How To Forget About A Horror Movie
Let's face it. The sad truth is that most horror movies these days are forgettable. House of Wax, anyone? The only memorable scene was when Paris Hilton bought it. 2009's Transylmania? What? Did anybody even see House of the Dead? How many Saw movies do we really need before it gets old and tired? (Correct answer: Three.)
Truthfully, the "shock and awe" of horror films has all but worn off. We've pretty much seen it all. Even when movie makers throw some really shocking stuff into their films, it often comes across as trite. If it weren't for movies like Zombieland and The Devil's Rejects, many of us would have given up on the genre long ago.
When you do manage to get lucky enough to find a horror movie that's actually scary with the added bonuses of gory and gruesome, what happens when you can't get those frightening images or situations out of your head? How do you forget about a scary movie?
Wash That Movie Right Out Of Your Head
Here are a few useful tips for forgetting about horror movies:
- Kittens and puppies - There is nothing nefarious about kittens and puppies. Play with them. Throw them catnip mice (puppies will play with them, it's just not as fun). If you've got one of those little laser lights, cats and dogs will both chase them. When they get all tired and pass out, you'll get your "Awwww" moment and The Evil Dead will soon be forgotten.
- SpongeBob SquarePants - Watching SpongeBob or any other kiddie cartoon or movie will get you thinking about something other that the decapitations and/or eviscerations that you've just seen. Also recommended: The Smurfs, Scooby Doo (but not the mummy, vampire, werewolf or Creature from the Black Lagoon episodes, for obvious reasons), Animaniacs or even Family Guy.
- Hakuna Matata - Sing a happy song. Repeatedly. Hakuna Matata will get rid of any lingering fright leftover from The Blair Witch Project. Also try Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry, Be Happy or join hands with your friends and family for a rousing rendition of Kumbaya.
- YouTube - Watch funny videos. They're guaranteed to make you think about other things, thus getting Freddy Krueger and his wicked fingernails out of your head. Suggestions: Epic Rap Battles of History, Distastrophe Films or search "funny cats."
- Valium, Ativan, Ambien or Alcohol - Sometimes a scary movie is so scary that we just can't sleep after watching it. In those situations, a little "help" may be required. Please note that I said a little. Drinking a fifth of Jack before bedtime might be fine for now, but you will pay for it in the morning. (I am in no way advocating taking prescription medication that is not prescribed for you. This can get you two to five in an eight by ten and Michael Meyers will be the least of your worries.)
Above all else, remember that it's just a movie. Yes, bad things happen all the time, but the chances of an alien jumping out of your belly and attacking your face while you're simply minding your own business are pretty slim. You are also not likely to ever come face to face with a machete wielding giant in a hockey mask in your lifetime.
If you repeatedly have problems getting your brain on the safe track after watching horror movies, then they are probably not for you. Try Lilo & Stitch, Madagascar or The Lion King instead. Or the Teletubbies, but some of us are more scared of those... things than anything Wes Craven could ever come up with!