ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

I’m Not The Only Gay Having His Gay Card Revoked!

Updated on July 7, 2009


Long have I worried that I would have my gay card revoked by the imaginary gay membership committee due to the fact that I’m just not gay enough (according to all the stereotypes) I don’t sleep around, I’m not “gay thin” and you could put me in a kitchen from now until next week and the only thing I could make would probably be a vinaigrette (provided I had step by step instructions). I know that some people think that just being effeminate and sleeping with men is enough but I’m here to tell you that it isn’t when you’re “afeared” the gay membership is terminating your “privileges” (shall we say?) And although I know you won’t believe it, not all of us gays actually know one another. That said, I do know quite a few and one of them is the author behind the sensational blog, “The Andrews Salzburg Report” author extraordinaire Dann Dulin. (Read his blog here Well, according to him (and his blog) this week he had to pass on interviews with none other than Ann-Margret and Sigourney Weaver due to being sick. SICK?!? You bet he’s sick because he knows that thanks to this faux pas it’s official, I’m not the only gay having his gay card revoked! – Don’t Get Me Started!

That’s right Dann they’re a-comin’ for ye! I can only speak for myself but if it were me I would have found a way to make it to at least one of those interviews and the one that I would pick? Ann-Margret of course is the only choice. While I do so adore the Weaver, nothing compares to that red headed bundle of dynamite that is Ann-Margret. I mean, come on – who else is Ann-Margret? No one, that’s who. There has never been anyone like her nor will there ever be anyone like her. It’s not that she’s the best singer or the best dancer or the best actress in the world it’s that she is Ann-Freaking-Margaret folks! From her teen days to today she is a performer that never disappoints. As I’m writing this I’m hearing her famous “Ha! Ha!’s” from her many fabulous numbers in Viva Las Vegas (yes, I’m a bit partial to that one because of living in Vegas and come on, how could you not love Ann-Margret and Elvis together in the same movie? If you don’t, “the gentleman’s all wet” – if you don’t know what that quote is your membership is in danger too). The fact that Dann passed makes me want to sing to him, “There are men, with childhood behind them…”

Dann (as a gay man) may have many things behind him at any given time but the one thing that won’t be behind him anytime soon is the no show for the show biz legend interview. Some things are just unforgivable. I would tear my clothes (an ancient showing of someone being “dead to you” in the Jewish faith) if it weren’t that Dann is such a good writer and writes such snappy emails.

So Dann, when the gay membership ask for the tribunal to take place (similar to the kind you used to see on the television show Bewitched) I’ll be there to show my support but unfortunately I don’t think with my current standing that my testimony would help you all that much. (That’s one gay’s way of telling another gay, “You’re on your own, sister!”) And should you redeem yourself and be able to land a postponement on these interviews you’ll be as Liza sang about, “Top of the heap” (and we all know it’s better to be on the top of the heap than at the bottom, because the bottom of the heap is very crowded and doesn’t afford the best views). But until that time comes, my head will rest just a little better on my Wicked (the Broadway musical pillow case (No I don’t really have one, how gay do you think I am, people?) knowing that I’m not the only gay having his gay card revoked! – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Patricia Costanzo profile image

      Patricia Costanzo 8 years ago from Behind the Redwood Curtain

      Scott you are a delightful way to start the day, I must say!

      Do you see a resemblance between Ann Margret and Nicole Kidman?

    • profile image

      Dann 8 years ago

      What can I say?! I'm honored to be part of your blog, even though my card is in jeopardy...... ;)

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 8 years ago from Las Vegas


      Thanks. Nope on the resemblence of Ann Margret and Nicole Kidman but maybe it's just me?!? Scott

    • rose56 profile image

      rose56 6 years ago

      cool hub.I love Ann Margret theirs no one like her. Thats for sure.

    • profile image

      STEVEN 6 years ago


    Click to Rate This Article