Funny Sayings By Famous People Pt 2
Are You Ready?
If you have read the first hub in this series, you will know that you are in for a hilarious adventure ride into the world of stupidity. If you have not, it is all right; I will grant you permission to read this one. Just make sure to read the first one after you are done; and be forewarned my security guards are watching your ever move with the newest and best technology(yes I really do have two security guards who protect their real identities by using aliases such as billybuc and TToombs08). Sorry, back on track again....I am going to be sharing with you some more stupid quotes by famous people which will in return, make you out to be very intellectual. Doesn't that sound amazing! Finally at least for a moment, we can deceive ourselves into thinking we are a smart by reading stupid quotes uttered from famous people(you know the ones who get paid to look professional in front of people?) I mean if we say stupid things, which I am sure we all do from time to time(for me, on a daily basis), why don't we get a commission?
Anyway, kick off those shoes, plunge into your most comfy chair and relax! Enjoy these hilariously stupid quotes from famous people!
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle So close Dan, I mean if we took out the minor, and albeit very minor issue which is the fact that Chicago isn't a state! Yeah that issue.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - Dan Quayle Again Dan, so close but yet so far off, like trying to be rinse out a dry sponge, off. I mean think about it, doesn't the definition of success imply that there is no failure.
"Now, we used to have the best infrastructure in the world here in America. We’re the country that built the Intercontinental Railroad, the Interstate Highway System."- Barak Obama I may not be the smartest guy on the planet, but I think Obama meant to refer to the Transcontinental Railroad, seeing that the Intercontinental Railroad is nonexistent, but who knows.
"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." - Barbara Boxer I think it is clearly understood by all that their lives will never be the same again, but thanks for trying to inflect on us your wisdom!
"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." - Bill Clinton Too late Bill, too late...
"And now, will y'all stand and be recognized." - Gib Lewis, (Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day) I am sure that just really made their day!
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields So intuitive, except for the fact that it's pretty obvious, please someone correct me if I am wrong!
"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." - Miss Alabama (in the 1994 Miss Universe contest, when asked if she could live for whatever would she... ) Usually I can come up with a witty response in a heartbeat; I think the reason I am struggling is because there is nothing else left to say.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." Great idea Mariah let's just say whatever we want without even giving it a second thought. I mean it's not like your comment was totally rude or anything like that....Oh wait, except for the fact that it was nothing but rude!
"I feel my best when I'm happy."- Winona Ryder Wait really? You too? I feel the same way! Let's hang out some time over coffee and doughnuts and become friends, seeing that we have so much in common...
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone Do you have an internal editor, you know that thing we call a brain that monitors whether or not something makes sense? And you get paid to speak lines? Man, am I glad they give you the script, so you don't have to make up your own words.
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson (Florida State Football coach)Now this man can really count, I mean he can make it all the way up to 1, that's pretty impressive if you ask me!
"Okay, everyone, now inhale... and then dehale!" - Maury Wills (LA Dodgers captain)What is up with famous people messing up on the prefixes?! I mean think about it, it's not that difficult. Do you know your basic antonyms, the ones you learned back in elementary school? Up and down, left and right, in and....."fill in the blank" OUT!
"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite" - Murray Walker (sportscaster) Once again an epic fail in the synonym category!
"I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians." - Tom Lasorda (former coach of the dodgers)Ah! Dashing my beliefs against the rocks! You mean to tell me that all this time while I was thinking that the Italian team was made up of Portuguese, that I was wrong! I am gonna go cry in a corner now; Look what you have caused!
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Greg Norman (golfer) Now this guy is a clever one to say the least...oh wait...spoken to soon...almost forgot that mother and father are synonymous with parents, silly me!
"In a sense it's a one-man show... except there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper." - John Motson (soccer commentator) Wow, so close except for the fact that when you mentioned the other two aspects of the "show" you went from having one man to having three...again simple mathematics...Maybe the problem is not the famous people, but their Mathematics teachers! If only they had Bill as their teacher!
Enjoy Some More!
Part One in the Series
- Famous People: Not So Famous Sayings
A compilation of hilarious quotes said by famous people. These funny sayings will crack you up!
Please Don't Cry: It's Contagious!
Well my hub friends, and those of you who happened to find this hub while skipping down the fast lane of HubPages, I hate to say it, but it's about that time! It is time to say goodbye... Yes, that means it is time to springboard back into reality and think before you speak. Time to get back to work and stop that uncontrollable laughter. I hope I have not broken your heart, those of you who wanted a gazillion more quotes to read...Think of my fingers please, they are tired and would really appreciate a nap!
And remember those of you who have not visited part one of the series, look on your right hand...see that little red circle...(it may or may not be a laser that will follow every step you make)
Well that's all folks!