Halloween (2018) Horror Movie Review
106 minutes but Michael does a lot of walking so that might be 5 minutes less if could move as well as he killed
David Gordon Green
Jeff Fradley, Danny McBride, David Gordon Green
Halloween 2018 asks us to forget every Halloween sequel since 1978 ever happened. This is easy since almost every sequel since 1978 has been pretty forgettable (Busta Rhymes? Whatever the F those ones with Danielle Harris were supposed to be, Paul Rudd looking super embarrassed) , even if you choose to solder those nostalgia goggles to your head.
When this newest iteration of Halloween was announced, I wondered what the point of it was since all one had to do to make even a decent sequel/reboot was for the movie not to suck. A Michael Myers-sized order considering the 45 sequels since.
Having seen the movie more than once, rest assured Halloween 2018 does not suck. Mission accomplished from David Gordon Green, director of last year’s solid Stronger (and 2011’s awful Your Highness). I can only assume Danny McBride (co-written by Green and Jeff Fradley) is responsible for the half-dozen funny lines that actually feel organic to the rest of the movie.
Now that we’ve kinda deleted the Halloween sequels from canon, let’s purge the Star Wars prequels, the final 3 seasons of True Blood and the second season of True Detective.
No? Well, we’ll always have Halloween ’18. Oddly enough, Halloween ’18 means the year the movie came out as well as how many sequels the original Halloween has.
The plot of Halloween can be summarized in 1 sentence: Michael Myers returns Haddonfield 40 years later to, um, kill a bunch of people, again. Not that anyone who’s watching Halloween actually cares about plot.
Let’s try to summarize Halloween with more than one sentence because, you know, word count.
After 40 years, Michael Myers is being transferred from prison because the filmmakers need to find some hook in which he can escape. After killing his sister Judith and all those other disposable people in 1978, he hasn’t said a word or made any real signs of improvement but that’s okay because nothing bad will happen on the bus ride over.
Before Mike leaves, some douchey podcasters (douchey = British, douchey = most podcasters—BTW- if you’ve ever asked me if I’ve listened to your podcast, I just lied and said yes just so you’d leave me alone about your podcast) named Harry and Hermione (these aren’t their actual character names but there’s no point in remembering them because they’re probably going to die real soon) want to talk to Michael but he’s really isn’t very chatty.
The podcasters decide it’s a clever idea to taunt Michael with The Mask from 40 years ago. This will go over really well.
Loomis replacement Dr. Sartain (Haluk Bilginer) is almost wistful that Michael is moving on. He’s probably suffering from that condition where Doctors get attached to patients that kill a bunch of people and spawn mostly-awful sequels.
Dr. Sartain really hasn’t figured Michael out in the years he’s been treating him, other than Mike is pure evil. Sartain will go on one last bus ride before Michael is transferred. This will go over really well.
Meanwhile, back in Haddonfield one marvels that there are actual black people (black Haddonfield population in 1978- 0). Strange, you’d think cops kill enough black people all over the country, why move into a place where a mass killing happened on purpose?
Anyway, Haddonfield is prepping for Halloween.
Laurie “Final Girl” Strode (Jamie #LeeToo Curtis) has been prepping since Halloween ’78 for another encounter with Michael Myers. She’s Linda Hamilton’d herself and if you ask her, she’d say she’s very Pro-Gun. She’s made herself a little compound while at the same time alienating her adult daughter (Judy “She’s In Everything” Greer) Karen.
Karen has done her best to live a normal life despite her kooky mom. She’s got a decent husband Ray (Toby Huss) and a really smart daughter Allyson (Andi Matichak), an honor roll student who secretly keeps in touch with Grandma. We look at this family and realize that Dad will probably die soon because he’s really expendable. Allyson is taking her boyfriend, Dead Boyfriend to meet her parents for dinner before going to a Halloween dance later. This will go over really well.
The wheels on the bus go round and round as Mike is being transferred. Since the Halloween franchise has some of the worst bus drivers in history, something happens and a lot of the inmates are free. Most of them are accounted for except one.
Yes, Michael has escaped again. Good thing cars these days have GPS and he still possesses excellent driving skills. We wouldn’t want him to get lost on his way to Haddonfield…again.
What Works With Halloween 2018
- Jamie Lee Curtis- She owns every frame she’s in and elevates H40 from a…we’ll get into that a little bit later.
- The final 20 minutes are the best in a Halloween movie since 1978. And it doesn’t even come close.
- That overly familiar Halloween theme is given a makeover by John and Cody Carpenter and some other guy. You’ve heard it so many times before, so the new spin is welcome and catchy.
- Someone you wouldn’t expect gets the best line in the movie, and one of the best lines of 2018. The audience I was with gasped as it was said. Sometimes simple is better.
- An intriguing final shot that should be familiar to Halloween fans. It could be good…or the worst thing ever.
What Doesn't Work With Halloween 2018
- JLC dominates Halloween ’18. Unfortunately, when she isn’t onscreen H40 devolves into a standard horror movie, with stupid teenagers and questionable decision making that would only be plausible in a substandard horror movie.
- (SPOILERISH) What white girl in 2018 doesn’t retrieve her phone? Oh, when the plot needs her to be without one.
Halloween ’18 is the best sequel to Halloween. And it isn’t even close. Sure, a lot of it is Fan Service, but Fan Service is better than Halloween 2 (1981), Season of the Witch, Halloween 4, 5, 6, that first Rob Zombie movie, H20 and especially 2009’s idiotic Halloween II. Of the three Halloween II’s this is #I.