t sure if they’ll ever be able to eat green beans again. Seriously. How sad is that. Can you imagine two children who don’t want to eat green beans. Wow! I need a tissue...and a pair of wading boots.

Just an observation on my part; but what kind of woman gets up Sunday morning and cooks green beans? Bacon? Sure. Eggs, toast, ham, maybe even a lasagna. But green beans? That’s traumatizing!

It takes me well into the afternoon before I can look a vegetable in the eye. Assuming they had an eye. Which they, of course, they don’t. The critters canned and frozen with them have eyes, but I don't think that counts.

Congratulations are in order for Owens’ sons, however, who have capitalized quite nicely on the "OMG there's a frog in my beans" ordeal. It’s kind of sad, though, I think I heard their mom say something about only cooking spinach in the morning from here on out…