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Same Funny mental quotes and jokes about Everything

Updated on January 7, 2011

Funny things to wonder about..

1. I often wonder if a cat always lands on his feet and if bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tie buttered bread to a cats back?

2. Why do bras and batteries come in the same size?

3. If alcohol kills germs then getting drunk should be the solution to being sick.

4. Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

5. Superheroes get to wear there underwear on the outside. If a regular person did it, they wouldn't be worshipped and admired. They would be locked up.

Adult humor

1. Words men hate, "stop", "no", and "dont", unless used as "no don't stop".

2. Do you know what chairs think about all day? Oh great here comes another asshole.

3. Wife buys crotchless undies to spice up her lovelife, puts them on and says to hubby, "want some of this?"F**k no" says hubby, look what its done to your undies.

4. I think your a supercalifannylickingpenispullingpervert.

5. Saw a naked woman running down my street. I rolled down my window and asked her why she was running down the street naked. she said "Because you're home early!"

6. \UU/ you've just been flashed. Now where the hell are my beads?

Blonde jokes

 1. Without blonde moments the world would be full of smart people and boring.

2. A blond walks into the dry cleaners & drops off her dress, as she is leaving, the owner says, "Come again." she then replies, "No, it was toothpaste this time."

3. Red head tells a blond i did it with a Brazilian man, Blond says ugh you tramp! how many is a Brazilian?

4. A brunet says to a blonde "look! A dead bird!" the blonde looks up and says "Where?"

5. Did you hear about the blond applied for a job and where it said "emergency contact number" she put 911

Funny jokes about Men

1. MEN cause all problems for women!! ITS A FACT!! MENstural cycle, MENopause, MENtal illness, MENtal breakdown and GUYnecologist!!!

2. I think men are like public toilets... their either engaged, dirty, falling down or full of shit.

3. I wonder why they spend all that money sending one men to the moon why not send them all.

4. why do men snore when they sleep on their backs?.. because their balls drop over their a**holes and block the airway to the brain...

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    • profile image

      Luvuyo 6 years ago

      Da 1 about men

    • profile image

      puspak nepal 6 years ago

      nice speech.

    • profile image

      Alex 6 years ago

      This one is awesome))))))))

      MEN cause all problems for women!! ITS A FACT!! MENstural cycle, MENopause, MENtal illness, MENtal breakdown and GUYnecologist!!!

    • Ladybird33 profile image

      Ladybird33 7 years ago from Fabulous USA

      hehe, these were funny! Thanks and I enjoyed them!

    • kmackey32 profile image

      kmackey32 7 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      cliches? Whats that mean? I'm blonde ya know... lol

    • David 470 profile image

      David 470 7 years ago from Pennsylvania, United States

      haha those were pretty good some of which are cliches.

    • Skaditch profile image

      Skaditch 7 years ago from Los Angeles

      Ha! That was pretty funny.