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Groaners for Jimmy

Updated on November 8, 2007

A Few Groaners for Jimmy the Jock, Premier Hub Humorist

Some Really Criminal Puns

Police were called to a day-care center where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a farm field could be charged with stalking.

Police reported that a dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.

Police said the man who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a smal medium at large.

[Contributed by the Detroit Free Press staff.]

"If all the girls who went to the Yale prom were laid from end to end, I wouldn't be surprised." Dorothy Parker

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    • Ralph Deeds profile imageAUTHOR

      Ralph Deeds 

      10 years ago from Birmingham, Michigan

      You're welcome.

    • glassvisage profile image

      glassvisage 

      10 years ago from Northern California

      Thank you for satisfying my urge for puns for the day. I can't get enough of them :)

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 

      10 years ago from Seattle

      They might make you groan, but they are too punny to pass up.

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 

      10 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks for sharing these Ralph, very funny, i heard this one recently.

      Did you know that diarrhoea is herdatory?, yes it runs in your genes (jeans)

      Thanks again Ralph have fun.....jimmy

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