ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Entertainment and Media»
  • Comedy

Funny 911 Emergency Calls

Updated on August 28, 2016

Not a Real Emergency

Would you call 911 if someone messed up your cheeseburger order? Would you call 911 to get a date with a cop? Would you call 911 if you were locked inside your own car? The videos on this hub prove that some people believed these were good reasons to call 911.

It's amazing that some of the people who call 911 even know what the number for 911 is. Unfortunately people misuse and abuse the 911 emergency call center, putting others in danger by tying up the 911 dispatch phone lines with unimportant calls that sound more like pranks or "Saturday Night Live" sketches. Enjoy these 10 dumb reasons to call 911.

Don't Call for a Wrong Order at Burger King

"You're supposed to be here to protect me."

What kind of world are we living in that you can't call 911 to see to it that justice is served with a side of fries? Maybe there should be a Burger Land with an actual "Burger King." Then the Burger Knights could come and joust the servers for tyranny. The dispatcher's line is priceless, "We're not going to go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger." What is the Burger King motto? "Have it your way?"

Viagra Emergency

Don't Call because You Took Viagra

"I took um two um Viagra uh pills um, and my erection has been up for like four days."

Viagra uh is um dangerous um, but I feel sorry for the guy um who had to call um 911 about this. If you think a little further about this one, you realize this guy probably had to miss work for the same reason. So many jokes for this one, but they are all innapropriate. Lesson learned, don't take Viagra without a prescription. And if you find yourself in this situation, take yourself to the hospital earlier than four days.

I Need A Man

Don't Call to Ask a Cop On A Date

"I just thought he was cute. I'm 45 years old, and I'd like to meet him again. But I don't know how to go about doing that."

Don't call 911 for this reason unless your fantasy is to actually be arrested by the cop you hink is cute. There are other numbers for this sort of thing. This makes almost as much sense as robbing a bank to get a date with a cop. This is sad, and speaks for humanity's need for connection. The need can become so strong it becomes an emergency. This proves that humans need connection in order to survive.

Don't Call because You are Lost

"I can't find the movie theater and the movie starts in 5 minutes... I know, I'll call 911. It's an emergency."

No, it's not an emergency. You may be late, but you missing a movie isn't worth someone else missing a limb because the 911 emergency response wasn't fast enough. Don't tie up the phone line with this nonsense while someone else is tying off their tourniquet.

Don't Call when You are Stuck in a Traffic Jam

"I am going to be late for the movies. I can't believe how long this is taking. I better call 911 to report the situation."

Can you see a visual of an emergency? Do you see red and blue lights already? Do you hear sirens? Only call if you are pretty sure someone needs some help. Don't be so selfish as to call 911 to find out what happened because you are curious or want to know how long you will have to wait. Of course, if your wife is having a baby in the back seat, you might want to go ahead an make that call.

Marijuana Brownie Call

Don't Call to find out the Time

"What in the world? It's been 3 O'clock for two hours... Time must have stopped. I better call 911."

No. You're watch battery just died. Look at your cell phone for the time, it's probably more accurate anyway. Don't call 911, call a friend who lives in the same time zone. Call 911 only after checking at least 100 clocks that have all stopped at the same time and someone's life is in danger. But if you are a police officer who is high on marijuana brownies, I guess you should call 911.

Don't Call for a Weather Report

"Oh man, it looks like there's a big storm coming. I better call 911 to see what's going on."

Your storm is not an emergency until it's threatening someone's life. So if a tornado levels your house and your head is bleeding, then you should call. If your dog is barking like crazy, put him outside. It's not an emergency just yet. 911 emergency response is not a substitute for looking up the weather phone number, even if the power is out. Call information, then call the weather number and the power company.

Don't Test Your Cell Phone

"Oh hey, I was just testing to see if my cell phone was working. Thanks."

Don't be the guy who abuses 911 because you aren't creative enough to think of calling someone else. That goes for you guys who want to teach your kids about 911. Don't call just to show your kids that the police WILL show up even if you just dial 911 and hang up.

Four Year Old Calling for Help with a Math Problem

Don't Let Your Baby Call

"Ga Ga Goo... Hello? Oh sorry my baby had my cell phone and must have called 911."

Stuff like this happens to the best of us, but you don't want your baby or you to be responsible for preventing someone else's baby from getting help while choking on a hot dog. Buy a fake phone and give it to the baby, or give the kid your keys. The kid won't know the difference of the toy phone, and babies can't drive.

Woman Locked In Her Car

Don't Call if You are locked Inside Your Car

"I'm locked inside my car... It's getting hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."

This one would become an emergency as the heat eventually would make the woman sick to the point of passing out, so this could be pretty serious. Maybe it's a good idea to check the owner's manual in the glove box first. Of course, a friend might be able to help you think of this too.

Don't Call because You Can't Work Your iPhone

As technology progresses, there are always those who are unable to deal with the problems that arise. Here are some examples of a man calling 911 because his iPhone was not working. The audio clips show the man is definitely wasting the emergency dispatcher's time. He even says, “Why can’t you direct me to the AT&T people?” in one of his multiple calls. I think this guy could be a spokesperson on an Apple commercial. And he could say, "There's an app for that."

Can You Save A Life By Not Calling 911?

The purpose of this hub is for a laugh and to educate those who may not know some of the poor reasons for calling 911. This hub could save a life by keeping the phone lines at 911 emergency call centers from being tied up with shenanigans. Of couse, call 911 for all your appropriate emergency needs possibly including being trapped in your car or a four day erection, depending on the circumstances. Some reasons, however, are not good excuses to call 911. See the following sources to know when to call 911.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 5 years ago from America

      I once saw NY City tell people to call 911 if they saw a dog left in a hot car. Our 911 would be very unhappy with us if we did that.

      There was a lady on tv she called 911 because her dog was choking. A cop showed up and saved the dog's life.

      Good hub. Voted Up.

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 6 years ago from Georgia

      Very funny! Yep, people call 911 for the dumbest reasons - and get into lots of trouble for it. Glad you shared the lighter side of a 911 call.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 6 years ago from Pune, India

      Funny Hub, thank you for sharing it.

    • profile image

      Sasa 6 years ago

      These are awe some did u know that nomatter what's wrong with you're phone 911 still works i know from experience.

    • Jewelz1313 profile image

      Jewelz1313 6 years ago from Branson, Missouri

      I needed this laugh today. Thank you. Voted up and shared on facebook.

    • profile image 6 years ago

      STUPID as out

    • RedSturtz profile image

      RedSturtz 6 years ago from A land far far away....

      I've known of several parents whose children have called the emergency number (000 in Australia).

      They just thought it was funny. But I agree that it could mean valuable seconds between life and death. We don't let our kids use the stove, why let them use the phone before they're old enough?

    • profile image

      Womble. 6 years ago

      My sister worked as a call taker for the ambulance service for a while, and took calls for someone who wanted to know how to defrost a chicken, one who was lonely and wanted an ambulance crew to come and give him a hug, and one person who wanted to know how to clean suede shoes. The last was an emergency because they wanted to wear them to a party later that night.

    • einron profile image

      einron 6 years ago from Toronto, Ontario, CANADA

      Very appropriate and well written!

    • profile image

      devin  7 years ago

      i thoght this was funny. im a fire fighter and we had a call were a feral cat had its head stuck in a can. which sucks but come on. also it turned out to be there friends cat.

    • Fenixfan profile image

      Jesse James 7 years ago from Crooked Letter State

      It's kinda sad that these people actually call emergency service for these preposterous events, but it sure does offer great reading material. I had some buddies that would prank call 911 when we were back in high school. They thought it was hilarious until they found out that 911 could tell exactly where you were calling from. Needless to say a local officer showed up at their door one night and they got to serve some much needed community service on the weekends.

    • Charles James profile image

      Charles James 7 years ago from Yorkshire, UK

      It was reported that someone in England telephoned 999 (our equivalent of 911) because his wife was outside on a ladder painting the house and instead of making his normal roast beef Sunday lunch she had left him some sandwiches to eat instead.

    • raineer profile image

      raineer 7 years ago

      Haha these are funny. I've only ever called 911 one time in my life, but it was for a good reason (I think)

    • profile image

      Kathryn LJ 8 years ago

      Excellent hub. My personal UK inapropriate emergency call was the bloke who phoned the police because he couldn't find his bible. The chief constable was a fundamentalist christian so perhaps it was witty rather than dumb.

    • profile image

      Kanny Leia 8 years ago

      once i was at target and a nearby Del taco dumpster had caught on fire

    • success79 profile image

      success79 8 years ago

      Interesting hub! Nicely written article.

    • lizy625 profile image

      lizy625 8 years ago from ohio

      love this!-I have family members on Chicago Fire Dept.< sooo true!

    • Blake Flannery profile image

      Blake Flannery 8 years ago from United States


      I do have more. I am planning on writing one hub with links to my funny hubs. These are the type of hubs I enjoy writing most.

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 8 years ago from Southern California

      These were so funny. Do you have any more?

    • Blake Flannery profile image

      Blake Flannery 8 years ago from United States

      Yes, Legacy W., that's the beauty of America, isn't it. You can vote no matter how dumb, absent-minded, or ignorant you are. 911 is just a small scale government "bail out."

    • Legacy Wellness profile image

      Legacy Wellness 8 years ago from Katy, Texas

      Great Hub. I needed a good laugh today. What's scary about your hub is the fact that the people making these 911 calls can VOTE!

    • Blake Flannery profile image

      Blake Flannery 8 years ago from United States

      J. McCoy,

      Now that is hilarious and the kind of thing that would be difficult to make up. Thanks for sharing.

    • J. McCoy profile image

      J. McCoy 8 years ago from CA (originally)

      Thanks for a good laugh again. I've been on the other side of those calls, and they're probably more common than you think. My favorite one was an animal cruelty call. A neighbor reported a dog chained to the house in sub-freezing temperatures. "It hasn't moved for days and I'm afraid it's frozen stiff." We arrived to find the offenders had bought a lion statue and had done the unthinkable: left it outside.

    • Blake Flannery profile image

      Blake Flannery 8 years ago from United States

      This would be especially funny if your costume had anything to do with emergency response, like a police, fire, rescue, ambulance, etc.

    • Storytellersrus profile image

      Barbara 8 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      This is funny, but also fascinating. It amazes me to discover what some might consider emergencies. I was trying to think of the dumbest reason I could imagine for someone to call 9-11 and came up with a seasonal one... someone calls because a child is stuck in his/her Halloween costume. Considering the above, it could happen! Thanks. This really interested me.

    • Blake Flannery profile image

      Blake Flannery 8 years ago from United States

      Good, it is probably good to activate the emergency response system if you think someone's life is in danger. It sounds like you used 911 for a good reason.

    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      This is too cute! I actually called 911 after seeing a motorcycle accident from behind a HUGE truck on I95 a couple of years ago. I didn't see the actual accident, but the police made me go back to the scene (after I had already given the poor guy the bandaids in my purse for his scrapes and made sure he was okay). They actually insisted that I drive in the median to get there! Turned out they didn't need me, because like I told them, I hadn't seen anything except the guy go off the road....The person who hit them had driven off, and because of my call, they got them!