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I've Been Busy Falling

Updated on January 9, 2019

My Daily Rant 1/8/2010

Happy New Year friends, family, hubbers and haters! Well, I have noticed my hub score getting lower and lower, so I figured it was about time I rejoined the land of the living and published....something. I really don't condone writing something just to write. Typically I think it's a bad idea. But, I have also noticed that sometimes the journalistic failures we think will be just experience end up being some of our most popular works to date. I have actually had a lot of great hub ideas lately, I'm making a list and checking it thrice, but I honestly have not had time. And my ideas always seem to come at midnight while I'm lying in bed trying to sleep, or at 10:30 when I'm getting ready to drift off to sleep thanks to the wonder drug Ambien, and I make it a rule not to write while under the influence of Ambien. Or get on the internet at all for that matter. Really bad things can happen. One of my favorite authors ever, Jen Lancaster, ordered a Barbie head from the internet while SWUIA (surfing while under influence of Ambien). So it's not just me.

Anyhoo, good ideas and narcotics aside, the main reason I have not written in a while is because I have been swamped at work. (Which is a good thing, I keep having to tell myself.) And also because I've been a little sore.

About two months ago, I was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel. I am not really sure if I am buying this diagnosis, because it entailed my physician talking to me for about 2 minutes, (mostly about my Ambien addiction), and then eyeballing my hands and arms. I am not even coming close to exaggerating. She did not physically touch my hands, wrists, arms, etc one time during this 15 minute visit (10 of which were spent in the waiting room trying to avoid the little boy coughing up a lung and wiping it on the seat next to me). But, she's the one with the medical degree, so she offered up the diagnosis and told me I have to go get some nerve conduction study to be sure, and that I will have to have surgery. "And that will be $108, thank you very much."

As an uninsured, self employed American, I will not be proceeding with said nerve study, as I have heard it will cost about $700. Neither will I be proceeding with surgery, mainly because I am uninsured (shhh, don't tell Obama), but also because I had surgery once, and unless my brains are literally falling out of my grape, I will never willingly go under the knife ever again. It was horrible. And it was only laproscopic. But seriously, I would rather give birth 4 times a day than ever have surgery again. (Now granted, I have kids really fast, but still.)

Ok, so now I am really ranting. I did have a point here....somewhere. Oh yeah, carpal tunnel. So I don't know if I actually have it or not, but I do spend 8 hours a day typing and clicking (for my real job) and I have a lot of hand,wrist and forearm pain. So I have really been trying to lay off the unnecessary typing as of late to see if it will help.

And it probably would have.

Except there is this one other thing.

I am a colossal clutz. (See my hub Unsmooth Moments if you don't believe me.)

So earlier this week, (I think about 3 days ago), I went outside to put something in the mailbox. I had my slippers on (my official uniform), and, unknown to me, it had been raining. I set one fluffily pink padded foot onto my wooden porch, and promptly slid down the three stairs, toppling into the flower bed in front of my house, landing on my right wrist right smack in the middle of a sprinkler head.

Holy mother of crap that frickin hurt. I am really hoping that no one in my neighborhood saw it. I imagine it was probably a sight, this unshowered, crazy haired woman in a fluffy pink bathrobe and matching slippers flying into a barren flower bed in the rain, swearing profusely, at noon on a Tuesday. I could practically hear the missionaries running in the other direction.

So I went inside and nursed my bruised ego with a cup of coffee and the last of the 2 pound box of chocolates my hubby gave me for Christmas, (you rock babe), took a couple Ibuprofen and got back to work. No writing that day.

So then the next day, I thought "ok, get through this work day, and you can write that rant you've had brewing all day". Then I headed upstairs to put my lunch dishes in the sink. Well,my fuzzy pink slipper caught on the wood floor lip at the top of the stairs and I slammed into the wood floor, face, shoulder, and yep...you guessed it, wrist first. There aren't even enough swear words to express how ticked I was. Luckily, no one saw this one, except my cat, who I swear was laughing at me. I just laid there for a few minutes, thinking to myself "gosh, I hope I can get up, cause my cell phone is downstairs and the kids won't be home for a good three hours!" I suddenly pictured myself in the starring role of the woman on the medicalert commercial who is lying on the floor, screeching, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" There's only one problem with this scenario. I am 32 for crying in the frickin dark. So I picked my sorry ass up off the floor, cleaned up the spaghetti sauce that I had managed to cake the dining room with, and got back to work. No writing that day.

So the last two nights, by the time 5 o'clock has rolled around, my shoulder and wrist has hurt so much, I could barely even function, let alone write. I even took some of those stupid muscle relaxers my doctor gave me, although they did nothing. I honestly probably would have committed murder last night in exchange for Vicodin. But I soldiered through, and proudly have taken nothing stronger than black coffee today. My wrist still hurts like hell, but I'm starting to get used to it.

So today was the day. I got all my work done, and headed downstairs, trying to decide which one of my fabulous ideas would take the form of a new daily rant. I really should call it my semi annual rant, because My Daily Rant is kind of misleading. But since I make no money from my writing, I don't really think it can be considered misleading advertising can it? Focus, Bucky, focus. Oh yeah. The narrowing of fabulous ideas. And then it happened.

I walked in the back door of my house and headed straight towards the basement stairs, eyes on my desk, idea in head, typing fingers poised. Suddenly, my fat, lazy, crazy cat shot off the back of the couch (where she had undoubtedly been lying for the past 8 hours), and did this zig-zag thing in front of me like she was trying to dodge bullets in a firefight.

Yes, people, I am sad to admit, I tripped over my freaking cat and fell down the stairs.

I will give you a minute to wipe away the tears and pick yourself up off the floor.

Ok,long enough.

So, my faithful fans, followers, and friends....I apologize profusely for not having written sooner. But I have been busy falling.

What is your favorite Sunflowerbucky hub/rant?

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Comments

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    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      Mit, thanks for the link (I needed a good falling photo!)

    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      Thanks Dohn! Don't feel bad for laughing, you aren't laughing at me, you're laughing with me!

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 

      9 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      OMG. This was hilarious, but I don't feel that bad about laughing as you've obviously can laugh about it (albeit in hindsight). I just hope that you don't have to get fitted for a helmet (unless you are planning to play for the New York Jets).

      I agree with Green Lotus. It's great to hear from you and gosh darnit, if it bothered you that your score dropped then so be it, if it lit a fire underneath you to get back at writing hubs, rant or not! So with that said, Welcome and good luck!

      Dohn

    • akirchner profile image

      Audrey Kirchner 

      9 years ago from Washington

      Massage therapy is an excellent route to go and something called friction massage which sounds very kinky but really isn't! You usually use ice but you can do it with just fingers and you actually rub against the muscle tendons (or across them)...that seemed to help me a lot and PT. I've done the chiropractic too but that did not seem to help mine as much as the massage therapy and the PT though I have a feeling it was psychological on the chiro! I kind of tensed up when some big buff guy got me in his intimate embrace and started doing his 'thing' - I even switched to a gal and that was just 'weird'! Not that I have any phobias or any problems (she says while twitching and looking around madly behind her).....good luck and take care of that. Bob hates it when mine really flares up as I have severely horrid looking big plastic braces that I have to wear to bed when it goes sour on me and usually he ends up with a bruise where I've turned over at night and clanked him on the head (or other parts) with it! Yikes...the guy must truly be in love.....it's hard to look sexy in a pretty black nightgown and big plastic braces though....

    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      Audrey, I remember your hub about getting stuck in your desk, we COULD do a comedy act! But since I am currently uninsured, it could get costly! I definitely am not getting surgery. I do have a brace and I am also looking into massage therapy and chiropractic as I am a big believer in both. The body is amazingly capable of healing itself. Surgery and drugs have their place, but in my opinion are over prescribed in this country. Thanks for stopping by, it's always a pleasure!

    • akirchner profile image

      Audrey Kirchner 

      9 years ago from Washington

      Good GOD woman - we could do a comedy duet! That really sounds like me on a 'good' day....but usually mine have objects involved that I either bounce off of or come crashing down on me for good measure. About the CTS though - you can get braces and they help more than all the surgery, nerve testing, etc. I have it on both sides but my left is worse and also have a bunch of other tendinitis in thumb, elbow, forearm, etc. I absolutely refuse to let someone cut on me and chances are if you continue to do the same work - guess what - it comes back! So what's the point? I'm not gonna give up my 'day job' or writing - so the braces work...Bob usually calls me the bionic woman. Stay safe....and maybe you should do what I do - I wear a helmet to work - and I work at home! Audrey

    • ehern33 profile image

      ehern33 

      9 years ago

      In an earlier comment I mentioned that it was hard to beleive you were that clumsy. After reading this, I think you are lucky to be alive.. LOL Actually I think your cat is lucky to be alive too.. Sorry and hope you feel better..

    • Mit Kroy profile image

      Mit Kroy 

      9 years ago from Georgia,USA

      In case you make this a habit, see link. .http://www.404.org/dive/

      Keep in hubbing!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 

      9 years ago

      Ouch...first thing you have to do is lose the slippers! I am so sorry you have been falling a lot but I want you to know that you made me laugh so hard I tripped over the cord from my computer. You are no longer alone in your agony!

    • Mit Kroy profile image

      Mit Kroy 

      9 years ago from Georgia,USA

      At least a padded stair case!

      Keep on hubbing! Be careful too!

    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      Tony, I think a padded room may be more suitable!

    • tony0724 profile image

      tony0724 

      9 years ago from san diego calif

      sunflowerbucky as a fan and a friend may I politely suggest training wheels ?

    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      daytripeer and ready, glad to entertain you as always!

    • profile image

      daytripeer 

      9 years ago

      I swear, I hope you are feeling better, but, I have to admit that I lmao reading about your misfortune. :-)

    • readytoescape profile image

      readytoescape 

      9 years ago from Central Florida

      Bucky,

      Nice rant, however I am not sure a diatribe directed at one’s own “challenges” is productive for the society at large, Certainly we are incredibly entertained by your antics, but unfortunately in your discourse you have unwittingly given the liberal progressives one more item, and about a thousand pages, to add to the healthcare bill, clumsiness.

      Ordinarily, in saner times this would not be of issue, but I can foresee this impacting me personally and harmfully since for years I have been able to cover the lack of nimbleness with the consumption of scotch as a viable excuse. I must qualify my remarks in that my level of dexterity does not appear to be as hampered as yours, it could be only because I do not wear fluffy pink slippers, and that our cat now resides under a tree in the back yard. I have also found it convenient to live in Florida, where there are no basements.

      Yet given your level of admitted lack of adroitness a change in venue may not help your condition.

      I suggest you add alcohol as a medicinal supplement the benefits of which will provide pain alleviation, increased creativity, alacrity, high spirits and feasible excuse for the falling.

      Funny Hub…..well done.

    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      Wrist splints and better shoes, that IS funny! Thinkin I might want to lose the slippers!

    • camlo profile image

      Camlo De Ville 

      9 years ago from Cologne, Germany

      I get different ads to you, being in Germany at the moment. The ads here on your Hub are for shoes with good grip, and for wrist splints. Not joking, really ...

    • Green Lotus profile image

      Hillary 

      9 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      I think it's funny.

    • profile image

      Bonnie  

      9 years ago

      AHHHHHHHHHH Shit,

      I had a good message going and flip hit the wrong key

      well the jest of it was maybe you better have that wrist x-rayed remember I have a hump all because some one we both know did not think it need it because there was no way a big ole rock falling on my wrist could have cracked it !! WELL DON"T beleive them go have it checked.

      I have been leaving you alone because you have been so busy ,little did I know it was practicing falling down ,what the hell you going out for stunts for the movie stars?

      I think we can all understand the pain and agony you have gone through and bear with you ..

      CAN"T WE FELLOW HUBBERS????? This my daughternlaw so YES WE CAN AND I BETTER GET SOME WE HEAR YA ON THAT MOM OR some one needs to start issuing checks if she is to work injured !!.

      Ok now did I hurt otr help with all of that??

      Love you sweetie is there anything I can do ?

      Love YOU

    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      Does anyone else think it's funny as hell that they put a LifeStation medicalert ad on my hub? What will be really funny is if that is the first ad I ever get paid for! Thanks for stopping by camlo, and for your concern. I am just fine. I am so used to being a clutz, it hardly hurts anymore!

    • camlo profile image

      Camlo De Ville 

      9 years ago from Cologne, Germany

      Hi Sunflowerbucky! I wish you a Happy New Year! And I hope you get better soon.

      We might complain about the health system here in Germany, and in England too -- where I also spend a lot of time, but when I hear about the US system, I realise how lucky we are.

      And I know about Carpel Tunnel Syndrome now I just looked it up, and Ambien. Amazing how much we learn from our fellow Hubbers.

      As I say, I wish you a good recovery -- your Hub Score's, too :-)

      All the best, Camlo

    • sunflowerbucky profile imageAUTHOR

      sunflowerbucky 

      9 years ago from Small Town, USA

      Thanks Green Lotus! I keep telling myself I don't give a flyin fritter about my hub score, but I tend to lie to myself! THanks for the kind words!

    • Green Lotus profile image

      Hillary 

      9 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Welcome back Sunflower and a Happy New Year to you! Sorry for all the trauma. If it's any consolation, I have been posting new hubs, but despite the fact, my hub score keeps slipping too, even with a top 20 hubber win, so I've decided to ignore it all. I have missed your uplifting rants. Glad you're back. Feel better real soon!

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