Greg Sage and His Possibly Unhealthy Relationship with a Petite Lap Giraffe
Basically, what we have here is an animal rights issue. Okay? I mean, really.
This little lap giraffe named Jerry didn't ask to be the white slave of a guy named Greg Sage. The petite giraffe was just minding it's own business, nestled in the forest, munching pine cones or something, when Greg Sage captured it with a butterfly net, threw it in the back of his red pickup truck with the rifle rack, and took home his petite lap trophy, shouting, "Woooohhooo, how to make money writing for HubPages"...all the way home.
These miniature giraffes are warm and fuzzy creatures with an obedient and affectionate nature. The reason they're called "lap giraffes" is because they love laying across a person's lap, with their wee legs collapsed under them, and their (comparatively) long necks reaching up to nuzzle under "their person's" chin.
These lap giraffes may be found in the wild, in Epping Forrest, the Old Black Forrest, and, strangely enough, In Central Park,in New York City, congregating around the fountain there and having a good gossip, mostly about Greg Sage and his vaguely repellent personal habits. (We can't get into details about that on HubPages, you understand.)
Greg took his aimable and affectionate prize home and immediately proceeded to exploit the H*** out of the poor thing. Aside from having the poor taste to re-name the animal "Jerry", (whose real name is Horatio Alger), Greg then set the poor beast to churning out pages and pages of, well, not to put too fine a point on it...
It's extremely fortunate that Horatio not only is affectionate and obedient, but also has a sense of humour...he managed to sneak a little bit of subtle lampooning of the demeaning, misleading and incoherent piles of horse puckey he was forced to produce, which saved us all from glassy-eyed convulsions upon reading this product, and brought the smiles to our faces.
If you want to find out what all the fuss is about...CLICK HERE
Since Greg INSISTS we start at the BEGINNING, or else we might MISS some of his "DEALTHLESS PROSE": CLICK HERE
This was intended to be a comical send-up or roast of Mr. Sage, and not intended to be taken seriously as an attack on Mr. Sage or his helpers.
Please do NOT regard any personal references or aspersions cast on Mr. Sage's character to be valid or true, or intended to wound.
Mr. Sage is well on the way to becoming a cyber-friend of mine. I have the theory it's good to be cyber-friends with those from other planets.