Forgotten Childhood Icons
We all were children once, as long ago as it may seem. Every now and then I am reminded of that golden age when I believed in magic. A time when I had heroes. And looking back, I can only come to one conclusion . . .
I was a weirdo.
But I bet you were too. Let's take a look:
Teddy Ruxpin, a teddy bear with an ancient map on a quest for magic crystals. Who comes up with this stuff?
I'll never forget the giant caterpillar beach bums, and the huge waves they surfed upon. My irrational fear of tidal waves can be traced back to this.
Rainbow Bright was an intergalactic nymphet in a mini skirt that heroically fought to save colors , which were apparently in grave danger.
She went on to become the poster child of raving candy kids everywhere.
I mean let's be honest, who does their hair like that? It's like a military mullet in teal.
I always felt bad for the kid with the power of “heart”. Everybody else could move mountains and summon hurricane winds, and all he could do was talk about feelings with that monkey.
Notice "heart" is the only power that doesn't even help in the introduction . . .
I must confess, I still think Treasure Trolls are cool. They had precious gems in their belly buttons!
This is probably the only type of belly ornamentation I can endorse in good conscience.
The Busy World of Richard Scarry
Richard Scarry’s town was full of strange, wide-eyed French anthropomorphic animals. Why were their tongues always hanging out?
Cabbage Patch Kids
What the heck was this about? Mothers literally assaulted one another in toy stores over these chubby faced dolls. Cabbage Patch Kids were born from cabbage and rescued from a hard life of labor in the gold mine of an evil old woman. Naturally.
Also worth noting was the temporary line of “snacking” dolls, whose mechanical mouths would eat plastic food. Unfortunately they also ate the fingers and hair of unsuspecting children.