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Jackass 3-D

Updated on April 3, 2013

In the words of Red Foreman, from "That 70's Show", I have only one thing to say to the entire cast of "Jackass 3-D"...YOUR A DUMBASS!

"Jackass 3-D" is a perfect example of how you don't need a great story, or even interesting characters, to make a movie successful. No, going by their logic, you just need a bunch of guys that have the brain capacity of a five year old, and show them doing moronic stupid crap. By stupid crap, I mean really stupid crap. I'm talking about stuff that would even make the "Three Stooges" seem like civilize gentlemen. For those that are unfamiliar with the "Jackass" series, it was originally a popular reality show on MTV. During the show, a bunch of men would do stupid things that ranged on the edge of vulgar and disgusting. Such vulgar things like drinking and eating each others' feces and/or urine, to even showing them doing stuff that's down right dangerous. Such stunts like skateboarding on ice, or getting thrown twenty feet in the air while being in a port-o-potty. Some of you reading this are probably wondering, how can you make something like that into a movie? Let alone a trilogy?

The simple answer to that question is they just basically do the same crap, as they did on MTV, but there's a key difference. The difference is that they don't censor or delete anything. That's right. Instead of blurring out a man's genitals, when he gets hit in the nuts, you'll see his entire junk before he gets hit. Heck, they don't even bother blurring out the scenes where the guy takes a crap on a fake volcano, or when that old guy wiped his a** on the street. They even have the indecency to show a girl, who looked suspiciously under age, making out with a senior citizen, as part of some twisted joke to play on strangers they ran into. As it seems, nothing is sacred in "Jackass", as they'll do just about anything to make you laugh even if it hurts them.

Hopefully, that gives everyone a general idea of what the series is about, as the entire movie series is like this. No script. No story. Just a bunch of morons doing random stupid crap to make you laugh. By the way, this new film is shot entirely in 3-D. Oh joy. Now, not only do we get to see Steve-O or Johnny Knoxville get hit in the nuts frequently during this movie, we get to see it happen in 3-D. Whoopee! Heck, throw in the slow motion cinematography in there while we're at it, along with replays of certain scenes, and you have yourself, "Jackass 3-D." Oh boy, this is exactly what I've always wanted to see in 3-D. A bunch of guys getting hit in the nuts, midget fighting, and seeing guys take a crap is exactly what I've always wanted to see in a movie. Now, my life is complete, as I couldn't be any happier. For those that can't tell by now, I'm being very sarcastic, as this film is perfect example of how low our standards have gotten in terms of entertainment value.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind low brow physical comedy, as I grew up watching a lot of violent cartoons like "Ren & Stimpy" and "Looney Tunes"; along with a lot of "Three Stooges" type comedies. However, if I'm forced to watch guys drinking their own damn urine and even watching them throw dildos at the screen just for a few cheap laughs, then that's where I draw the line. Sure, the film had it's moments, but there's only so many times a guy can get hit in the nuts or the face in slow motion, before you start to realize how moronically stupid the movie is. Seriously, is this what our society deems entertainment these days?

By the way, I apologize to any five year old out there, along with their parents, for what I said earlier. Saying the cast of "Jackass 3-D" had the same brain capacity of a five year old is too much of an insult to the children, as they're way smarter than these guys. Therefore, I apologize to them, as Steve-O, Johnny Knoxville and the rest of the "Jackass" crew are a bunch of freaking idiots with the IQ of a freaking stick. In fact, if it wasn't for my policy of analyzing films to see if it appeals to it's target audience, then I would have given this film a straight up zero. However, since I'm forced to acknowledge the target audience's liking to the film, then I'd have to give this movie a one out of four.

Not a particularly great movie but if you just want a bunch of cheap laughs, with no story at all, then look no further than this one. For those that like to have their comedies contain a lot more substance, then I think it's best to pass on this.

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    • Stevennix2001 profile imageAUTHOR

      Steven Escareno 

      7 years ago

      Wow, I must say that you left me probably the most colorful comment that I've ever had on this site. Where do I even begin to answer you? Look Tre, it's fairly obvious we don't agree on the same film, but technically speaking..that's exactly what a film review is. You're basically reading someone's interpretation and/or opinion of a film. I don't expect my readers to always agree with my opinions on every movie, as that would be just ridiculous. Hell, I don't even agree all the time with most critics either. However, if my reviews help someone in deciding whether or not to see a movie, then it makes me happy knowing that I could help.

      As far as grammar goes, I'll admit it's something that I need to work on, as I have been improving vastly in my writing over the time since I've started writing reviews on hubpages.

      As for the rest of your comment, I'm just going to say you really need to get a life. If a film critic gives a film you like a bad review, and you feel the need to throw a fit like this, then I really feel sorry for you. Who cares?

      You think I always agree with everything Roger Ebert or Peter Travers have to say? No, I don't, as I can list a ton of films where I disagreed with them. However, I do respect their opinions, and I never hold their reviews against them. After all, the important thing is if you like the movie, then that's all that matters. Like I said before, who cares? Does it really bother you that much that a person, whom you're never going to meet in real life anyway, doesn't like the same movies you do? Seriously? The important thing is that you liked the movie, so that's all that should matter.

      By the way, I don't work at Target, but I appreciate the advice anyway. Although, I doubt I'll be following your advice, as I typically don't listen to guys that get this easily offended over a movie review. lol. However, thanks anyways. lol. You take care and thanks for reading my article. Although it sounds like you hated it, I'm glad you took the time anyway to read it. Thanks.

    • profile image

      Tre 

      7 years ago

      Your a fucking idiot. If for a second you felt somewhat intelligent for your half ass break down of this film then you need to go back to high school English. The movie is what it is. You on the other hand made me feel dumber for having to read your dimwitted analysis of what is suppose to be a dick and fart joke comedy. You should be beaten within an inch of your life and then resuscitated by having someone shit in your mouth. Don't quit your day job working at target and pursue a career as a movie critic.

    • Stevennix2001 profile imageAUTHOR

      Steven Escareno 

      8 years ago

      Your welcome fullerman, and thank you for stopping by. I hope you enjoy the movie more than i did when you see it.

    • Fullerman5000 profile image

      Ryan Fuller 

      8 years ago from Louisiana, USA

      thanks for the review. i may just wait til this comes out on dvd to see it.

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