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Elysium - A Review by InkyBlueMind
Elysium movie poster
Jose Pablo Cantillo
Maxwell Perry Cotton
Elysium - A Review by InkyBlueMind
So this movie, I took one look at the trailer when it was coming out at the movie theatre and desperately wanted to see it. I liked the concept and it had Jodie Foster in it and that should be a win, right? Yeah, not so much.
Keep reading if you dare!
So we start off with Max, a little boy in an orphanage on Earth run by nun's, his only friend is a girl named Frey, who is either his age or slightly older, I will say that the child actor playing young Max, Maxwell Perry Cotton, was a pretty good match look wise to Matt Damon and he acted pretty well too. I can't really say the same about look wise for the actress that plays young Frey as I don't think they look anything alike really.
There are few inconsistencies that start at the beginning of the movie, like why is Max there? Where are his parents? Which they never actually explain, all you see is a talk between one of the nun's that talks to him about his antisocial bad behaviour, which insert some destiny talk - YAY awesome and give him a locket with a picture of Earth in where she tells him to save money and get up there.
I have to admit that the future sky was very cool and the satellite landscape on Elysium is pretty awesome EXCEPT the fact of where is the freaking roof? Like shuttles can just fly in, no mention of a force field keeping everyone in and if it was blown up or anything the whole place would have gone bye bye because you know gravity is a powerful thing. Major eff up guys, just saying.
Look how pretty - except we're all floating in space because there is NO FREAKING ROOF
What did you say?!
Moving on, we head into the future where Max must be at least twenty-five or something if not older, I don't quite remember or they didn't say, to LA where we find out all the poor and poverty stricken is the whole of Earth, that the wealthy fled and built Elysium where nobody gets sick because they have machines that cure them of everything, while everyone is dying on Earth, nice guys.
Everyone speaks Spanish in LA, which I get is a big thing anyway but why in this time of year is it that everyone speaks Spanish, I mean EVERYONE, even Max. I don't really understand this and just curious, maybe its just me, I don't have an issue with it I just want it explained as to why. Just because they're all poor on Earth now doesn't mean that they're all Spanish or Mexican or speak Spanish, you know what I'm saying?
The first thing we see is Max getting up, getting dressed, he has one of those lovely fashionable pieces worn by ex-convicts and he walks to bus to go to work, where he is met by robots doing the work of humans because apparently everyone else is too good to.
So insert sarcastic comments here as Max makes a joke, the robots, surprise surprise, don't understand a word he is saying and don't get jokes at all, beat the crap out of him and brutally break his arm.
It was joke, you know like, haha!
Hello Frey, long time no speak!
So after he is sent off to the hospital for the broken arm the lovely robocops with no sense of humour gave him, we meet Frey for the first time, they haven't seen one another in years and she really doesn't have all that much time for him, plus being in high demand she doesn't stay very long other than to quickly tell him what's going to happen, which isn't much because EARTH IS POOR.
After much pleading on Max's side she finally agrees to a coffee after 8pm she finally runs off and kind of disses him in my opinion anyway.
Next we see Max go see his Parole Officer because he got into trouble with the law, they don't have people running this place, its all freaking automated robots! He can't explain what happens because the robot doesn't respond to him properly and basically offers him drugs to stop his behavioural issues. Like WTF?
Why you misbehave?
Whistle while you work - no don't it might be bad!
So we follow Max to work after this where he nearly gets fired because he has a broken arm but Max promises he can work, so he goes to work, to which I think he either helps build the bodies of the robots that beat the crap out of him or just puts them in the big elevator thing, not quite sure which.
Anyway, we switch between Elysium and Earth at this point to which the great differences can be seen in the fact that Earth is almost desolate, chaotic noise and speak Spanish and Elysium is peaceful, classical relaxing music and where they speak French.
Enter Jodie Foster, who in my opinion hair is too short and her outfits change too many times - plot hole! - but otherwise she looks awesome, don't get me wrong I actually love her as an actress, just not so much in this role (which I think personally she looks like she would agree with me).
One of these things is not like the other! Plus it's Jodie!
Homeland Robocop Security
We then see that basically people pay a lot of money to get taken up to Elysium illegally, but things don't end well for them, homeland security are basically robots and if you're not killed on sight then you generally get deported back to Earth.
Delacourt wants to crack down on the illegal entry into Elysium, brutally, she isn't a big fan of subtle or being a soft touch, but there are not a lot of people on her side of things so she orders, bad ass, Kruger, to shoot the shuttles from the sky as they land, this is an ex con who she has basically working as an assassin to do her work. I wouldn't mind him so much, I think he is a bad ass character, but the accent is too thick for me... which I think takes away from the villain aspect.
Bad boy, Kruger.
Back to Max
So, we head back to Max, who is in the process of putting the top half of the robocops into the big elevator thing, but one of the pallets gets stuck, his boss comes over, yells at him and tells him to get in there and fix it, he doesn't want to as its too dangerous but his boss gives him an ultimatum either get in there and do it or leave because you're fired, so he gets in there and moves the pallet.
I have some not so nice comments about the boss in my notes, pretty much along the line of he is a selfish b*****d, basically tells all the other workers to stop trying to get Max out because he is a, "lost cause" and get back to work all the while he calls for an extraction team.
We find out that Max got hit with a large, lethal dose of radiation, where they tell him he basically only has 5 days to live and give him pills. I got the impression here that they wanted him to work until he died but I think that was wrong, it wouldn't surprise me if this was actually the case because they kind of treat everyone on Earth like they're disposable just because they're "lower class" which they made them anyway, rant over, they send him home where his foster brother, Julio finds him and helps him back to the house.
Julio, where art thou!
In the meantime, Secretary Delacourt has her butt handed to her by the President, to which she gets pissed and does what she wants anyway, hence intro of Kruger.
So back to Max and Julio, to which we have a fairly graphic vomit all over the dinner table, hope someone cleans that up sooner rather than later, Max tells Julio he has only five days to live and that he needs to get up to Elysium so he tells him he is going to Spider, who takes a lot of money from people to get them up there, who I mentioned previously, all the while ignoring Julio's rants about it being a bad idea.
Dying now or later?
Spider agrees to help him, once he sees he is sick, only if he will do the one job that none of his men have the balls to do, which is steal brain data from any of those that work on Earth but live on Elysium that have access to the vital information they need, access codes to Elysium, Max agrees and tells them to use his former big boss because the asshole basically said leave him to die.
Intro: John Carlyle
In the mean time, Delacourt has pulled Carlyle to ask him if he has capabilities to reboot the system, he confirms he can, she asks if in that reboot if he can name anyone he wants as president and he confirms once more here can, she then "hires" him to do this and promises to maintain a contract with him building the robots for the next 20 or 200 years - don't remember which sorry too busy thinking holy hell.
Spider wants basically to plug into Carlyle brain to download it into Max's head which will mean an all expenses paid trip to Elysium with snacks provided.
At this point though Max can barely stand or walk by himself, how will he do the job? Oh, that's okay, Spider has a bionic suit to make him stronger so you know.
Here comes Bionic Max and after some awesome gory and gruesome surgery later this is what you get...
Bionic / Robo Max
Julio goes with Max on the mission to get the brain data from John Carlyle, they take an awesome looking armored car - which I kind of want now because it would even be able to go up my rocky drive way and goes fast - and the dude that did the surgery, Sandro, played by Jose Pablo Cantillo, goes with to help download the brain data, they go in an armored truck.
So they shoot Carlyle's shuttle from the sky, fight the droid that he sends out, meanwhile an alert goes up to Delacourt that he is under attack so she sends Agent Kruger in to resolve the problem, mean while they have downloaded the data (Just in case you are wondering, which is actually fairly important now that I'm thinking about it, they want the data for all the access code passwords to Elysium, which is inside Carlyle's head) when Sandro realizes its corrupt, he bails, Carlyle is now dead, they fight second droid, may not necessarily be in this order but still... oh yeah and say goodbye to Julio now because he gets killed by that SOB Kruger.
So as badass as Kruger is, again, I think its weakened by the accent, sorry dude, I find South African accents the least sexy / least bad ass of them all, maybe if you had been Russian or Mexican or something? I don't know.
Even Matt Damon doesn't impress me super much in this role, I really personally don't think he was hardcore enough for this role in my opinion, but hey watch it and let me know what you think.
I do have to mention that I think that the dismantling / decapitating the droid was awesome, the noises and squeaks were like it was a real person wearing a robotic suit, I thought that was pretty funny.
So this is the part where Max runs because Sandro took off, not sure what happened to the other dude and beloved Julio (yes, he is beloved, don't argue with me :P) is dead.
Lovely old lady with pigs tells him to hide under her cart, I'm wondering if many other people would have accepted this offer regardless of running for their life, I mean she seems nice enough but you never know, maybe she is into some kinky stuff man.
Oh, yeah, forgot this one.
So even though he is bionic and dying, he can still get hurt, what kind of suit is this? Anyway, he runs to hospital for Frey's help who in the mean time we find out has a kid, who is dying, to which it is NEVER mentioned in the film who the baby daddy is, my vote personally is on Max, but I dunno, they may not have that sort of relationship.
Anyway, so Matilda (Frey's daughter) gets kicked out of hospital because she is stable and considering she is in acute end stage leukemia, she looks pretty awesome, I think they probably should have at least made her look sick, especially considering she was on Earth where they're poverty stricken, like bloody hell guys, come on, get your s*** together, ya know?
Moving on, Frey takes him home from hospital, bandages him up and when he realizes she has a kid there, is a little douchey to the girl when she tells him a story about a Hippo helping another animal because it was lonely and needed friends makes sense further into the movie.
He leaves because ya know its okay to put the chicks life in danger but the kid is a no no so at least he has some morals even if he was a dick to his potential daughter.
Uh oh, he got your baby mama!
So after Max has run off, Kruger sees him coming out of Frey's house anyway, goes in after and kidnaps Frey and kid because she basically is pretty and he wants her.
My notes tell me that somebody get their heads blown off "gushilly" that is totally not a word but it will work for the moment, notes further down tell me its Kruger, though how is he still alive by this point I do not know, some AWESOME facial reconstruction, graphic, gory imagery to follow so if squeamish you should definitely look away and quickly scroll down because I have posted the best photo I could find below.
I like you, you are perty.
To conclude because if I review much more of the movie it will totally give the whole thing away, even though I have spoilers in most of my reviews, I try not to spoil the ending as I view that as a completely different thing.
Overall, I found this movie pretty tedious, I feel that Jodie wasn't really into it, there are several plot holes, I think that most of the movie could have been cut, the acting was fairly average in my opinion, the best being Matt Damon, Jodie Foster's and begrudgingly I will say it, Sharlto Copley and the cinematography was alright especially on the aerial views between Earth and Elysium.
I really wasn't super impressed by this movie really to be honest, I love my sci-fi movies as well but this just felt a little average compared to the hype it got and also for having Jodie Foster in it, come on guys, really?
The gore was quite impressive considering comparatively I have only seen that sort of bloody goodness in horror or thriller movies, I was very impressed to say the least.