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How to Breathe: A step-by-step Guide

Updated on January 10, 2013

Breathing for Dummies:

Welcome to this sure-shot and easy to follow step-by-step guide on breathing! Throughout this article you will be taught how to breathe to say alive!

Let's sum up some of the topics we will cover throughout this hub:

  • Inhaling: Getting air into your lungs
  • Absorbing: Absorbing the air's components to convert into energy for your body
  • Exhaling: Breathing out the air that doesn't get used

First, you have to know if you have everything you are going to need to breathe. This includes:

  • Lungs: A set of two that works - this guide isn't for plants, but for animals!
  • Holes: Possibly on the face, even though some species have them on the back and even on stranger places
  • Need: If you are a rock you don't have this component, you don't need to breathe, you should check out my step-by-step guide on How to be a Rock!

If you meet all these criteria, then please continue reading!

Breathing: Just how should I do it?

Well, it can be confusing for those of you that are now starting the noble art of breathing. You might be surprised to know, but you are actually breathing everyday... notice it now! You're breathing just now!

Don't be Overwhelmed by this!

I was surprised when I noticed this to, but you will get used to it. This guide is actually to teach you how to breathe if you happen to forget it.

  1. Force air into your breathing holes: Like nostrils for humans, with a sucking movement of your lungs, make air flow into them!
  2. Gently absorb oxygen and other useful components: Your blood will need them to power up your cells and to keep your body moving.
  3. Breathe Out: Force the air out of your lungs in order to make space for a new batch of air!
  4. Rinse and Repeat!

Congratulations, you now know how to breathe!

Some Pro-Tips on inhaling and exhaling!

Here are some tips on inhaling:

  • Don't inhale toxic fumes or gases
  • Don't inhale solids
  • Don't inhale powders
  • Don't inhale liquid substances
  • Don't inhale on outer space
  • Don't inhale other animals

Now some tips on exhaling:

  • Don't exhale milk when laughing
  • Don't exhale directly on strager's ears
  • Don't exhale before inhaling

Follow these tips and you're on a good path towards being a pro breather!

The Real Reason this Article was Made

Ok, so now I'll disclose the reason why this article was made. I am sick of seeing all the "Step-by-Step Guides" and the "How to" articles on the most simple things on the universe.

I was being bothered by this for some time now. People are doing these guides on everything that's possible just to get search engine traffic. Well, kudos to you, you're pursuing a certain strategy that will take you somewhere.

However, yesterday I was browsing and I found one that made me sick. "How to Eat a Banana: A step-by-step guide".

C'mon! This is too much. I frown upon guides on "How to be a Good Parent in Halloween" - I mean, who wants to be a good parent only in halloween? And even so, who are you to tell me how I should raise my children if I never even met you, or if you don't have kids?

Well, as I say I am bothered with these guides. But how to eat a banana? Seriously?

Well for those of you that consider these a good read, I made this guide, I hope it helps you stay alive, so you can keep on teaching me how to turn off my tv on sunday!


Circular Breathing: Breathing for the Perfectionists

What do you think?

Are you tired of seeing so many "How to" of really simple stuff everyone can do?

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    • Rui Carreira profile image
      Author

      Rui Carreira 4 years ago from Torres Novas

      Thanks passionate! It was really intended to make you giggle :D

    • passionate77 profile image

      passionate77 4 years ago

      very nice and interesting with a touch of fun, that made me smile and laugh many times, going through this article till end, loved it as i enjoyed reading all through, thanks Ruri for sharing these tips in a cool way, many blessings dear!

    • Rui Carreira profile image
      Author

      Rui Carreira 4 years ago from Torres Novas

      Haha... Remember to breathe :D

    • profile image

      VivaLaVina 4 years ago

      Interesting hub! I didn't realize I was breathing accordingly while reading this hub. haha.. if I could just keep this hub, it'll make my every day.

    • Rui Carreira profile image
      Author

      Rui Carreira 4 years ago from Torres Novas

      Thanks Miss Apprentice :) Have a good run with your course!

    • Kimberly Vaughn profile image

      Kimberly Vaughn 4 years ago from Midwest

      Great hub! Very funny! I actually found my self breathing in deeper while reading it.