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Have Fun!!

Updated on August 3, 2010

Disclaimer: The webpage has been created with the intention of enjoying some harmless humour .It in no way should be misunderstood & used in an abusive way. It does not mock in any manner any country, it's beliefs, faith, industry, company, individual, Bollywood or Hollywood. It should be viewed purely as recreational matter & leisure activity.

Love Guru

A Professor at one of the IIMs

was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and say: "I am very rich.

"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a

gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and

pointing at you says: "He's very rich.

"Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and get her telephone number. The next day, you

call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.

"Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up

and straighten your tie, you

walk up to her and pour

her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her,

pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and

then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you

"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks

up to you and says: "You are very rich!

"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you

a nice hard slap on your face. -

"That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she

introduces you to her husband. -

"That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a

party. You go up to

her and before you say anything, another person come

and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she

goes with him -

"That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to

her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your

wife arrives. -

"That's restriction for entering new markets"

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Take A Break

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My Promotions

My works:

www.hubpages.com/hub/meenu

http://hubpages.com/hub/A_Perfect_World

http://hubpages.com/hub/Soulmate

http://hubpages.com/hub/How_to_look_beautiful_than_you_are

http://hubpages.com/hub/How_to_look_beautiful_or_handsome_than_you_are

http://hubpages.com/hub/BtoH_Funbone

http://hubpages.com/hub/Have_Fun

My relevant topics:

http://hubpages.com/hub/BtoH_Funbone

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Status Of Webpage: In The Making

Updates: Monthly (1st of every month).

Enjoy!!

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Information Technology Abbreviations

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.

21. MASTEK : Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkha

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Indian Hungama

Q. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of

pepsi

but goes directly to Tendulkar. why ??

Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

.

Q. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'.

Which

movie did he really want to see?

Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!

.

Q. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

.

Q. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??

Socho...............

Ans:- HindustanLever (Leaver).

.

Q. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?

Ans:- adidas

.

Q. Luv and Kushare going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv

falls

into the well. Why ?

Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

English To Hindi Sense Of Humour

Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachche bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me! ----- * Mujhe bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man! ----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh chooza

mera hai, theek hai?

Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya

pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party. ---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are.....

How do you do? ----- * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch...... * Chhoote Raho.

Lets hang out!....*Chalo bahar latakte hain

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Punctuation.........

An English professor wrote the words:

" A woman without her man is nothing "

on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly..

All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY

SICKNESS:

No excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor's

statement as proof. We believe that if you are

able to go to the doctor, you are able to come

to work.

AN OPERATION:

We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish

to discourage any thoughts that you may need an

operation. We believe that as long as you are an

employee here, you will need all of whatever you

have and should not consider having anything

removed. We hired you as you are and to have

anything removed would certainly make you less

than we bargained for.

DEATH (Other than your own):

This is no excuse for missing work. There is

nothing you can do for them, and we are sure

that someone else can attend to the arrangements.

However, if the funeral can be held in the late

afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work

through your lunch hour and subsequently let you

leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the

work is ahead enough to keep the job going in

your absence.

DEATH (Your own):

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we

require at least two weeks notice as we feel it

is your duty to train your replacement.

ALSO:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the

restroom. In the future, we will follow the

practice of going in alphabetical order. For

instance, those whose names begin with "A" will

go from 8:00-8:15, and so on. If you're unable

to go at your time, it will be necessary to

wait until the next day when your time comes

again.

We appreciate your cooperation,

THE MANAGEMENT

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants .

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage .

6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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Talking to a Gal

1. (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like

gun into her back)

You're under arrest! ; (For what?) For stealing my heart

2. (Take a look at the tag on the girl's shirt, jacket, etc.);

She would say ; What are doing & respond,

Oh, just checking to see if you were 'made in Heaven'.

3. are your legs tired? ( girl: Why?) because you have been

running through my mind all day!

5. Can you give me directions to your heart? I've seemed to

have lost myself in your eyes..

6.Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?

7. (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)I was just showing

this flower how beautiful you are.

8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

9. Walk up to a gal and say: Are you from Greece? She answers

'No'. Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece

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A2Zee

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar Ke khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X'mas mei bhii khane padenge apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaroor dil bhar gaya hoga khake itne saare apple

 

My Dear Love

 
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric

lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and

spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my

heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your

eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you

can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love

for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you

into partial functions but if I do so, you can

integrate me by applying

the limits from zero to infinity.



You are as essential to me as an element to a

set. The geometry of my

life revolves around you

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