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Daily Weird #41 More Poo For You

Updated on April 23, 2011
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A home is not a home unless it's filled with poop!

If you can’t seem to get enough “poo” in your life, no matter how hard you strain… this weird is for you!

Poo is the new fad. Everywhere I turn people are selling their poop. If you’re not sure what to get your sweetheart, wife, best friend or most ferocious enemy… poo is something you may want to consider. 

There is a website (all links at the bottom of the page) that will help you with finding just the right gift for the person who has everything.

You can choose from Cow Dung, Elephant Crap, or for those hard core poo lovers, grab some Gorilla Poop. With your gift of poo, you receive a free card. On one side it says, “You’ve been pooped on, do you want to know by whom?”

The other side says, “We’ll never tell.”

That’s right, these people protect your anonymity. They are ethical poop senders, they never, ever, poop and tell.

If that seems a bit much, you can go to a different web site and buy fake poop to send your loved ones, or middle school principal. (I personally believe if you’re going to buy a gift it shouldn’t be a cheap knockoff of the real thing- but fake stuff can be cool too. )

THere is a “greeting cards” section where you can upload photos you have of poop (who doesn’t have those? ) and make your very own “Poop Greeting Card”.

This is a great gift idea for sick relatives who are feeling like crap. I’ve heard these cards are an awesome aid to those needing to regain their health. I haven’t been able to find a perfume that captures the “poo smell” yet, but I’m told dipping the card into a cat’s litter box is a real winner. I highly recommend putting in the extra effort.

Still not for you? That’s ok, there’s more than enough crap to go around. There is a webpage for poop connoisseurs of all ages.

It’s a newsletter that keeps you up to date on the latest poop stories. If you really, really, really love to immerse yourself in doo-doo, this is a place you will find yourself wallowing about for hours at a time!

Just to give you an idea, here are a few of their main stories:

Stories About Poop ,

Intellectual Crap,

Fun with Feces

and Poop at the Office.

I really can’t make this stuff up, but apparently other people can… and do. I believe Fun with Feces is a 1,000 word essay on how to properly play with your excrement. This is important stuff for the turd-minded individual.

If you should decide to send me some poop, please make sure to send it to my P.O. box. I’ve heard the smell wafts around the package, and I’d love for the people at the post office to have the opportunity to enjoy my crap.

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    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Realho- I thought Syd did an excellent job as commentator! Did you see Chelsea's hotdog video? "The most average hot dog you'll ever find."

      I can just imagine the video she and Syd would make if they ever got together! OMG!!

      LOL! I love it when kids are creative!!!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Sue! Poppit! I picked the girls up from school and told Syd you checked out the video and omg! She said, " I can't believe I let them post that! I'd say something worse but little Sydney (7 year old neighbor) is in the car!" after I dropped the little girl off I asked what it was she would have said, she looked at me red faced and smiling and said, "I'm so damned embarrassed!"

      Lol! I told her it was funny too!

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris- A boyfriend with teeth, yes, I'll give you that one. It will be a difficult endeavor for sure. On the other hand, we won't have to worry about any of her boyfriends wearing a Mankini!

      Oh, don't forget Larry's other brother, Darryl. He's the black sheep of the family. No, seriously, he's a black sheep. He's a darn good worker though!

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 

      7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      Bubba was up for providing his own poo, but he kept on about setting it on fire. I had a strange feeling that this would go way sideways in a hurry, so Larry was the better choice. His other brother, Larry, will do the deed on the days when his brother is indisposed (I thought that was a nicer word than 'in the drunk tank'.)

      Honestly, you need to get on out of there, I mean, you want Chelsea to have boyfriends with teeth, don't you?

      C

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris- that darned Larry'll do anything for a 6-pack! I just paid Larry a 6-pack to clean the cat poo out of my yard. I asked him where he planned on throwing it away, and he told me not to worry, he had it covered.

      That Larry's a sneaky little dude!

      The joke's on you, though, Bubba would have done it for a 48 oz!

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 

      7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      Sue,

      I was online at 'send-your-friend-some-poo.com' selecting their choice materials to mail to you, when I suddenly was overcome with guilt fot the poor postal delivery person, so that, and the fact that my credit card was rejected (Interesting message, "can't pay for our shit with a card worth shit")

      So...

      Went for plan B.

      One of your neigbors, Larry, I think he called himself, will be coming by once a week to fling cat poo at your home. Only cost me a six pack!

      Awesome town you live in...

      C

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Realho- No, there's nothing bad there... they're just being silly!!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      No one is going to call DFS (division of family services) on me are they? Gulp! I told them to show it to me today and they acted a little funny about it!

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Realho- go watch. They're too funny!!!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      I must have not seen that one! Those girls! I'm scared to watch now:)! Lol!

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Chris- what? You thought that middle school principal thing was referring to you? Really?

      OK, it totally was. How cool would that have been in school, really, if you could just "order out" a poo-gram for your principal?

      Very cool

      What are friends for if not to poke fun. I'm looking forward to the crap in my mailbox. You know how I love shit.

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 

      7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      Wait just a minute here...

      I turn around to watch a little wedding on the TV and miss this one...complete with Middle School Principal diss...

      How could you?

      We spend our days up to our necks, and sometimes higher, in shit, and you want to send more?

      I'm sending you the smelliest one they have, and if they have a poop of the month club, I'm joining...

      You're welcome.

      Friend, ha!

      C

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Realho- It was the stretching video. Sydney cracked me up... she's an awesome commentator!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Oh no! What video was it? Cheese and rice they didn't tell me about it:) Rolf! Is it the attractive Maddy Segment? Or perhaps the girl who dated a bird? Lol! I can't help it - their videos are hilarious! It does prove that some of the crap is rubbing off! Haha!

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Realho- lol! I'm full of it too, we make a great pair of crappy hubbers. I just saw the video your kids made, it's a lot like the video my kid made. Apparently, being full of it is genetic! LOL!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Oh I wouldnt dare try to deny that! I am REAL afterall:)!

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Realho-Thanks, but I think you're full of it!

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Fullofhumor-Four lines. Four crappy innuendos. Impressive. :)

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      You're hilarious sue - and that's no poo:)!

    • attemptedhumour profile image

      attemptedhumour 

      7 years ago from Australia

      Can you send me your business card please, so i can plop by in the morning? I've heard you can make piles out of last night's supper. There's nothing funnier than a crap hub. Cheers from the arse end of the world.

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Drbj- I love the name. Can I franchise?

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      7 years ago from south Florida

      And to think, sue, that for all these years I have been blithely flushing toilets in the bathroom when I could have been profiting from doo doo. Who knew knew?

      I have turned a new leaf, never again will I nap,

      Instead of flushing, I will now sell all that crap!

      What do you think of Poop-Poop-A-Doop as the new name of my poopy website?

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Mentalist- so, what your saying is, this hub stinks. It's not the first time honey! It probably won't be the last.

      Maybe I should hand out free nose plugs with every hub.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 

      7 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      My Hubs might have the smell of what one spreads thick,but this Hub really spreads the humble scent of excreted fortitude of nature's gifts.;)

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