ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Same Funny mental quotes and jokes about Everything

Updated on January 7, 2011

Funny things to wonder about..

1. I often wonder if a cat always lands on his feet and if bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tie buttered bread to a cats back?

2. Why do bras and batteries come in the same size?

3. If alcohol kills germs then getting drunk should be the solution to being sick.

4. Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

5. Superheroes get to wear there underwear on the outside. If a regular person did it, they wouldn't be worshipped and admired. They would be locked up.

Adult humor

1. Words men hate, "stop", "no", and "dont", unless used as "no don't stop".

2. Do you know what chairs think about all day? Oh great here comes another asshole.

3. Wife buys crotchless undies to spice up her lovelife, puts them on and says to hubby, "want some of this?"F**k no" says hubby, look what its done to your undies.

4. I think your a supercalifannylickingpenispullingpervert.

5. Saw a naked woman running down my street. I rolled down my window and asked her why she was running down the street naked. she said "Because you're home early!"

6. \UU/ you've just been flashed. Now where the hell are my beads?

Blonde jokes

 1. Without blonde moments the world would be full of smart people and boring.

2. A blond walks into the dry cleaners & drops off her dress, as she is leaving, the owner says, "Come again." she then replies, "No, it was toothpaste this time."

3. Red head tells a blond i did it with a Brazilian man, Blond says ugh you tramp! how many is a Brazilian?

4. A brunet says to a blonde "look! A dead bird!" the blonde looks up and says "Where?"

5. Did you hear about the blond applied for a job and where it said "emergency contact number" she put 911

Funny jokes about Men

1. MEN cause all problems for women!! ITS A FACT!! MENstural cycle, MENopause, MENtal illness, MENtal breakdown and GUYnecologist!!!

2. I think men are like public toilets... their either engaged, dirty, falling down or full of shit.

3. I wonder why they spend all that money sending one men to the moon why not send them all.

4. why do men snore when they sleep on their backs?.. because their balls drop over their a**holes and block the airway to the brain...

ATTENTION: you have reached the very last page of the Internet. I hope you enjoyed your browsing, now turn off your computer and go outside.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Luvuyo 6 years ago

      Da 1 about men

    • profile image

      puspak nepal 6 years ago

      nice speech.

    • profile image

      Alex 6 years ago

      This one is awesome))))))))

      MEN cause all problems for women!! ITS A FACT!! MENstural cycle, MENopause, MENtal illness, MENtal breakdown and GUYnecologist!!!

    • Ladybird33 profile image

      Ladybird33 7 years ago from Fabulous USA

      hehe, these were funny! Thanks and I enjoyed them!

    • kmackey32 profile image
      Author

      kmackey32 7 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      cliches? Whats that mean? I'm blonde ya know... lol

    • David 470 profile image

      David 470 7 years ago from Pennsylvania, United States

      haha those were pretty good some of which are cliches.

    • Skaditch profile image

      Skaditch 7 years ago from Los Angeles

      Ha! That was pretty funny.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)