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How the 2000s Have Molded My Generation Into Supervillains

Updated on August 31, 2012
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Our Own Origin Story...

Fun Fact: the photo to the right that I've used as my cover is licensed under WTFPL (What The Fuck Public License). The actual name of the license is "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License." This is what the decade from 2000 to 2010 has birthed. We have done it to ourselves, people. My generation, the generation that is currently taking a firm grasp of the public workplace, has been corrupted by the mind-blowing explosion of technological advances that have occurred throughout that decade. Yes, individually we may seem innocent enough, but if you step back and take in the aspects of our entire demographic, you begin to notice that, collectively, we are the world's scariest supervillain.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Oh, I know you remember this guy...

Behold, the downfall of mankind...
Behold, the downfall of mankind... | Source

I'm actually pleased that the photo came out gigantic so that you can truly take in the majesty of that piece of technology. I was about 14-years-old when this phone came out, and I would not let my parents rest until I got one. Unlike those boring cell phones that only called people a few years earlier, this phone could blast monophonic ringtones that sorta, kinda, maybe sounded like popular radio songs. I played Snake on the Nokia 3310 until full centimeter callouses formed on my thumbs.

Little did we know that this little piece of technology that introduced texting in the year 2000 would lead to this Frankensteinian abomination...

Cue the "Imperial Theme" from Star Wars
Cue the "Imperial Theme" from Star Wars | Source

That is the iPhone 4, introduced in 2010. The original iPhone has been corrupting our youth since 2008. Wait, that's just eight years of separation. Just check out this little journey through the history of cell phones, and feel free to skip ahead to 2000 to see exactly what every teenager just had to have every year leading up to the iPhone.

It's interesting to actually catalog these achievements and notice the evolution after the fact. While I was living through it, I didn't comprehend the gravity of the situation. The phone I have today is virtually obsolete according to this chart, and society is almost forcing everyone to own a smart phone lest they be left behind in a technological dark age. I once saw a friend pay his bills, rent a movie, and order a pizza in one sitting... from his freaking phone.

How We've Turned Evil

These advancements in cell phones simply act as a barometer to broadcast our technological improvements through the 2000s because, obviously, other things were going on that were even less noticeable. Can you believe that the Playstation 2 dropped over 12 years ago? Yes, while computers were simply used for computing (mostly) and I was still rocking out to the Backstreet Boys, Sony joined in the plot to corrupt our minds and send our generation hurdling into a villainous black hole from which we have not returned. Like cell phones, video games became less about function and more about flair. In our diminutive minds, our video game experiences needed to feel real, dammit.

Also like the evolution of the cell phone, the decade would not end until a vast majority of us chose to bury our minds and souls in this piece of technology. Simply ask how many hours of precious life someone spent conquering this game...

Oh no, he didn't.
Oh no, he didn't. | Source

By the end of the decade, games such as Fallout 3, Fable 3, Batman: Arkham Asylum, and any game from the Call of Duty franchise had burrowed into the lifestyle of almost every young person. We had achieved what we wanted: video games that gave us our own worlds. Therefore, we decided to take over our real worlds.

The Times Ahead

My generation is slowly but surely forming roots in the economy. We can all notice this fact by the dramatic shift in choice of media. How many people still choose to obtain their news from talking heads on a television screen? Who wants to sit through eight minutes of actual television while they throw in three minutes of mindless solicitation (I hate commercials)? What people are beginning to realize is that America is starting to sway to the minds sculpted from the 2000s. These same minds are the ones that expected drastic improvements on a yearly basis. This is the same demographic that does most of its daily reading through blurbs that can only be 140 characters in length.

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The 2000s have bred a generation that believes in and lives with the idea that instant gratification is not a luxury, but a need. For instance, when Windows Vista was released in 2007 and welcomed with an unholy backlash from all of us who had to deal with it, do you remember what happened? Boom, two years later, we got Windows 7. Don't get me wrong, television will still persist in the American household because who could live without Sportscenter or American Idol? People will simply stop waiting to obtain "important" information from television news sources.

We noticed this fact just recently with the London Olympics. NBC attempted to delay the up-to-date goings-on, so that people could view the sports in prime time while feeling like what they're watching isn't half-of-a-day old already. How did that work out? We're not dumb. Hell, we just landed an ATV on Mars. My point is this, our generation that has emerged from the 2000s is scary as hell. We're like if Brainiac from Superman and The Joker from Batman had an offspring. Because of the technology we have matured with and the reckless abandon with use it with, we have the tools that can perhaps lead to supervillainous lunacy.

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