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Fifty Shades of Black

Updated on February 4, 2016

Fifty Shades of Black

Director: Michael Tiddes

Writers: Marlon Wayans, Rick Alvarez

Cast: Marlon Wayans, Kali Hawk, Fred Willard, Mike Epps, Affion Crockett, Jane Seymour, Florence Henderson, Andrew Bachelor, Jenny Zigrino, Kate Miner, Sydney Castillo, Irene Choi, Russell Peters, D.C. Ervin, Chaunte Wayans

Synopsis: An inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship.

MPAA Rating: Rated R for strong crude sexual content including some graphic nudity, and for language throughout

If you haven't guessed, he's making fun of "Magic Mike" in this movie as well.
If you haven't guessed, he's making fun of "Magic Mike" in this movie as well.

Stevennix2001's Rating:

1 / 10

Pros:

- It's more entertaining than "Fifty Shades of Grey", so that has to count for something right?

Cons:

- None of the jokes are funny, as you can see all the punch lines coming from a mile away.

- Marlon Wayans basically plays himself again

- Since the film pretty much reenacts all the scenes from "Fifty Shades of Grey", with a few added twists to them, you pretty much know how the story is going to end, which only makes the jokes and story that much more predictable.

- With how much "Fifty Shades of Grey" gives you to make fun of, it's amazing how much "Fifty Shades of Black" misses that opportunity completely.

Insert your own funny commentary here.
Insert your own funny commentary here.

Fifty shades of f**ked up....

While not quite as bad as the original film it was making fun of, but that doesn't mean I would recommend "Fifty Shades of Black" to anyone either. Like most modern day spoof movies, this one tends to not only reenact every scene of the damn film it's based on, but it does it with a lot of cutaway jokes as well. In fact, this movie has so many cutaway jokes that it could easily put "Family Guy" to shame, but I won't bother going there.

As most of my readers know, I usually try to judge each genre of film differently, and my main criteria to give a comedy a decent rating is to make me laugh. That's not too much to ask for right? Now before any of you accuse me of having my standards too high, I would like to remind some of my older readers that I was one of the few critics that openly admitted to liking such critically panned comedies like "Your Highness" and "A Million Ways to Die in the West", so I don't think my standards for a comedy is that high.

All I ask for is that you make me laugh. At least a chuckle here and there. Sadly, "Fifty Shades of Black" suffers from the fact that it's not funny. The jokes fall flat on their face, as you can see the punchline to each one coming from a mile away. Sure, the movie tries to shock you with some of it's humor, but a lot of it isn't that original. You get the S&M scenes referencing the waterboarding torture scandal, and they even give Christian Black (Marlon Wayans) a premature ejaculation problem that they exploit throughout the entire film.

In fact, they not only tell us how laughably small his p***is is, but they also show us exactly what his minuscule sized d**k looks like as well. Add in a few subtle twists to some of the reenacted scenes from "Fifty Shades of Grey", and you pretty much have a general idea on what "Fifty Shades of Black" is like. Although to be fair, the joke about Mr. Black reading the book, "Fifty Shades of Grey", to Hannah Steele (Kali Hawk) as a form of S&M torture was rather clever, but it still wasn't that funny.

It's a damn shame too because it's not like there haven't been clever parodies of "Fifty Shades of Grey" before on various youtube videos, and we're talking about a franchise that offers so much to work with considering there's a lot you can make fun of about it. Sadly, "Fifty Shades of Black" misses that opportunity completely, which is what the real crime about this film happens to be.

Marlon Wayans may not be a great actor, as he's always played himself in every movie that he's ever done, but he was great in such TV shows like "In Living Color" and "Wayans Bros."

However, he still continues to struggle in the movie business. Showing flashes of comedic brilliance in some films, while struggling to find his niche in others. Unfortunately for him, this one happens to fall within the ladder.

To be honest, I think Marlon Wayans needs to go back to TV. Maybe get together with his brothers to form another hit sketch comedy show; similar to his highly successful "In Living Color" series. I say this because I don't think he has a great career in movies.

In "Fifty Shades of Black", he comes off as the dorky guy that tries too hard to impress a girl rather than just being himself. Sure, you can tell he's trying, but it's sad to watch.

In all fairness though, "Fifty Shades of Black" may not be anywhere near the disaster that "Fifty Shades of Grey" was, but that's not saying much considering that even watching paint dry on a f**king wall would be more amusing than watching that stinker. Bottom line. Don't waste your time on "Fifty Shades of Black" either.

Comments

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    • Stevennix2001 profile imageAUTHOR

      Steven Escareno 

      2 years ago

      Damn straight

    • CYong74 profile image

      Kuan Leong Yong 

      2 years ago from Singapore

      I guess we could only say, we should have seen this coming.

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