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Demi Lovato Unfollows Selena Gomez on Twitter - Shockingly Stupid News Events

Updated on August 15, 2014
Well, they're clearly fighting about something. That means big news. Someone clearly cares about what is going on here. I don't even know who these people are. Of course, I'm a dumb hermit. Still! This is news??!
Well, they're clearly fighting about something. That means big news. Someone clearly cares about what is going on here. I don't even know who these people are. Of course, I'm a dumb hermit. Still! This is news??!

Big Time News Right Here Guys

What's happening in the world today? Hunger? Starvation? Violence? Political unrest? Forget all that stuff. Stop the presses, people. Demi Lovato unfollowed Selena Gomez on Twitter. That's what's important in the world right now. Get with the program.

The dirty laundry was aired on some show called "Watch What Happens Next" - and I have no idea what that is, because I'm a hermit.

Apparently, these two people have been friends a long, long time. When asked why they are no longer friends on Twitter, Demi said "I plead the sixth." Um, that's the fifth, Demi. Who the heck is Demi Lovato, anyway? I'm guessing you actually know who these people are if you're reading this. All I get from this story is: "Two high school girls act like high school girls."

Well, basically it seems they've grown apart. Digging deeper into the story (I know, right...), I discovered that Lovato posted a (since deleted) picture that said "Swimming away from all your b*******. Goodbye, b***." How quaint. These celebrities are such well mannered, composed people, eh?

Here's the Video Where Lovato Discusses This Very Delicate and Newsworthy Situation

If everyone did this with their stupid cell phones, we wouldn't have silly news like this. Well, probably. 10 bucks says these two girls were arguing via cellphone and then unfriended each other.
If everyone did this with their stupid cell phones, we wouldn't have silly news like this. Well, probably. 10 bucks says these two girls were arguing via cellphone and then unfriended each other.

Who... Who Are These People? Am I Just Old? Probably.

Do I have any idea who Selena Gomez really is? Not really. Disney Channel or something, right? Do I know who Demi Lovato really is? No, I don't. If you think you do, then you have what doctors might call mental problems. Everyone thinks they know celebrities.

I'll tell you how this whole fiasco happened. People use their cellphones too much. If you spend like 70 days in a submarine with other people, you go nuts and start fighting with them. Being connected to all your friends 24 hours per day via cellphone is pretty similar. Eventually, you'll start fighting with them. I'll bet these girls would have stayed friends for a long time if they hadn't been mind linked 24 hours per day via technology. The world is going nuts because of this stuff. That's why I'm a creepy old hermit who lives in the woods. Okay, maybe not, but I don't follow this entertainment nonsense news for a reason.

So I ask again, why is this even news? I mean it's plastered all over my Google News. This is apparently what is important in the world: What two random, barely adult Disney stars think of each other. How exciting.

Do you find this story fascinating? Are you an adult? I think you have too much free time. You know, there are like... things going on in the world other than two immature girls fighting with each other. They'll be friends again eventually.
Do you find this story fascinating? Are you an adult? I think you have too much free time. You know, there are like... things going on in the world other than two immature girls fighting with each other. They'll be friends again eventually.

Are You an Adult Who Cares About This?

What I really want to know is, are adults actually interested in news like this? You can get the same crap just by talking to teenage high school girls at dinner time. In other words, your brain dead daughter. But does anyone really want to hear about some random high school girl's friendship woes? Not really. So why do news outlets pick up this kind of news? How does it become plastered all over my Google News? I guess they just really don't realize how immature all this is. The fact that the world actually finds this interesting is... shocking. No wonder the world stinks so badly.

The real question here is: Who on Earth cares about this stupid news? This story about Lovato and Gomez falling apart on Twitter might as well be about a buffalo having diarrhea at the zoo. It's just as interesting, and almost just as expected.

No more stupid news, please! I have more exciting things to do than read this stuff - like going to the county hospital and waiting 16 hours in the emergency room for help with my hang nail. Man, after reading news like this, you start to feel guilty about not cleaning your house or mowing the lawn enough. Maybe that's why they print this stuff? Who knows.


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© 2014 Luke

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