32 Tips on How to Become Evil.| How to Become Deliciously Evil.|How be a Sith Lord! |How to be a Super Villan!
I have even included a training video.
Have you had enough of being a good person? Do you find the idea of being an evil person intriguing, but you want to ease into the dark side? This is a primer on how to become a semi- evil person.
1.Tell any mean, old people that you run across, “That death is coming for them.” I f that old person is especially mean, tell them, “I can already smell your soul burning.”
2.Take more than 15 items to the 15-Items or less checkout line.
3. If you have seen a movie and someone you know has not- spoil the surprise ending for them.
4.Steal candy from babies or from children on Halloween.
5. Tell new mothers that their child is ugly (only if the child is ugly).
6. Pass gas in crowded places. I read a men’s magazine that said to fart in the copier room to show your coworkers that is the kind of guy you are (the writer was not kidding).
7. Tell a young man, that is attempting to woo a young lady, that women prefer toilet paper over flowers. Explain that you know what your saying is a fact, because your wife goes through toilet paper like there is no tomorrow.
8. Tell children that there is no Santa Clause.
9. Tell a member of the new high school graduating class that they will probably never live their dreams, and that they will have to work for the next 60 years or more.
10. Tell little children that the devil or a snake lives in a toilet (this scared me as a kid).
11.Buy people who smoke, cigarettes for birthdays, Christmas, or whatever. Tell the person that you like the idea of giving them a gift that brings them closer to death.
12.Tell children that there really are monsters under the bed and in the closet.
13.Buy the movies Alien, It's Alive, and Rosemary’s Baby and give them away as baby shower gifts.
14.Tell any teenager that has a pimple, “That is the biggest zit I have ever seen.”
15.If you have never been divorced and you are married, introduce your wife as your first wife.
16.If a woman friend is getting married, mention in passing that there is no way she can wear a white wedding dress.
17.Ask pregnant women if she knows who the father is.
18. Ask a woman , even if she is skinny, if she is pregnant.
19.Ask any guy who is over 30 if he is going bald.
20.Go ahead and pee in the public pool or any pool that is not yours.
21.Feel free to pee in the shower at the gym.
22.Tell someone who has had plastic surgery, “Your plastic surgeon has such a delightful sense of humor!”
23.Put in a blogger’s or Hubber's comment section, “I always feel more intelligent after reading your thoughts and ideas.”
24.Tell someone who answers a question you ask, “Don’t get me wrong - I love that you try to sound intelligent when you answer my questions.”
25.Pay for your groceries or gas in pennies.
26.Ask someone who you know is on a diet, “Have you gained weight?”
27.If you think someone is wearing a rug, toupee, or hair plugs, ask him if he is wearing a bad hairpiece.
28.I f you see children at a pet store looking at puppies or kittens, tell them you like to buy cute animals and feed them to your pet snake.
29.Tell a blind person that you see in church, “That maybe if they really have faith, they will be able to see today.” Unfortunately, this is a true story and I know the person was trying to be helpful but it is a lousy thing to say.
30.Practice your evil laugh.
31.“Tell someone that is dying of cancer that they are dying because they have un confessed sin.” This happened to my wife and her family when her mother was dying of cancer. I know the person who said it thought they were doing the work of the Lord but all I saw was red.
32.Give away healthy treats or pennies on Halloween.
In closing, do you have any ideas to add to the list?.