ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Earthlings Against Alien Abduction

Updated on June 9, 2009

Turn Your Home into A Fortress!

Turning your home into an anti-alien fortress is easy with some simple anti-alien home products. While you can't get anti-alien paneled windows, anti-alien insulation, anti-alien home siding or paint, anti-alien roofing materials, anti-alien telephone service provider, or anti-alien utilities (yet!), we can give you guidelines and suggestions on how to alien from outer space proof your home!

Anti-Alien Salt

For best results, formulate a mixture of sea and land salt (equal parts of each) to make the most effective alien repellent. Just sprinkle an ounce or two around your bed each night and enjoy an abduction free sleep. Can also be used in cooking, replacing your regular supermarket salt! Caution: Do not ingest if you are pregnant (hybrid or human child), or have high blood pressure.

Anti- alien aluminum foil

Make sure you use foil devised with titanium alloy, although this might not be available on planet Earth just yet. If not now, it will be by 2013 if the world doesn't end before then. This is the only kind that will shield you from alien’s insidious rays. Line the walls and ceiling in your house (shiny side out, of course) or formulate it into a helmet to prevent the tracking of your implants. Remember, regular aluminum foil is a transmitter. If you doubt that, just remember those old rabbit ears. What did we use to get better reception?

Anti-Anti-Gravity Garlic

Although this spice is commonly known to keep away vampires, researchers have discovered that garlic also prevents the anti-gravity forces used by aliens Don't worry, ordinary supermarket or homegrown garlic will do, and see the difference when your abduction rate goes down or even stops!

Anti-Alien Spring Water

Unlike those stupid wimps in the movie "Signs", real aliens aren’t afraid of water, especially on a planet with so much of it. I mean, seriously, they were able to travel millions of light years but couldn't figure out how to protect themselves from water on a planet that's mostly water? Come on, what kind of plot hole is that? Anyway, when you buy spring water, you get natural anti-alien minerals blended with the water from a confined aquifer anf are not only a great thirst quencher, but may also be a potent alien repellent. We suggest drinking at least two bottles a day. Tap water might work as well, the results of those studies aren't in yet.

Anti-alien Duct Tape

This product safely seals off any room in the house but is easily removable by human hands in case an exit is needed in an emergency. Use around doors, windows or plumbing fixtures. Effectiveness varies before needing to be replaced. You'll know when it looks worn or tampered with.


Join the Earthlings Against Alien Abduction Club! (EAAA) Email me for details.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      ArchonHunter13 5 years ago

      I am currently under attack by thought-form parasites that call themselves "Archons" I have found that using aluminum foil lined inside of your baseball cap keeps these parasites thoughts from projecting into your brain, but it does not block your thoughts off from them. There is also a grounding stone called Nuumite which wards of psychic manipulation and sorcery quiet effectivly. These beings feed off negative thoughts, so postivity is a must. Being grounded in your heart center is your best defense, anger, and axiety makes them more powerful. There is also an positive ambient energy device called orgonite which will destroy any over-head space ships.

    • profile image

      martinnitsim 5 years ago

      well kevin it took me ages to find it this is the site

      filling address ,give them a call ,tell them martin n said you would sort him out

    • profile image

      daniel 6 years ago

      hmm... I asked for "conversation between alien and earthling

      not this one though it's useful !!!

    • profile image

      Joe Gattafoni 8 years ago

      Excellent article--concise yet exhaustive. I was able to find most of these materials at a local store that specializes in protecting people from alien abductions. Here is their link: