GCB -- Blast From The Past
It seems like everyone was getting a blast from the past, this week, and in most cases it wasn't pleasant.
Pastor Tudor was spying on his old rival, Reverend Steve, swiping his church literature. It seems he'd lost some parishioners to Reverend Steve's church and he wanted to find out what he was offering that Pastor Tudor wasn't.
Amanda gets the idea to put on a church show featuring an old play Heather wrote in high school. This incites Cricket and Carlene's rivalry to be the lead singer of the musical. Unfortunately, while Cricket is performing [she actually sang a lot better at Bitsy's funeral then she sings here] Carlene and Rip [with a boom box] come upstaging Cricket and ruining her audition. Carlene gets cast as the Holy Spirit, which is the lead, while Cricket gets cast as a leper.
You know, maybe Amanda could have found something aside a leper to cast Cricket as. Much was made about later making Carlene a leper it was a dig at her bad skin condition in high school, but Amanda spread a lie in high school that Cricket had Herpes. Isn't casting Cricket as a leper just a reminder to Cricket of what Amanda did to her in high school? Anyway, Cricket refuses to play the leper and takes all her fancy toys she brought with her to enhance her chances at getting the lead when she goes.
Rip isn't too thrilled when his boom box carrying for Carlene during Cricket's audition gets him named Jesus in the play, while Blake gets to be Lazarus. Okay, the funniest and best scene of the night for me was when they were doing the scene where Jesus resurrects Lazarus and Blake bursts out of this mummy like wrapping in what looks a lot like a toga and he starts strutting all over the place singing Barry Manilow's Miracle to Rip's Jesus. I also wondered with how short the outfit was if Rip got a view of Blake's package.
Anyway, Amanda decides they need all of Cricket's gadgets so she embraces Old Amanda and cuts a deal with Cricket. Cricket gets to be the Holy Spirit and Carlene gets to be the leper. This sends Carlene into a tizzy. She thinks Amanda is trying to remind her of the skin condition she had in high school. Carlene, no frail little Magnolia Blossom, who isn't well versed in the way of getting what she wants and how to play the game, goes to Heather. She basically tells Heather unless she's the lead, she'll take all the business she sends Heather's way, elsewhere. Heather, in turn, rewrites the play, and makes the leper the stay of the play.
This causes Bad Amanda or Real Amanda to rear her ugly head and it's like everyone's back in high school with insults flying and the result is everyone quits the play. Amanda realizes she was making the play more about showing everyone how much she changed, instead of to help the church. To rectify the situation and save the play, Amanda meets with The Plastics in her old cheerleader outfit and tells them to write the wrongs of the past and to let them go they can throw mud on her. It works. And thanks to Rip who rallied all the other players together, the show goes on.
There is one hitch, however. Since the harness that allows the Holy Spirit to fly has been calibrated for Cricket's weight, it malfunctions causing Carlene to careen all over the place. Including smashing and breaking the church's stained glass window. Every the trooper, Carlene ends the performance on her feet, acting like nothing had gone wrong, with a big smile on her face.
In the audience, Reverend Steve is filming Carlene's performance. It seems the Pastor's rival may have some plans for Miss Carlene. Perhaps to lure her away from the Pastor's church and get her to become a member of his church. Seems like some high school rivalries never die.
Sharon managed to stay out of all of the church hijinks because she was working on marketing her Jesus meals. She went to Gigi, who used to train girls to appear in beauty pageants.Sharon wanted to help prepare her for an appearance on a local home shopping network program to sell her product. Only all the stuff Gigi gets Sharon to do makes her appearance a total flop. Sharon confides to Gigi this isn't just some lark, this is her family's bread-and-butter because the car dealership is going down the drain. So Gigi advises Sharon to be herself and when she goes back out to try again, she's a success. Only problem is she sells so many of her meals she doesn't know how she's going to be able to make that many.