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Diet is a Four Letter Word

Updated on April 22, 2011
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I started a diet the other day. I was eating healthy, I was exercising, and I was feeling, in general, really good about myself.

It’s that second half-hour that started to kill me. I’m sure it’s a psychological thing, but I could swear the chocolate ice-cream was calling my name. Loudly. Often. Loudly…that bears mentioning again. I ignored it, of course. I could make it through the day. One day at a time, right? “I have the will power!” I reminded myself as I opened the freezer door, and the carton of ice cream. I know what you’re thinking, but I just smelled it while telling it to pipe down. There's nothing wrong with that.

Then I stepped on the scale. WHAT? How can a person gain 2 pounds from sniffing ice-cream?!!!

I calmed myself down and reminded myself of the outfits in my closet that I was sure I could get into if only I could stick this out. They’re really cute outfits. I went to look at them again. Yep, they were as cute as I remembered. Perhaps a little smaller, though. It was then I realized I might have to diet for more than 2 days.

This was getting depressing. Of course, the best thing for depression is chocolate. Any fool knows that. I knew where some was. It was calling me earlier, remember? “No!” I told myself. I’ll just go exercise. That’s also good for depression.

Ok. So, 10 minutes later I’m lying on the floor panting. This exercise thing is for the birds. Now I’m hungry. Hmmm. Chocolate’s good for that too.

“NO! I can do this!” I shouted out loud, to no one but myself. (My family had hit the road as soon as I mentioned the word “diet”. They’re not stupid. They know why it’s a four letter word.)

“YES, you can do this,” came a reply from my freezer.

A few hours later, my family returned to find me sitting crossed-legged on the kitchen floor with a messy face and an empty tub of chocolate ice-cream on my lap. “I saved us!” I yelled.

I wasn’t any thinner, and my pretty clothes weren’t any larger, but I had defeated the talking ice-cream. 

I’m also pretty sure I burned off quite a few calories getting rid of the cold, mean, chocolate threat. After all, who knows what havoc a talking ice-cream tub could cause? First they talk, and then they steal. My family should have thanked me for ridding our house of such a menace. Can you believe there were no thank you’s? There was no “atta-girl”, or “way-to go mom”. Nope, apparently I was the only one who truly appreciated the threat.

All I can say, is it’s a good thing I was there.

My “diet” may have suffered a bit, but it was worth it for my family! I’ve decided to put my diet on hold for a few weeks (or months). All that “protecting the family” stuff stressed me out. A stressed out mom is no good to anyone. Of course, everyone knows the best thing for stress is chocolate.

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    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Jean- It's so cool that you're studying with your husband, that must be a world of fun!

      I was at your hub a few weeks ago.. it's a fantastic article!!

      Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!!

    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 

      7 years ago from New Jersey

      Hi SueRoy,

      I am so happy you are enjoying my hubs that try to make sense of the Metaphysical topics I'm taking with my husband, Louie. We took Astrology courses together long ago when we were dating, and have always been interested in occult things. They are not evil like some uninformed people think. The Hermetic Laws are tough and it's great Louie attends class, so I always have him to talk about what we learn. We are looking forward to the next one, it starts in 2 weeks, and reincarnation and karma are on the agenda, so what better time to get thinking about it? If you are trying to diet, I wrote a hub "Realistic Weight Loss" that may give you some ideas. Take care. Jean

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Feline- I'm glad to see there are still people in my chocolate corner!

      You are sooo right. Nothing is worth the deprivation..except... nope, there's nothing.

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Thank you, Susan! I'm glad it's not just MY clothes that shrink.

      I think there's something wrong with my mirrors as well, though. They're showing some lady with puffy cheeks. I KNOW my jawline is still very well defined. I'll have to do some research into this mirror conspiracy. I think the ice cream is behind it.

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      Susan B.- sadly enough, I wrote this several years ago. I was 20 pounds thinner at the time. There have been a lot of close calls with talking ice cream and donuts since that time!

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      7 years ago

      Haha...so glad you succumbed to the chocolate. Nothing is worth the deprivation! :)

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 

      7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      All the clothes in my closet shrunk I swear. Probably from being in there too long without being worn. That happens to clothes I swear. Love this one too Sue!

    • profile image

      Susan B. 

      7 years ago

      Did you write this before or after HH&H? It's funny!

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      I'll check it out. First, though, I have to finish my Big Mac and lament not having enough earplugs to lose weight.

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 

      7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      sueroy333,

      I blame the fast food industry in a very factual and totally not tounge in cheek, hub called "Going Mega".

      You might get a laugh out of it,

      Chris

    • sueroy333 profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Mills 

      7 years ago from Indiana

      I'm so glad you understood the underlying message that lack of earplugs is causing the obesity epidemic in our country. Thank God for people like you, Chris. You get it.

    • ChrisLincoln profile image

      ChrisLincoln 

      7 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

      SueRoy333,

      Thank goodness there are experts like you out there explaining this diet stuff. I am currently suffering from gross unsveltness due to all manner of foods calling out to me. I now realise this is not a self control issue, it's a hearing issue. All I need to do is to wear earplugs for the rest of my life.

      WHAT?

      Oh sorry, couldn't hear you.

      Chris

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