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I like Big Butts, I Cannot Lie | J.Lo VS Kim Kardashian

Updated on October 12, 2009

Sir Mix A Lot said it best with his immortal lyrics. He liked big butts, and he wasn't alone. Many of us do. In fact, it's not so much a perversion, as a science. We can study the bottoms of various celebrities and compare them like fine wines, or sports cars, or bottle caps, you get the idea. The only thing that we can't very well do is collect them (well most of us anyway, no doubt there are rich eccentrics who do just that, but for most of us that will have to remain a forbidden dream.)

For us less rich in monetary terms, but I like to think, richer in spirit, I bring you another celebrity ass off. The contenders for tonight's battle of the booties are the lovely Kim Kardashian, and the songstress J.Lo.

Let us compare...

Kim Kardashian's behind simply has to be seen to be believed. Interestingly enough, it seems to have grown exponentially since she befriended Paris Hilton and subsequently released her sex tape. Has she had herself a little plastic surgery to enhance that booty? Nobody can be sure. Maybe she's just wearing tighter dresses, maybe she switched to cheeseburgers instead of subway sandwiches. What we can know for certain is that her ass could be equally effective as a shelf for small knick knacks as it is for drawing male attention.

Many would say that Kim Kardashian's ass is so grande that it has effectively beaten J.Lo out entirely. Think about it, when was the last time you heard Jennifer Lopez's backside being mentioned? Exactly. It's not as if J.Lo's got any smaller, it's simply a matter of it being upstaged by a new, younger, hotter ass.

Like any beauty contest, we have to at least pretend to give a damn about the moral, intellectual, and spiritual fiber of the contestants. Miss Lopez has expressed a preference away from world peace and towards the mass slaughter of small fuzzy creatures in the name of fashion. This demonstrates a level of shallowness of character which may account for some of the levity in her booty. Not concerned with the harder issues of life and living, neither her mind nor her ass are dragged down like so many others.

Kim on the other hand has maintained a plastic mystique (otherwise known as a 'plastique') about her persona. What does she think about global warming? I don't know. Does she kick babies for fun? Maybe. All we really know about Kim is that she enjoys exhibitionary shows and water sports in the bedroom, which is probably more than enough information for most people.

The Winner: For enduring public humiliation with a smile and an even tighter wardrobe than she boasted before, Miss Kim Kardashian wins this celebrity ass off by a country mile.

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    • profile image

      salamander 

      8 years ago

      big butts are niiiiice but if size is important shape is also VERY important, so hands down J-LO

    • profile image

      J.Lo Fan 

      9 years ago

      Pluis kim got surgery done on here boobs and J.Lo did not have to do that. By the way ck out Kims pictures she's got a way to stand and pushes her booty out pay attention. One leg to the fron the other to that back.

    • profile image

      J.lo Fan 

      9 years ago

      J.Lo is way better from any angle you want to see it and Kim is always covering it with clothing so is it really natural or could be a special under padding.

    • profile image

      johnny23 

      9 years ago

      j-lo

    • profile image

      KBallenger53 

      9 years ago

      J. Lo had it going on until she decided to get it sucked out! Why she did that, I'll never understand. She had as they say in Spanish: "El Grande' Culo"!!! Remember how she looked in SELINA? She would've given Kim a run for her money!!!

      Now Kim, is off the Hook!!! And she know's it!!! That's the only thing that kills her. The attitude!!! If she was so stuck on the fact that she has Big Culo, she would win the contest to me. And it's a very hard Contest to win. But, my vote would have to go to, drum roll please...................................BEYONCE!!!

      'NUFF SAID

    • profile image

      Sy-K 

      9 years ago

      Ooooooohhh I loevit....

    • profile image

      john blaze 

      9 years ago

      yeah but nothing can ever compare to this ecuadorian chick i know, damm let me tell you I seen guys stay in a store for hours just follow here around and take a look at that spectacular culo too bad she never gave me a chance ...

    • profile image

      eatdatphatazz 

      9 years ago

      when i see kim kardishan's ass i wish i had an tounge like gene simmons!

    • profile image

      sundar 

      9 years ago

      super

    • profile image

      dave 

      9 years ago

      kim kardashian has the most amazing big round butt i have ever seen in my life hands down kim has the hottest butt in the world

    • profile image

      ass 

      9 years ago

      KIM KIM KIM!

    • profile image

      Ill-Dill 

      10 years ago

      Well, j-Los probably smells like cuchifritos, and Kim's like babagonoush, yeah, tough call.

    • adeshwar profile image

      adeshwar 

      10 years ago

      oh man i luv big butts , great collection

    • profile image

      kardashians rules 

      10 years ago

      kim for sure all the way. By the way its all natural

    • profile image

      sepehr 

      10 years ago

      loooooooooooooooooooooooooove

    • profile image

      sepehr 

      10 years ago

      loooooooooooooooooooooooooove

    • profile image

      man 

      10 years ago

      j-lo won because she's natural.....lovely bootys though

    • DeMarco profile image

      DeMarco 

      11 years ago

      Hmmm...i'll admit it's a tough call!

    • profile image

      saad2222 

      11 years ago

      hi big

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