Five Stupid Lawsuits: You Don't Like It, Sue Me
Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement. But just between you and me, I promise you a biiiig cash settlement.
-Lionel Hutz, "Bart Gets Hit by a Car", the Simpsons (1991)
When I was a kid, a nearby neighbor was a medical drug distributor. A friend and I were doing what kids do, walking around and taking shortcuts through backyards, looking for something to occupy our ever-inquisitive minds. In the aforementioned neighbor's trashcans, we noticed all these little pieces of something, individually wrapped in clear cellophane, with more colors than a rainbow. Some were blue and some were red. Plus white, purple, orange tidbits everywhere.
“Look at all that candy,” we said. We had hit the mother lode. The big rock candy dustbin. And so we each ate a blue one. It didn't taste too good, but maybe the red ones would taste better. They didn't. Nor did the white, or the purple, or the orange. Damn! What kind of candy was this? They tasted terrible!
Still, ever onward we ate. I cannot for the life of me tell you what we were thinking. Having already established that they tasted bad, why eat more?
Almost the Last Supper
You know where this is going. I don't really remember too much else. My brother's voice calling me home for dinner. The walk down the block, not feeling so good. Sitting down at the dinner table and my mother looking at me and saying, “Chris...are you alright?” What I was told later was that at that point, my eyes rolled back in my head and I fell out of the chair in a stupor, like a 6 year-old drug addict finally hitting rock bottom, my tragic downward spiral of drug addiction--from the first gateway drug (a red one) to the hard stuff (an orange one)--lasting a whole 15 minutes. I was rushed to the hospital, my stomach was pumped, and I lived thanks to being called home for dinner.
My parents didn't sue. They weren't the suing type. Their attitude was that I had done a pretty stupid thing and what the heck was I doing eating stuff out of a garbage can anyway? The neighbor felt absolutely horrible about it and I think he still got into some trouble—reprimanded by the police and the company he worked for—but not on account of my parents. If they had sued it would have ruined that family's life. That's the problem nowadays. Nobody gives a rat's ass about the other guy so long as they stuff their own pockets with money. Incidentally, the kid next door had almost exactly the same reaction and experience and his parents didn't sue either.
Frivolous lawsuits are growing menace to doctors, insurance companies, corporations, businesses, and writers as well. And frivolous lawsuits and out of control lawyers harm every American, raising the cost of insurance, medical care, products and further stretching our already over-taxed legal system. That is why frivolous lawsuits piss me off. There are literally hundreds to choose from, but here are my five favorite dumb lawsuits. Incredible as they may seem, they are actual suits filed in a court of law. Read 'em, get pissed off, and laugh at what fools we have become.
Nut Job
A fella by the name of Kenneth Parker ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter. To his dismay, he received one jar of chunky and one jar of creamy. What's a peanut butter loving guy supposed to do when confronted with such incompetence and impertinence? Why, sue the state of Nevada, of course. Why the state of Nevada? Because he was incarcerated in their penal system at the time and had ordered the peanut butter (I said chunky, damn it!) from the prison kitchen.
I've been trying to spread this one on my sandwich. What was he going to do with that peanut butter? Wouldn't the creamy be better for that? Maybe the chunky has a “French tickler” effect or he just likes it rough. No word on whether his suit was successful. Hopefully the case was thrown out in a “Jif”.
This Buds for You
When I choose a beer I don't choose it because of its taste, but because of its advertising. I know if I drink the right brand I'll be living the good life, full of exciting things, lots of attractive friends, and boodles of beautiful women. One man thought so and sued Anheuser Busch for false advertising. The guy couldn't have been that stupid, so he must have been figuring on some easy money, and don't forget, a lawyer agreed.
When those bikini-clad girls failed to materialize and oil wrestle right in front of his very eyes there was a little sound inside his head, a small, desperate snap - or maybe it was the ching of a cash register. Fortunately, the judge was of sound mind and threw the case out.
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Just about everyone has had a relationship go bad where you just had to get out of it. The earlier, the better. If, however, you come to this realization late in the relationship, say, after you are engaged, it's still better to put it out of its misery before the wedding. Isn't it? Not for one man, it wasn't. He broke off his seven-week engagement and she didn't like it. She didn't like it at all, so she sued him and she sued him good.
She won. $178,000 dollars. The jury awarded her $93,000 for pain and suffering: $25,000 for her psychiatrist, and $60,000 for loss of income from...you're gonna love this—her legal practice! She was herself a lawyer! She took the break-up hard. If the guy knew she took things that hard he might gone through with the wedding.
Ride the Wave, Dude
Picture this. You're on the beach and it's a bitchin' day, man, and the surf is choka and you're amped, man, and you know the big one's gonna come today and you're not gonna be a frube or clucked, no, you're gonna ride that sucker so all the Gidgets will see and just when you're ready to catch it and hang 10, some jerk DROPS IN! Yea. He steals your wave! Oh the humanity! What's a surfer dude to do?
Well this surfer dude sued the wave-stealer surfer dude for pain and suffering for “taking his wave.” True. Fortunately, no one could decide just how much pain and suffering their was in watching your wave—sent to you personally by the volcano Gods—being ridden by some other surfer, so the case was dismissed. And the other guy got all the Gidgets, too.
Suddenly He Liked Barbara Striesand
In Michigan, a 27 year-old man was involved in a rear-end collision. He only suffered minor injuries. Four years later he changed his mind and sued the owners of the truck that hit him. He now claimed that the accident caused his sexual relations with his wife to deteriorate and he was unable to maintain their sex life. The crash had changed his personality forever, he said, and in fact, the collision had turned him into a homosexual. He left his wife, moved in with his parents, began hanging out in gay bars, and became a fervent reader of gay literature. So, he got rear-ended and then he got rear-ended. He won his case and was awarded $200,000 dollars. The jury threw in $25,000 thousand for the wife.
And Thomas Jefferson Wept
When these kinds of cases clog up our legal system, when people bring these stupid lawsuits, when lawyers actually bring the cases to court and win, something is seriously messed up. And in the end, if you are sued and win, you have still spent a fortune, so you're darn near ruined one way or the other. I think when these people bring these frivilous lawsuits and lose, they should be punished and punished with impunity. The lawyers even more so. Maybe then people will think twice before using the courts to ransack sombody's bank account.
Or maybe I feel that way because I'm not getting in on the action. I'm not riding the gravy train. The money is just growing on trees out there in the land of legal make-believe and all I gotta do is pick it off.
You can do it too. We both can do it. All we need is something to sue about, and there are no reasons too absurd or too hurtful. There's a pot of gold at the end of the justice system rainbow and I'm gonna be there. I'm only missing one thing: Anybody know a good shyster lawyer?
Wierd Al Yankovic "I'll Sue Ya'"
Two NY Teenagers Sue McDonald's
Comments
It amazes me that these law suits can happen yet I was actually injured in a restaurant parking lot causing a major infection in my leg and torn ligaments and costing me thousands and couldn't get a lawyer to take the case or the restaurant to pay my medical bills because I didn't file an incident report with the restaurant the night it happened and it is within the restaurant's rights to have an unlit, unmarked step down into their parking lot as long as the concrete isn't crumbling and causing a falling hazard. I didn't know I had to file an incident report, the employees should have known that and informed me and not a single employee came outside to even see if I was alright. Instead they all stood and watched through a double glass door. A customer inside waiting on his food came outside to help me. I was asking for nothing more than getting my medical bills paid and still couldn't get any legal help.
- AUTHOR
Shayna89: Glad you found it funny and had a laugh! I appreciate your comment!
Ha ha! That was very interesting...i enjoyed that! People just pull lawsuits out their butts at times. Its ridiculous. Thanks for making it a laugh! :D
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Wildbird: I agree. There should be some punitive action against people who file these ridiculous lawsuits - especially prisoners! Thanks for the comment.
Its like that jerk who sued McDonalds and Burger King blamming them for his obesity and ended up having it thrown out Its like these three convicts who sued the state becuase their cake and cookies were soggy this lawsuit was also tossed out THEY SHOULD GIVE THOSE THREE CONVICTS 10 EXTRA YEARS FOR FILING THIS STUPID LAWSUIT
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Freida. There are all kinds of things that maybe the answers to "my issues," but you're right it was a different world back then, and litigation is one area where the difference is a polar opposite. glad you enjoyed it and thanks so much for the compliments!
Awesome hub. Love Weird Al by the way. Suing has gotten so ridiculous. My parents weren't the suing kind either. If I got hur in someone's yard, that was that. I had to deal with it and move on (I was never stupid enough to eat candy from a trash can -- which by the way may be the answer to some of your issues?). My parents weren't scared of being sued, either because just about nobody did that kind of stuff. Now though, I bite my nails every time a child come over to play, or a worker comes over to fix something, cause you just never know, even if you think you did. Great hub yet again, Christoph. Love it!
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Of course not. And it wouldn't be fun. And it would probably make me run away. But look! I'm not running. No, Ma'am.
Hmmm...not that easily, after all, what would be the fun in that?
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What flattery? Who flattered? Yes, I think you would win the eye-batting contest. Well, I'll be the toast if you'll be the jam; sweet, tasty, spreads easil.....Oh wait! I didn't mean that!
Flattery will get you everywhere, Christoph! I think between your lawyers and mine, we can come to some sort of arrangement. Of course, I could just innocently bat my eyes at the judge, and after that, you might be toast.
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Shady Lady: You may be onto something there. I can help you "from the inside" for a small share of the bounty! I think my lawyers are related to your lawyers: 1-800-GET-EVEN. Maybe the judge and jury will go easy on me because I broke your ribs by making you laugh and not by using you as a punching bag. But how could I ever intentially break the ribs of anyone as beautiful as you. You enter a court room and heads turn. Now, about that lawsuit...
Randy: It was just my response last night to what you wrote last night, "going to take a bubble bath...", etc. I just fawned all over you is all, and when someone does that they expect some response...some signal that says it's "Ok to fawn over you" or "stop fawning all over me." Otherwise, the person (me, in this case) is just stranded in a row boat without a compass.
You think Shady Lady is as funny as me? Damn. She sure looks a hell of a lot better!
Theresa: Take a deep breath. Thats funny. Don't worry, you're not missing anything. See you somewhere else!
OK, I don't even know why I'm leaving a comment. I started scrolling through all the above, and forget what the hub was about. I do know that it wasn't about Misty's cigars. Or bumps.
So, Christoph: glad I'm here. It must have been a really good hub, to have elicited all this fuss. If I remember in a day or two I'll come back -- but I sure as hell ain't scrolling back through all this here comentatin'. Maybe I'll just leave ya a note in another hub. Bye!
What? huh? I got nothin! Send it again regular, my f'n fb is busted or something!
ps Shady Lady is as funny as you, better watch her.
I agree on the frivolous lawsuits, but I am sorry to have to say this. I am currently filing a lawsuit against you, as I type this. You are being sued for broken ribs caused by my laughing too hard at your hubs! My 1-800-LAWYERS lawyer assures me that I have a good case against you.
I found him from a tv ad. He said that his goal for this year was to win his clients a combined total of $50,000,000 this year. I realize his only goal is to line his own pockets, but seeing that I am new here, and I haven't started to make any money yet, I feel that this is a quicker alternative. Please await your papers and I will see you in court.
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Randy: You're killing me. You've been feeling lepperish? Ha, ha! I'm surprised you haven't hit me with a baseball bat and told me to back off yet! Have I neglected you on fb too? You know, it's a two-way street. You didn't touch what I wrote to you last night. And it was important to me.
No worries. I can dish it out if you can take it. Are you sure you're ready for the leprosy cure! Brace yourself! Here I come, Sweets!
ya (yes i did publish something)
fb (facebook)
been feeling lepperish.
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You forgot to give me the code to decipher what you just said.
ya, or fb.
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Randy: No. Of course not. Did you just publish something? I'll go look, but there isn't a message in my email that you have published something. Is that what you're talking about?
Too busy to read me?
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Randy: It's one of my peeves too. You put it perfectly when you wrote: "it's just embarassing to be human." How true!
Chris, This is one of my all time pet peeves. Thanks for turning it into something to laugh about. Sometimes its just embarrasing to be a human.
Dear Mr. Reilly,
I shall endeavour to be less opaque in the future.
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LondonGirl: Dear Editor: You had me confused. I did not use the cigar story, and could not figure out what you were referring to. Finally, I found that you are referring to a comment left by mistyhorizon2003. In the future, please be more specific in your correction notes to me. I am but a humble writer and cannot keep pace with the keen mind of an Editor, especially one with such a big red pen. E.g., you might have began: "Mistyhorizon2003 refers to a lawsuit involving cigar in the comment section above....." and so forth.
Thank you for "dumbing down" for my benefit.
The cigar story might be funny, but it's an urban myth, sorry!
Dont' we have better things to do!!!!! It does get ridiculous. I'm still thinking about the wave stealer. Talk about being in the wrong place and the wrong time when all he wanted was a little fun.
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Peggy W: Thanks for stopping by and the comment. Your granddad sounds like granddad's are supposed to be: a good example to his family and a sense of humor about life. In the "hot coffee" case, a guy did the same thing to Starbucks and won. Then a guy tried to do it to McDonalds again, only this time with a shake. It was so cold, it caused him to lose control of his car and crash. He lost.
Thanks!
Thanks to Countrywoman for leading me to this site! Great comments about ridiculous lawsuits, Christoph. I also come from a family that is not so inclined to sue at the drop of a hat.
Once my grandfather was in the hospital as a patient and a piece of ceiling tile fell on his head temporarily trapping him in the bathroom. Did he sue? Of course not. He kidded for years later that "it was a good thing that he had a hard head."
Other such examples in my family I am proud to say.
Remember the incident of the woman successfully suing and winning a huge award over hot coffee being spilled in her lap? Wonder if she now only wants COLD COFFEE?
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yxhuang: Glad you stopped by and enjoyed the article. I think this is mainly a thing here in the US, with other countries not even entertaining such nonsense.
MM: You know, you probably could've sued your Dad if it was today (and the store for the temptation of putting that stuff right were a child can see it.) I confessed to my Mom once that I had stolen a pack of gum from Mr. Jenkins' store--an old-fashioned drug store with a soda counter and everything--5 years prior to my confession. She made me go in, confess, and make restitution. Mr. Jenkins was really nice about it, but I bitched to my mom about inflation and interest. I mean, it was only a dime when I stole it and I had to give back a quarter! The injustice!
So about spankings, I have one in mind that in today's world would have made for a supreme lawsuit...the day I got spanked. I only got one spanking in my whole growing up life (ones you get as an adult don't count right?), and I will go to my grave saying it was an unfounded injustice based on a verbal misunderstanding!
On that fated day, I walked to a small market with my dad. Once we were in the store, he said, "Pick out a piece of candy Pam." So I did, and then I popped it in my mouth. Halfway back home, he saw me chopping on the candy and asked what was in my mouth. I told him it was the candy he told me to pick out at the store. Hell broke loose, and he yelled, "You stole candy??" I said, "Um, no sir, you told me to pick one out, so I did, and now it's in my mouth."
That's the day I learned what stealing meant...my behind learned a big lesson about it too because I got one of those bare skin butt whoopings. But that wasn't nearly as bad as the walk back home knowing what was going to happen and feeling like he had accused me unfairly. I mean, it's not like he said, "Pick out a piece of candy and we'll pay for it." How was I supposed to know? ;) lol!
Yep, I shoulda sued him. ;)
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MM: I am fine but Pepe is feeling low. He says you never let him give you massages anymore. Yes, I have not been in sync. Just several outside writing projects and...other things.
You reminded me, in my experience as an actor and commercial guy, I knew a few people (men included) who made small fortunes as hand models. Now that's a good hand job!
Thanks for stopping in, MM. Peace on earth and joy to everyone named 'Aneeda Log-in!'
I found this article extremely funny to me. The above lawsuits will hardly happen to Chinese people. Great job!
Hey CR/Pepe! How are you, my friend? You seem to be on a completely different schedule from everyone else. Come to think of it, no one seems to be in synch these days anymore whatsoever.
Hand jobs -- well let's see how a Mom would explain such a thing. When you have really nice, well cared-for hands and someone notices, they suggest you'd be good for a hand job. And so you show them what your beautiful hands can do. And if your hands perform better than anyone else's you get the honor of the best hand job. What I like (as a Mother) is that hand-jobs are not a sexist thing at all. Girls and boys can equally get them. The key, if you're interested in this line of work, is to practice so you'll be really, really good.
BTW, in high school, my best friend's unfortunate name was Anita Logan. Needless to say....
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CW: Spankings? My mother chased me around with a bullwhip. No kidding! And I was the good kid!
Christoph- I have no secrets or skeletons in the cupboard. My brother when he was really small used to do annoying things and get spankings from mom(which I am sure you must have got since you seem to be very naughty too). I was mostly well behaved elder sister to my little naughty bro (but I so much love his naughtiness). I was just trying to address your unsuppressable curiosity which might get you into trouble if not sooner than later...LOL
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Hi, MM: How you be? I am late to the party, which is my habit of late. Hand jobs? What's a hand job, Mommy?
Hello, hello! I am just catching up on a most intersting thread. Birthday bumps, lady bumps/lumps, CR as a majestic lion and CW as an elegant swan (I'm liking this as a potential thread for later: what animal is everyone!).
I was over learning about hand jobs. Now I'm heading out but definitely am in a partay mood so let me know where all y'all will be hanging later. Woo hoo! Hub crawling!!!
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Hey! I missed it again! How are you Grendy? And CW, you keep talking about spankings. I think maybe CW has a secret! Naughty, naughty.
Thanks for that compliment. I too miss you all and whenever I feel like taking some fresh air I peep in to get the company of my hubber friends. Looking forward to that hub and have a great day.
CW, I might write a hub but probably not about traveling, because I always seem to forget my camera when I go. I don't know what I might write about, but maybe something will come up. See ya later and have a great day. I hope you don't cut down too much. I would miss your smiling face.
Write a hub about some of the places you visited with some pictures. I love travel hubs and also you may get some more traffic (revenue). I do check in the office HP but now planning to cut down a little as sometimes I feel it may be a bit too addictive / distracting....LOL
I guess everybody has been busy or ill and not able to be on very much. Or maybe I just have too much time on my hands lately. I should be using that time to do something constructive, but there is no fun in that.
I guess he is still getting spanking. Naughty boy but never the less a cute naughty boy...hehe
I think he must have done a post and run.
He was getting way too curious about something("bumps") and then he said what he usually gets for looking out for them ("spanking")
Glad to see you too. Hope you had a great birthday and nice gifts.
When did that happen? Shame CR! LOL. Good to see you CW.
Christoph isn't doing too well. He just got a spanking from his wife for being too naughty...LOL
well what great timimg we have CR, I was just checking in and there you go posting. How are you today?
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Misty: Oh...those bumps.
LOL Christoph, I will give you a tiny clue about my kind of 'bumps', every women has two of them and men are usually obsessed with them :)
Only MOM's are allowed to do that (spanking). Or maybe even your wife if you are being too naughty...hehe
I wish I was an elegant swan floating all day in the water with not a care in the world (P.S: I love swimming a lot)..LOL
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CW: No, I understood your "bumps." But are those the same kind Misty was referring to? We do not have these "bumps" on our birthdays. We do however give spanks, one per year of age. Thanks for Majestic Lion. You are an Elegant Swan.
Christoph- Suppose some one is 16 years old then their would be a guy holding the person's two hands and another holding his two legs then lift both his legs/hands simultaneously and make his bottom hit ground 16 times then he would have 16 bumps.
Btw you are not a "old goat" but a MAJESTIC LION whom we all like a lot.
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Gwendy, Misty, Countrywomen: Hi all. Sorry I missed all the fun. You gals had quite a conversation. I still can't figure out what "bumps" are. Could someone please explain it to and naïve, old goat? Well, hope to run into you later. See ya's!
Or possibly Rockinjoe's hub https://hubpages.com/entertainment/How-To-Get-a-Gr...
He too is still online and up for a giggle. :)
Try goldentoad's hub Gwendy https://hubpages.com/entertainment/She-thinks-Im-a...
He is up for a laugh and still online :)
Well CW, I guess it's too late for cindy. I am not really sure what to do now. I should have gotten on earlier but I was busy loading my new MP3 player with some of my favorite songs and baking chocolate chip cookies for my son.
Have a great dinner CW!
Thanks Cindy!
Night Night all, sweet dreams to you too whenever bedtime hits where you are :)
Yes Lavender works really well CW, I swear by the stuff.
Ok I will also go to have some dinner and have a great time Gwendy (hopefully christoph turns up soon for you).
Good night Cindy and have good relaxing restful sleep (I have lavender sprayed on my pillow which is excellent for good sleep)
Cindy- I know for sure since it has worked so wonderfully on you.
Gwendy- You are the birthday girl you can suggest some party ideas unless it is too late for Cindy to go to bed now.
Ok, have a good night! Sweet dreams to you!
Well, not wanting to be boring, but I need to go to bed now. It is 04.03am here in Guernsey, yawn. Will have to catch up tomorrow night instead. Sorry!
So girls, what kind of trouble should we cause tonight? Anyone got any suggestions?
Absolutely CW, and it works, trust me :)
Yup you told me earlier (if you can't beat them join them)..LOL
I think we were forced to just laugh it off, or die of embarrassment CW :)
Cindy- I guess that makes even girls be less shy compared to boys even from a young age...hehe
I wish your body cooperates with that sweet sixteen heart of yours forever(sort of like mind over body)...hehe
LOL CW, that never stopped the other kids at our school giving you the bumps whether you wanted them or not, no matter what you were wearing. Very embarrassing!!!
When I was small my father used to innovate the bumps by throwing me in the air and catching me (I used to so love it and unfortunately by the time I was 7/8 I was heavier for him to do it anymore). But the reason girls didn't have that custom was we wear skirts and not modest enough when even boys are present in the party...hehe
CW, I can handle acting like sweet sixteen forever, now if I could get my body to cooperate I'd be doing good!
LOL CW, I do know what 'the bumps' really are, only here in the UK we girls used to get them too when we were young, especially at school. I was merely joking around in my usual warped way when I suggested Gwendy might already have 'bumps' of her own.
Don't you know we women stop growing at 16 (and forever be sweet sixteen and act like one what do you say?)..hehe
LOL, sounds like they were having a good time. I am at the age that I don't like my birthdays anymore, I have just refused to get any older!
Yes it is fun as a child not when you are hitting late teens when one gets one too many...hehe
But surprisingly guys don't seem to mind it and have more fun doing that and also things like putting cake on the face or coke pouring on their heads as a shampoo (My mom would get so agitated with such parties)...LOL
wow, I am very glad I am not a male from India!
Cindy- I don't know whether you are aware since in India my brother used to have his friends hold his hands and feet's (and his back had to hit the ground the number of times he is the age that year). He would just say I will get back to you guys on your birthday. Girls luckily aren't subject to the same customs in India...hehe
Misty, I think they might be considered lumps.
Where the heck has everyone gone? Ag, Spryte, Aj, MM, Shades, Pam and CR are all MIA. Dang them. They need to get their butts here! Kinda hard to party when Shades is supposed to bring the beer.
Hasn't Gwendy got 'bumps' of her own already? :) (smiles innocently)
Hey CW, Glad to see you and Misty up and ready to party!!! Yep, I'm up for it!!!
Cindy- Atleast two of us are around to give gwendy birthday greetings (If their were guys around they would give birthday bumps...Gwendy are you up for it?)...LOL
Ty Misty and to you too. Maybe we can get a few more to join in and have some fun. I need a little entertainment.
Hi Gwendy, I am around for a short while, but must go to bed soon as it is 03.20am here. Happy Birthday again :) :)
Ok guys. Here I am ready to get my birthday groove on and I don't seem to find many of you guys on? Geez! Don't make me get out my pocket planner and set appointments to get on here and hang out with you guys. Why is everyone so busy? I wonder if it has to do with Christmas? Well I'll be checking in every so often. Hope you guys are all well, hope to see you soon!
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday Dear Gwendy
Happy Birthday To You
May the good God bless you
May the good God bless you
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday Dear Gwendy
Happy Birthday To You
(After singing the above song then we all are clapping our hands. Now Gwendy is blowing the candle and then cutting the cake of course Christoph gets the lion's share of the cake)
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Happy Biiiirthday to Gwendymommm. Happy Biiiirthday to Gwendymommm. Happy Biiiirthday dear Gwendymommm. Happy Biiiiirthday to youuuuu!
I wish Gwendy a very happy birthday. May God bless you with Health, Wealth and Happiness this year and years to come
http://www.cakecarousel.com/cakecarousel/images/pr...
Click below to hear my birthday song and just pretend Iam there in Oklahoma and singing for you.
Oh G-mom. You can't fool us. We know that "I'm going to bed" is a euphemism for "I'm going to bed with my husband for some serious birthday sheet wrestling." Yeah, you bet we want to hear all about it! Happy Birthday!!! We'll leave the shower on for ya.
Hey guys, I am so sorry to inform you all that I just am not able to participate in the group shower tonight. I think the weekend caught up with me and I am exhausted. I am going to go to bed but maybe I will recuperated and we can try again tomorrow. I will tell you guys all about my day then. Sweet dreams all!!!!
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Gwendy: Howdy! I am fine, thanks for asking. I've been really busy and unable to get on Hubpages lately, at least for very long. Anyway, the shower is ready so y'all just let me know and I'll be ready! I hope to run into you later!
Pam: Yea, I figured that's what happened. It's a crappy thing to do, but pretty damn clever! Now, the rest of people with the same insurance company can pay for it with higher rates. (If it was just the insurance co., I probably wouldn't mind so much. I am not a fan of insurance co's.)
Jim: The warning labels can be absurd! I like it when items are clearly poison's, the warning label says "Do Not Drink." That's' good, because once I was going to drink some Drano 'cause I was thirsty. Good thing I read that label! Thanks for stopping by and your funny comment!
MM: Hope you didn't have an accident. Eric Graudins! That's funny! Read it and substitute "Eric Graudins" for "McDonald's food" And it still works! (No offense, Eric, it's all MM's fault!)
*enters singing hopefully only slightly off-key*
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear G-Mom, you deserve everything you get today and all year too... and I hope you don't have to sue ... because I like you ... and know you're true blue ... ok, that'll do....
Time to head out and risk being in a car accident. Assuming I make it back safely, I will see you all tonight. Hubjacking, perhaps!???
P.S. Great McDonad's pic. For a brief minute I thought it said Eric Graudins:-)
This sue happy way of life is cluttering my vision with ridiculous signs and warnings on everything. Coffee cups warn me that they are hot. When it rains out grocery stores put up signs that the floor is wet when you walk in. Plastic bags have pictures of kids with plastic bags over their heads and say choking hazard. Duraflame logs say risk of fire. I believe most chainsaws say don't try to stop blade with your hand. Tesco milk containers warn that they contain milk. It is sad that there are people out there that need these warnings.
LOL Christoph at the Yogi comment!
What you mentioned is exactly what happened, his insurance had to pay (and they paid big), then they dumped him, which was perfectly fine because his wife had plenty of money from the lawsuit to go find another insurance company to cover both of them again. ;) It's funny and bad all at the same time.
Gwendy, tell us about your special day. I love birthdays...it's the only day of the year you can celebrate yourself. :D
Awww you guys are just the sweetest people ever!!!! I love you all! Spryte, I hope you get better soon, we need you back here. I miss the group too. Where is Agvulpes and Shades? We need some hubjacking action, and soon. I am having terrible withdrawls and need something to ease my pain.
Christoph, How are you sweety? I hope you can get on here and everyone else and let's do something fun, like a group shower for instance. hey CR, is your shower ready? MM, do you still have the soap on a rope? AJ and Ag, you think you guys can make the drive in time? Shades, instead of battling your wife for shower time buy her some flowers, take her for a nice meal and get your spinal cord and beer over to CR's.
- AUTHOR
Sixty: I thought this orgy of lawsuits was pretty much a US thing. Interesting that it happens in SA too. Thank you for the comment!
Pam: Hi, Pam. Maybe I did have an angel watching over me. (Haven't seen one around here lately, though. Guess I chased them off years ago.) I had no concept of near-death at the time. As Yogi Berra might have said: "Dead? I didn't even know I was sick!)
The couple you mention is very interesting. Actually, that could be clever. His insurance has to pay the judgement, of course, so they get a big chunk of money and his rates go up (or the insurance company possibly dumps him as a customer). Hmmmm. I'm getting an idea. I'll get back to you.
Thanks for the comment!
Aw SHOOT! I mean...Happy Birthday Gwendy!!
That's it, I'm restricting my hub activites until after I have at least 2 cups of coffee. ;)
Mort the Tort! ROFL! :D I nearly spewed my coffee like a fountain over that one.
I love this hub Christoph. First, how lucky you are after that garbage can pill buffet experience. An angel must have been ringing that dinner bell. ;)
I really enjoyed reading these lawsuits, and you're right, things have changed big time. I often wonder why it's so hard for some people to win a lawsuit when they really deserve it while others win for the most idiotic reasons. : /
I know/knew a couple who were in a car accident, they hit a tree, she developed neck pain, then she sued her husband for a fistful of money and won. Go figure.
Happy Birthday MM! :D
Greta hub CR I also think the "I'll sue" syndrome has become totally unreal even in our country. It seeems that the more freedoms in a society, the more litigious it becomes. But dont try to sue doctor or a surgeon in South Africa, they close ranks on you, even when they have obviously erred. I heard a similar tale to your one above except the robber slipped on a rug and fell down stairs, injuring himself. He was arrested, convicted, but sued because the slippery floor and carpet were dangerous and he apparently won the case from Jail!
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