Happy Town ep 3: A Stranger Comes To Town
Going In Circles
For some unknown reason, Tommy continues to protect Big Dave even though he confessed to driving a spike through Dirty Jerry’s head. Tommy is not very bright and went along with Big Dave to dig holes looking for bodies that were clearly not going to be there. Tommy said, “You killed a man, Dave. Sooner or later, that’s something I will have to deal with.” I vote for sooner, TC! Later, Tommy walked into his house and found Big Dave hanging out with his family. Tommy gave him the stank eye and then broke with him, basically. So, it’s ok to let a murderer run roam freely around your community, as long as he stays away from your family? Makes sense…
Meanwhile, Chloe’s car accident turned into an episode of The Dating Game. An attractive stranger, named Aiden, rescued her and brought her to a vet (Baby Boom, anyone?) for a checkup. How romantic. For some reason, even after the doctor blotted Chloe’s blood from her forehead, it seemed to pour out of her skull like a new cut. She didn’t even seem to notice, and obviously the vet didn’t care. Shortly after, someone wiped the blood away and Chloe’s forehead was completely healed. No cut, no scar. Great, her modeling career can get back on track. Love was in the air, so naturally Chloe and Aiden headed across the street to a skeevy motel for a gratuitous sex scene. She’s a classy lady, that Chloe!
Star Crossed Magic
Romeo and Juliet (Andrew & Georgia) were having drama of their own, as Georgia was trying to convince Andrew that her father did not beat her. Andrew had a master plan to smash up his own car, blame Carl (Georgia’s pops), and then get his friends to beat Carl to a pulp. Too bad Carl came prepared and knifed Andrew then stomped on his face. Hate to see such a well-thought out plan go so awry.
It was revealed (or already known and I was drunk) that Andrew is John Haplin’s kid. Tommy, the great sheriff that he is, decided to arrest Andrew, who forgot to hide the crowbar he used to smash up the car. John Haplin got so angry he called his mother, like a real man. The illustrious Mrs. Haplin descended upon Andrew, called him a liar, and then dictated that he will rule the world. That lady is on a different logic train than the rest of the world with her wily eyes.
In crazy Stivilleto news, the brothers got all gussied up and headed to the police station to report Tommy’s ninja attack. The state investigators were too busy figuring out that Big Dave is a murderer to give a crap. The real issue at hand is why one of the Stivilleto brothers has hair like Kenickie from Grease. Later, they reveal that their brother Greg is back from jail and has big plans for taking down Tommy. Of course, Greg = Aiden, Chloe’s love slave. Would anything else really make sense?
Merritt befriended Emma (TC’s kid) and invited her down to his creepy movie shop. I wonder if he has to notify his neighbors every time he moves to a new neighborhood. Hmmm. Anyway, Merritt showed Emma some lame magic trick involving disappearing ink in a journal. He gave her the book and sent her on her way. I guess journals are the new cookies?
Carl, who didn’t really get in much trouble for stabbing an underage kid, was questioned at the station strictly to give his insights on the Magic Man. He saw the Magic Man once and he was tall, skinny, wore a blue top hat, carried a walking stick, and had a huge bird named Cicero. Sounds like a combination of every character Johnny Depp has ever played. How would you miss a guy like that? The people on this show love to babble aimlessly in order to move the plot forward.
Watch Full Episodes Here
Kidnapping At Thaw Fest
While Emma was hanging out in the bounce house (the best part of any kind of “fest”), Rachel played with the journal that Merritt gave her. Nothing exciting happened until…Tommy and John Haplin were exchanging weak threats when they were interrupted by Emma’s crying. Rachel disappeared, leaving her purse, phone, and the mysterious journal on the ground. The pages of the book were blank again and Emma just kept saying “the man made the words disappear” like a whiny brat. The last image was of Tommy noticing the big bird (Cicero, I’d assume) and having flashbacks to Carl’s earlier babbling about the Magic Man. At least someone was in actual peril this episode, that’s a step in the right direction.
Quote of the Week
“It’s the kind of concern that you save for the guy you plan on spending the rest of your life with.”--Rachel about Georgia’s concern for Andrew. Gagville!
Jerry --Pick & Hammer
Happy Town: The Drinking Game (Only play if you’re over 21!)
When any of these things occur drink the corresponding number of sips:
“Happy Town”: 1
The question mark with the halo: 1
Someone says “Chloe”: 1
Any reference to “Magic Man”: 1
TC calls the Sheriff “Pop”: 1
Horror movie cliché: 2
Someone dies or is kidnapped: 5