Five Awesome Christmas Movies
Non Blu Ray Christmas Awesomeness
Yuletide Man Classics
It's that time of year. Time to gather around the fire, sing Christmas carols and embrace that yuletide spirit. Or, more likely, curl up in front of the flat screen and veg out on Christmas movies. We all have our favorites. I know that it's not Christmas in our house until A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation have been unleashed into our living room. But Christmas movies don't have to be traditional. They don't have to have special holiday meaning. Sometimes, they can simply be awesome. Here is a list of five awesome movies that somehow manage to spread Christmas cheer.
5. Gremlins. When Billy is given a Mogwai as a pet as an early Christmas present by his wacky inventor father, he only needs to remember three simple things to keep everything cute and cuddly. No sunlight, no getting wet and absolutely NO feeding him after midnight (I've always been a bit iffy about that one, what exactly constitutes the entire time frame of "after midnight"?) If the rules were followed, there wouldn't be much of a movie, would there. Before you know it, little monsters have been unleashed all over this unsuspecting town causing all sorts of mischief and mayhem. Throw in a young Corey Feldman dressed like a Christmas Tree and the disturbing story behind Phoebe Cates hatred of Christmas and you have a yuletide classic not to be missed!
4. Batman Returns. "A mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it." "A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it." And with those deep thoughts, the whirlwind romance of Batman and Catwoman kicks off with the backdrop of a wintry Christmas snow blanketing the crime ridden streets of fair Gotham. This movie shows us that unless you are Gotham's "Ice Princess", miracles do happen as Batman saves Gotham once again, this time from rocket toting penguins marching through the streets with the city's first born sons in wheeled circus animal cages. Bonus points for being the movie that introduced a young me to Christopher Walken and his patented high hair.
3.Die Hard 2: Die Harder. Though A Christmas Story alluded to the dangers of icicles, Die Harder gives us the graphic evidence. Whether you're into William Sadler tai chi-ing naked or watching Bruce Willis attempt to outsmart and outmatch Dennis Franz, there are plenty of cinematic Christmas gifts in this turbo charged seasonal action flick to keep any fan of the man called Bruno entertained. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice, he asks? A Christmas miracle, I say.
2. Lethal Weapon. Christmas gets hot in L.A. when Riggs teams up with perpetually retiring Murtaugh to bring down a guy even more insane than Mel Gibson (Gary Busey). Watch as Riggs grants a Christmas wish to a man bent on suicide by giving him the rush of a suicide leap without the annoyance of having to die as a result of it. Marvel at the gall of Murtaugh's family as they burst in on him taking a bath to surprise him with a cake! "Surprise dad! Oh, glad you're rocking the bubble bath or this could have been awkward!". Nothing makes my heart swell with the Christmas spirit more than drug dealers being given what for by Mel Gibson in a mullet.
1. Die Hard. Ah, Christmas. Traveling to see your kids, a company Christmas party, and Hans Gruber holding your estranged wife hostage in a high rise. It's fun to be John McClane. I don't know what's more awesome, jumping off the top of an exploding building with a fire hose wrapped around your chest or walking barefoot through broken shards of glass. Either way, it's more manly than anything I've accomplished in my entire existence. If you want a break from traditional Christmas fare when it comes to the subject of watching movies on your big screen, you could do worse than a movie where our hero spreads holiday cheer by writing "Now I have a Machine Gun. Ho Ho Ho." on the corpse of a terrorist.
Happy Holidays everybody! Make your Christmas an explosive one!