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Fecal Transfusions - Be A Donor!

Updated on June 19, 2013
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The Cure

Researchers have discovered that fecal therapy beats the crap out of antibiotic therapy for some people.

Up to 3 million Americans are infected with severe cases of Clostridium difficile (C. diff) annually. Scientists have found that fecal bacteriotherapy can be the cure for cases where antibiotic therapies are resistant. Apparently, this isn't a new therapy. Some doctors have been in the stool transplanting business for years.

Doctors have had excellent success with fecal transplants. They find that replacing healthy bacteria with person's suffering with an overload of bad bacteria can help balance things out. While it's invasive, patients say it's the only thing that stopped their severe stomach cramping and diarrhea and it was well worth their cooperation.

Again?!

Good Science

While I take advantage of the comic relief in this situation this sh*& is totally true! According to some patients, it was the only thing that cured them. Bacteria that become resistant to antibiotic therapy can become overwhelming for the body. Some sufferers resist fecal transfusion at first because it sounds awful but after days or weeks of no relief they are desperate enough to break that barrier. If you can't stop crapping your pants, you might want to ask your doctor about the lesser known alternative.

If you suffer from chronic diarrhea you may want to consider a fecal transfusion! This might even save your life. I bet Louis Pasteur would be jealous.

Source

Be Proud!

Promote your sh*&! Be proud to be a donor. I want to see bumper stickers and decals for automobiles that boast, "I GAVE A SHIT!" For a second time donor they can upgrade their status and get an "I gave 2 sh*&s!" sticker. I want to see "SH*& Banks" and dumping stations. I'd like to see marathons run and drives held for this cause. American's unabashedly parade around collecting money for other causes, why not this one?

Help your 3 million fellow American's overcome chronic diarrhea.

I expect that a foundation should be formed and perhaps a trust. A trust would require a board of trustees. Maybe they could call it the "Sh*& Foundation" or the "Excrement Foundation" if you want to make it sound more sophisticated. Who wants to be on the Sh&* board? We would need an executive Sh*& and a couple of chiefs. Who knew that being on the sh*& list could mean so much?

Doctors fear that knowledge about this treatment is spread too thin. They worry that potential patients just aren't ready to hear about it or talk about it. Fear not...I am here to help spread the message.

I am doing my part and spreading the word. I really do give a shi*&!

Have a heart....Give a Little Bit!

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." ~Mark Twain

Comments

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  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    LMAO...I have no idea what to say so I'm not going to say anything at all. Way too funny, Kelly!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Yeah Bill! It's a real thing and you know I am ALL about keeping things real:)

    My mom's a nurse and my step dad is an M.D. and they said they thought I should write some informative articles that were health related. I bet their so proud of me! LMAO!!

  • Austinstar profile image

    Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

    I deferred writing about this cause because I thought it would raise a shit storm. I see that you not only don't care about ruffling feathers, you actually do give two shits. I hope this hub isn't censored, because as you stated, it is REAL!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I know Lela! I was just telling Dave that it might get sensored but it shouldn't...I didn't even spell one curse word out in its entirety:) LOL

    It is a serious thing...and I do think it helps to laugh about it in spreading the word...my parents really are medical people and they didn't even know about this until very recently. The people that have said they actually had the therapy were very glad it cured them. It's been done for decades and people don't want to talk about this one because it isn't very pretty.

  • diogenes profile image

    diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

    Huh? Is it all getting too much for you, RH!??

    Bob x

  • krillco profile image

    William E Krill Jr 4 years ago from Hollidaysburg, PA

    Wow...I just....I....never knew....wow......ewe

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Bob! Oh no...I'm just helping to educate the world! lol

    Thanks - now you know!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I know! Isn't that crazy? Nobody even knows about this sh*&! lol Thanks for the comment!

  • Austinstar profile image

    Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

    It has come out in some of the medical journals I subscribe to. A viable treatment for Chrohn's disease is a good thing to know. I'll admit it grossed me out the first time I heard it. I wonder why they don't use freeze dried enterobacteriacea (sp?) of the correct strains. Apparently giving it in the form of enemas seems to work best.

    When you think about it, it's not much grosser than maggots for wound therapy or leeches for whatever it is that they use leeches for. I can't think of it right now.

  • fpherj48 profile image

    Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

    Welllll....If I was your Mom, I'd sure be proud of you!...lmao....Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or gasp in disbelief....I think I did a bit of both. Hey, whatever works, right?

    OMG....what next, Kelly?

  • ChristinS profile image

    Christin Sander 4 years ago from Midwest

    Wow you learn something new every day - lol

  • Just Ask Susan profile image

    Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    Seriously .... Wow! The things I learn on this site :)

    Leave it to you to take such a _hitty subject and turn it into something funny.

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Lela - I know it sounds gross but if it works and your gonna die otherwise? Ill take some of your poo!! Thank you!

    They filter it a whole bunch and chant over it and pray and junk, I heard. Hahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Paula! I know, right?! Ha! I had no idea about this but my parents said I should write about it to be informative. I don't think they realized I'd take it this far:) LOL

  • RealHousewife profile image
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    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I know...I didn't even believe this was real when I found out abut it. I goggled it - it is!!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Susan, you know I love you! I'm just making sure everyone knows how to take advantage of health care to the fullest:) LOL

    I still have a hard time believing this is a real thing! Thanks gosh too cuz it was fun to write about:)

  • Melovy profile image

    Yvonne Spence 4 years ago from UK

    Oh, wow, Kelly, where do you find this stuff? I'm with Susan - you do manage to make the most crappy subjects hilarious!

  • Stephanie Henkel profile image

    Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

    It's hard to believe that this is a real treatment, but it must be true...I saw it on an episode of House! :) You did a great job with the article, keeping it light and funny, yet stressing the reality of the treatment. I imagine that you have to be in dire straights to agree to it, but at some point, desperation overcomes revulsion. (I guess...)

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Haha! I know I have a weird family:). Our holidays, we sit around the table and get mini exams like my mom takes our BP and vitals...they get really in depth when asking how your "feeling." The subject matter over dinner might be about new treatments or surgeries...this did come up! My dad said, "well I'm a doctor and I didn't even know about it!" Then my mom said, "you should write one of those hubs!" Hahaha. Oh yi yi! I couldn't pass it up! Hahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Stephanie thank you! I really am trying to be funny but it's a serious thing. It is a treatment that some people might benefit from IF they know about it. In our society we don't often want to talk about things that don't sound pretty but people need to know about this! Apparently it really works! I have a friend who had severe issues and was basically trapped in her house because of this kind of stuff...you can't imagine how it can paralyze a person!

    So yeah I was thinking about going all serious but people wouldn't read it then! Sad but true...!

  • diogenes profile image

    diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico

    British politicians should be approached to be donors..they are full of it!!

    Bob

  • Ruchira profile image

    Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

    I could not believe what I am reading, Kelly.

    But you r right on money, my friend. Such thing exists...lol

    Voted up as useful

  • unknown spy profile image

    IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

    Just Unbelievable! but nothing is impossible to science :)

  • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

    Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

    I'm still trying to decide if this is real...but I know it is. A little disturbing and this article immediately brought to mind the current brouhaha around Al Roker's story. Maybe people should just try changing their diet first. Wow is all I can say.

  • jhamann profile image

    Jamie Lee Hamann 4 years ago from Reno NV

    This is the craziest thing I have heard of since fire enema's. Jamie

  • sholland10 profile image

    Susan Holland 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

    Kelly, only you could make me laugh about something so serious. I did not know about this type of therapy. I did know that taking too many antibiotics could cause immunity, so fecal therapy stands to reason that it would work.

    Very interesting!!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Thanks Bob, I don't think we need to go out of our country to get enough of that from political people:) hahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I feel ya Ruchira! I couldn't believe my good luck either:) haha. This was so fun to write about (and joke about:). Is sad but I know if I'd written it from a serious perspective...well no one would have read it!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I could hardly believe it myself Glimmer Twin! I was so pleased it wasn't all B.S.! Lol. Really it's a real thing and I seriously think people should know about it. Allow me! Lol. Thanks!

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    See Jaime? I know...I don't even need to worry about writing fiction with all the real crap going down in the world! Lol

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Thanks so much Susan! Get those good endorphins going:).

    My parents told me about this...as if they thought I wasn't full enough already that I needed to add somebody else's crap to my regime:) lmao

    See there? I've educated all these people! I feel so great about myself:) haha

  • marcoujor profile image

    Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

    OMG, I wish you had written my Nursing textbooks...because that was some boring sh#+*it

    This info flows from you like a royal flush...oh poop, did that make sense?!

    Voted UP and FABI... Hugs, Maria

  • Sharyn's Slant profile image

    Sharon Smith 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

    Um, I bet your mom and step daddy are SO proud of you Kel. Seriously, this is quite interesting and educational. Your humor is simply the icing on the cake.

  • drbj profile image

    drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

    I'm so proud of your funny audacious hub, Kelly, that here and now I nominate you as the CFO - Controllor of Fecal Operations. And dedicate this poetry to the cause:

    Are you often on the throne?

    Do not holler, do not moan.

    Whatever you do, don't just sit,

    Be very proud and give a $h!t!

  • innerspin profile image

    innerspin 4 years ago from uk

    Wow, interesting, in a gross way. You're so right to get the message out there, and in a way that will make people want to talk about it. Just wondering whether some err, donations, come with the warning," May contain traces of nuts."

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Marcoujor - that's kinda funny. The thought of me being allowed to write a nursing text book! Hahahah OMG! I would LOVE that but everyone would be dead! I only work with sleepers:) LOL

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Yah, my step dads all serious like "well I'm a doctor and I never heard about it! You should write an informative piece about that." Haha I was like YO mom and dad - THANKS for that idea! I love writing about poo! Lol

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    THAT'S what I'M talkin' about Drbj! I get to be CFO?! Awesome!

    Too funny right? My parents were dying laughing when I showed it to them:) hahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hahahahaha ha OMG you should get a gift for making me laugh so much inner spin:). ROTFL!

    I told my parents I'd write about it but that it had to be funny or nobody would read about this sh%#! If I was really totally serious it wouldn't be shareable you know? Humor like this is easier to take if we can laugh about it, I think. Even working in a sleep lab, the most worrisome problem to MANY patients was "what if I pass gas?" Seriously! I'd be like, "you're here for a medical test and your worried about farting?" Hahaha. YEP!

  • profile image

    Chewy Mommy 4 years ago

    The title of this stopped me in my tracks!!!! I had never heard of this as a treatment although I admit it makes sense. I wonder, do fecal donors get cookies and juice after donating like you do when you give blood? Funny AND informational article.

  • mary615 profile image

    Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

    I am at that stage in life when absolutely nothing surprises me! This is the second Hub I've read tonight concerning feces. The first one was about dogs who eat theirs and now this one! Maybe the dogs know something we should know, huh????

    I'll tell you, HubPages is not only educational, it's intertaining, too!

    I voted this one UP.

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Chewy Mommy - I almost busted a gut reading your comment:) haha juice and cookies...lmao

    I was too afraid to dig any deeper into the science of it:) haha

    Hi Mary615 - it's amazing how interested everyone is in their (and their dogs?) poo! Lol. Thanks for the up votes...I never miss an opportunity to educate when I can also make fun of a subject:) haha

  • MartieCoetser profile image

    Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

    Oops, I think I have control problems now....

    Running to donate some fecal....

    Really, this shitofabulous breakthrough may won the Noble Award, but it's now the instigator of an acute gastroenteral disorder in my sensitive intestinal system.

    Excellent article, Realhouswife! I hope you did not write this on your laptop in your....

    .... beautiful kitchen.

    Oh boy....

    LOL!

  • xstatic profile image

    Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

    I thought sure you were shitting us with this one, even clicked that Slate link to check. You made this subject both interesting and funny.

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Martie! Too funny...I don't think this is exactly what my folks had in mind when they told me about it...hahaha..but i sure had fun with it!l

    I wrote it in the bathroom of course! lol.

  • RealHousewife profile image
    Author

    Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    i wouldn't shit you Xstatic:) haha thank you SO much!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Oh, this is so gross, yet I have enough stomach issues that this also sounds oddly appealing. I need a transplant! Who knew?

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