You may have had a significant other who’s mother has intentionally ruined your relationship.Or yikes, is it just me that hooks up with dudes whose mothers have mastered the slipknot, turning their apron string into nooses and then aiming them like a lasso for my head? Or have you also experienced mothers that won’t let their boys grow into men? We can find humor in the "Out of Control Queen Bee’s" in media such as; Meet the parents, Monster-in-law, Everybody loves Raymond, and even Bewitched. But the truth is no laughing matter, controlling mothers can be so obsessed with their sons that they trap them in an emotional or financial situation that renders them helpless without Mommy. This is a sad and very unhealthy relationship, referred to by mental health professionals as “Emotional Incest”, the sons are forbidden to love and the mothers selfishness doesn't allow preparation for the day when their sons will need to care for themselves.
One such birth giver pounced at me out of the nowhere while I climbed out of my vehicle. “Was this his mother?”, I asked myself, as I had never met her. I wasn't certain if it was her unexpected presence or the rapid vibration of what she was violently shaking in her clutches creating a chilly breeze on my face. She peered at me through the scorned eyes of a jealous lover, she squalled my name, “Angela since you want to spend so much time here with my son you need to pay half of the electric bill, you owe $169. Like a dog master, her son called off the snarling pit-bull, while I stood speechless. Just in case you also charge your guest for utility bills, I will clarify the situation, I had been visiting her son regularly, however, I lived over thirty minutes away and he had livestock that obligated him to be at home, whereas I had a very portable five pound Chihuahua. I really didn't see how I had the financial advantage with the cost of fuel today? In retrospect, I should have quickly dove back in the vehicle and sped for the highway. But I guess I’m a slow learner, so I could either bore you to tears or leave you in stitches by continuing with this story.
Phew, thank you Kathy, I guess I’m not the only one after all? Dr. Phil received a letter, from Kathy who wrote, "I love my husband too much to let some witchy woman ruin the good thing we have."Kathy, mother of one and expecting a second child, described her mother-in-law as rude, manipulative, passive aggressive,and lacking any and all social skills. She constantly criticizes Kathy’s parenting skills, and sends her magazine clippings, on weight lose and how to become a nicer person.
Over Rainbow, writes to Dear Abby, It isn't just straight couples, I'm a 48-year-old gay man. Years ago I was in my first cohabiting relationship, with "Boyd. "When we visited his parents home the first time, I noticed there were pictures of his wedding, that had ended in divorce years earlier, everywhere. His sisters mentioned that they were surprised to see the pictures out, indicating they had been recently set into place to upset me. On another occasion, Over Rainbow tells, “I am a fastidious housekeeper.” But, when Boyd's parents visited us, I had cleaned the house from top to bottom only to find his mother cleaning the sliding glass patio doors. She said, “The sun looks so pretty coming through the doors, but the streaks on the glass ruins the view.” “I wanted to slap her, but I hung onto my cool,” explained, Over Rainbow.
I am definitely not alone, looking into this further, this has been an unfortunate topic for over two thousand years. This boundary busting lady that invites herself everywhere has even shown up in the Bible. In the good book such mothers are labeled "busybodies", which translates "a self-appointed overseer in other men's matters. "The women mentioned, in Matthew 19:6, “Is going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.”
But, what can be done about the matriarch that strangles relationships with the un-severed umbilical cords? Ann Landers responded to Over Rainbow, “I'm sorry your mother-in-law turned out to be the Wicked Witch of the West instead of Glenda.” While Dr. Phil suggested to, “Define new boundaries. The boundaries you've had are not working. It's never too late to negotiate new ones.” Certainly Dr. Phil’s suggestion would be the most desirable scenario. You may want to hire a profession family councilor to help with the negotiating process. But however it is done, the two people in a committed loving relationship, acting as a couple, should deliver very clear and definite boundaries to the meddler. They also should warn that for the good of the relationships, a severed relationship will result if the boundaries are not respected. Because, God states in Genesis 2:23-24 , “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” So the big guy has spoken and said in the end it is up to the "Momma’s boy" to stand up and be a man, protecting his relationship from this self-appointed overseer he calls mother. This may be no easy task as it is possible that his mother has not left him in any position to become a man! He well may remain his mommy’s boy due to her emotional, or financial orchestration.