- Entertainment and Media
I Don't Have An Ass, A Cock Or A Pussy. But I Do Have A Bitch And Her Brother!
Raise Your Puppy Right
Look what you have started rocknjoe! I loved your hub Please Rate My Wife's Naked Chest after it was brought to my attention by B.T. who's hub If You See My Wifes Ass Grab It came out to pay homage your work. Then the lovely mistyhorizon blew me away with her hub "I Want You To Play With My Pussy " (no longer published) and I just had to get involved. I know this is a bit of a stretch from the brilliance of your topics but I'm going to give it a whirl.
So I created this hub to tell you all about my bitch. My bitch can be frisky and even a bit playful sometimes but even then she is still a bitch. You don't want to get on the wrong side of my bitch although I think her bark is worse than her bite. She has been know to snap at you if you take her by surprise but I think that's just the kind of nervous bitch she is.
I know many of you don't really care for bitches but there are many reasons I like to have my bitch around the house. She keeps me company when I'm alone in the house, although I will say that I usually have to give her my full undivided attention or she will not get out of my face. My bitch gets easily excited but I can usually calm her down by giving her something, you know the whole throw the dog a bone thing. Another good reason for having a bitch around is that they are overly protective. If a stranger walks by the house, no matter what time it is, you better look out. If my bitch hears them she will let them know to stay away. Nobody barks like my bitch. I suppose my bitch can be loving too although I get the feeling it's all about her getting what she wants more than her feelings for me. You know the kind, bitches that are always looking to get praise or demand to be stroked. My bitch is hairy too and sometimes smells terrible. But I'm not allowed to say anything or she might get her feelings hurt. I think the worst thing about my bitch is that her hair falls out all the time. My bitch is a natural blond and everywhere you go in the house there is this short blond hair. I clean it up and an hour later a pile of hair from my bitch is there again. I don't know what to do. It's not like I can get rid of her. That would be too upsetting to her brother. Don't even get me started about him!
Yes I have a bitch and her brother in my house and they think a lot alike. I'll tell you life with them both is interesting. They fight like cats and dogs! I have learned a few things since they came into my life like, don't leave a pair of brand new Oakley sunglasses on the counter. For some reason they thought I left the Oakleys out for them to play with so they grabbed them off the counter and broke them. Actually it looked more like they tried to cover it up because I found them buried in the yard. And I've learned not to leave food out because they are hungry all the time. And they will eat anything. The bitch seems to like bananas while her brother loves chocolate. I know chocolate isn't good for him but he loves it anyway and will go to great lengths to get to it even if I hide it from him.
Besides the hair and the property damage and not being able to bathe themselves and all of the eating and then pooping whenever and wherever they want, (Not going there) I guess it's not so bad having them around. My wife loves the bitches brother, he's her favorite. But they both bring joy to our family and I guess after 3-1/2 years they have become part of it. We go on long walks together and they never fight or talk back while we are out so that's nice. We go to the sand dunes and go riding and they have a great time running around in the wide open space and playing with my sister's bitch. So all in all I guess life with a bitch and her brother in the house isn't so bad. But don't tell my wife, she thinks I don't like having the bitch or her brother in the house. That way she thinks I'm doing her a favor by letting her keep them.
So by now you have obviously figured out that I am talking about my two dogs, Savanna (the bitch) and Cooper (the brother). They are pure bred Yellow Labs that we've had since they were six weeks old and are the loves of my wife's life. I have included many pictures on my hub so I hope you like them.
To the wonderful writers of the hubs I mentioned at the beginning, I salute all three of you. My writing pales in comparison but I will continue to study your work and strive to be as clever and funny as you some day. Enjoy!