How to Act Crazy
I’m an introvert at heart and a Libra by nature. The two can be very conflicting and sometimes I can come across as bipolar. When I’m feeling introverted I’m shy quiet and reserved, please don’t talk to me because I don’t want to talk to you. When I’m feeling like a Libra I am the life of the party holding 3 conversations at once and making oogly-eyes at the entire room. I’m also a little nutty, or quirky, as I prefer to say. So I’ve come up with ways to either encourage or discourage people as they’re approaching me depending on the mood of the hour. The following ideas are my ways of A) scaring people away when I don’t want to talk OR B) keeping people entertained when they’re really drunk.
Perfect Manic Laugh at the End
This one is my personal favorite. The more you practice it the better you will get at it. Depending on the pitch and length it can cause many reactions. The manic laugh works to scare off people you don’t want to talk to, to encourage loud drunks, or to make the kids think you’re having a great time without them. It’s best done with your mouth open as wide as possible and your head thrown back for better projection. To look extra crazy you can laugh abruptly at an inappropriate time and then stop as abruptly, pretending like it never happened.
(As a side note: this manic laugh will also put you in a better mood if you do it for your own benefit. Just keep doing it and trying to sound as goofy as possible. If that doesn’t make you giggle for real nothing will!)
Who You Talking To?
This is best done in a one-on-one conversation in person. When the other person says something to you turn and look immediately to your left and say “I don’t think she was talking to you.” If you get questioned just shrug and act like you didn’t hear the question and take your turn in the conversation. This will either scare away the talker or it will make the drunk laugh uncontrollably. You can switch up the standard phrase with the following:
- I STILL don’t think she’s talking to you
- She’s not talking to you yet
- What part of ‘not talking to you’ don’t you understand?
- Stop interrupting my conversation please
- I’ll deal with you as soon as I’m through here
This one’s really difficult for me to do because I always end up laughing and ruining the whole production. When you’re in a conversation be sure to keep glancing around the room casually with your eyes. When you land on the talker’s face make your eyes super huge, I mean super-duper huge like you just noticed something absolutely horrible about them. If the person asks you about it just explain it away as if you had something in your eye. After a few more times of this game the annoying talker will rush away or the silly drunk person will start making bug eyes back at you. Either way you’ve achieved your goal.
This is a little more subtle than the ideas mentioned above. But if you stick with it you’ll still get the results you desire. While in a conversation keep looking over the other person’s shoulder like you’re terrified. Shoot your eyes back and forth and look over your own shoulder like you think someone’s after you. Then calmly focus back on the talker and give him or her a reassuring smile. Several runs of this charade and you will indeed look like a paranoid schizophrenic.
Pete and Repeat
This game is really fun to me because it can go on for quite some time before the other person catches on to what you’re doing. When you’re talking to someone repeat his or her phrases back as a question. The annoying talker will get sick of the one-sided conversation or the drunk will think you’re totally into him and want to know all his darkest secrets. Here is an example of Pete and Repeat:
Him: How are you today?
You: How are you today?
Him: Im good.
You: You’re good?
Him: Did you see that segment on the plane crash?
You: Did you see that segment on the plane crash?
Him: I saw it, I couldn’t believe nobody died.
You: You couldn’t believe nobody died?
Him: Yah, it was some messed up stuff - the plane broke in half!
You: The plane broke in half?
Him: Yah, have you seen Jill lately?
You: Have you seen Jill lately?
Him: Why are you doing that?
You: Why am I doing what?
Him: You're asking what I say.
You: I'm asking what you say?
What a Jerk!
This one isn’t a favorite by any means so feel free to use it as often as necessary. After a good bout of What a Jerk! I’m left with a stiff neck and I have to sleep on the heating pad after applying Bengay. During a conversation silently count to 5 and then quickly jerk your left shoulder up to your left ear and then back down to normal resting position. If you get asked if you’re ok just nod and motion for the other person to continue. Count to 5 and jerk again. Do this counting to 5 and jerking thing until the other person calls a medic or walks off confused.
Remember, these are MY ideas. Please don’t go around using them or they will lose all credibility. Come up with your own ideas or I will come find you. Wait – did that sound crazy?