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How To Avoid Becoming A Liberal

Updated on July 8, 2013

In today’s big brother world, it can be nearly impossible to avoid the clutches of the imperial left wing media. They seem to be everywhere, lurking in the shadows, drilling leftist propaganda into our unsuspecting head when we least expect it. So how does one escape this paralyzing machine and its agenda? Glad you asked, here are some steps to avoid being influenced by the machine:

Avoid institutions of higher learning – Colleges are nothing more than fertile training grounds, where left leaning professors get their hands on our children and turn them into Karl Marx loving socialists. Do not let this happen. Keep them at home and under close supervision, where they will not be brainwashed by these Volvo driving ex hippie types who have never done an honest day’s work in their lives.

Avoid those with different beliefs than your own – There are times when we are forced into situations where we have to hear an opinion different than our own. At the workplace, family gatherings, maybe even out in public--if you go to the wrong types of places. At times, you may have to hear different opinions or beliefs and perhaps may even be influenced. If you are forced to have a conversation with one of these types, be sure to shake your head and judge these people to the fullest extent, letting them know you do not support their hippy leanings. And by all means do not listen to what they have to say!

Do not watch the news – Even your local weather team has been infiltrated, spouting off warm global warming hogwash such as, warm temperatures expected today. New age hooey!

Do not watch movies – Hollywood is full of elite types that like to mingle with the liberal crowd. Often holding fund raisers for some charity in foreign countries while donating money to the left leaning lobbyists in Washington. Boycott now; do not watch another movie that doesn’t have Mel Gibson, Chuck Norris, or Clint Eastwood in it.

Avoid cities – Metropolitan areas are flooded with mobs of these tree hugging radicals and serve no real purpose. Museums, art galleries, and other bohemian rubbish litter the streets of our once great towns. Carry me back to Mayberry...

Do not listen to music – Most singers such as Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder and Bruce Springsteen are socialist loving hippies at heart, taking every opportunity to preach to us about political matters in which they do not understand. The king would roll over in his grave...if he were dead.

Do not watch sports – Player’s unions are to blame for today’s crybaby players. With their rules and regulations they have managed to turn football into soccer. Real men risk their lives and limbs to entertain us and don't cry about afterwards. Babies...Avoid professional sports all together. There's nothing like College football, where money doesn't matter...

Follow these simple guidelines and you may be able to make though your day without becoming a commie. Just be sure to remember:

  • Change is always bad, unless it’s good.
  • Some amendments of the bill of rights are more important than others.
  • There is no place for moderates in today's political climate. Many of these pinko's and RHINO's are only democrats in disguise.
  • Say what you mean and then spin it accordingly.
  • Every single thing Ronald Reagan said was right, EVERYTHING!
  • Never, ever, change your mind.
  • Any action taken to prohibit you from owning a bazooka is in direct violation of the constitution.

Tale of The Tape

Do You?
Liberal Weenie
God Fearing American
Drive A Subaru
Eat Bacon
Have A Ted Nugent For President Bumper Sticker
Ask For Extra Plastic Bags At The Grocery Store
Walk...When You Could Drive
Like Jim Carrey
Like Tim Tebow
Want To Take Your Country Back
Watch Soccer
Listen To NPR
Think That Obama Is The AntiChrist

Watch Once Per Day...

Coming Soon:

How To Avoid Becoming A Conservative- Basically this hub written in reverse...


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    • IslandBites profile image

      IslandBites 4 years ago from Puerto Rico

      Think That Obama Is The AntiChrist LOL

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      I need to start working on this. Clearly I am becoming way too liberal... I knew moving the a city was a bad idea. Shesh!