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VIDEO: Kim Kardashian's Great Butt Dances With The Stars

Updated on October 13, 2009

Who doesn't love Kim Kardashian? She has a great figure, no shame, and is supporting her family by making them work on reality television. 'Keeping up with the Kardashian's' has been a great show, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's right up there with the first season of 'Survivor' in centuries to come when our current civilization has given way to a race of cat people who have harnessed many of our old technologies, but still can't find any plausible reasonable explanation for reality tv whatsoever. (I feel your pain, imaginary cat people.)

Kim Kardashian was added to the most recent season of 'Dancing with the Stars' and I think its safe to say that the experiment has been a roaring success. An inexperienced dancer with a reputation for tawdry encounters, Kim has a great deal of negative press to overcome, and she has done it with style ma cheries.

Let's look at some of Kim's first dances on the show, and then cut to me and mittens for an in depth analysis, like they do on the sports shows, except with less ass grabbing. (Unless you ask me nicely. Real nicely.)

Kim on the Foxtrot

It's her first time out on the dance floor, and we were all suitably impressed. (We being me and mittens.) In spite of an amusing intro tape demonstrating her deadly combination of klutziness and ditziness, Kim manages to make it all around the dance floor without stabbing her partner in the throat with a stiletto, which was really the most likely outcome.

Kim Mambos

Can one use the word 'Mambo' as a verb? I'm going to do it anyway. Try and stop me. Ha! Anyway, Kim's Mambo is a little disappointing for all concerned because she failed to shake her large bottom as much as she could have done. The judges were bitterly disappointed. A fair reaction? Possibly, possibly not. I get the impression she could have stripped to a bikini and rubbed her crotch in their face and they wouldn't have found it sexy enough.

The next major Kardashian event was a cut foot. Kim claims that she put her foot in a broken table? I don't know that's what she said. At least, I think that's what she said. It doesn't matter. The point is, Kim was wounded. Wounded I tell you! Yet, like the trooper she is, she was prepared to dance for America and the world.

If the reality tv thing doesn't work out, she can totally be my helper monkey. I'd be proud to have her.


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