Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas

Director: Darren Doane

Writers: Darren Doane, Cheston Hervey

Cast: Kirk Cameron, Darren Doane, Bridgette Cameron, David Shannon, Raphi Henly, Ben Kientz

Synopsis: Kirk is enjoying the annual Christmas party extravaganza thrown by his sister until he realizes he needs to help out Christian, his brother-in-law, who has a bad case of the bah-humbugs. Kirk's fresh look at Christmas provides Christians the chance to see Christ is where He has always been: at the center of our Christmas celebrations and traditions.

MPAA Rating: Rated PG for some thematic elements

0 / 10

Pros:

- While the points that Kirk brought up to defend the traditions of Christmas were interesting, that still doesn't change the fact that this was arguably the most boring movie that I've ever seen.

Cons:

- Acting was subpar.

- Kirk Cameron basically plays himself.

- The plot for this movie is non existent, as it's basically just two dudes in a car talking about Christmas for eighty minutes.

- The editing in this movie was lousy, as there's a lot of pointless scenes that never go anywhere. Not to mention the dance scene at the end dragged on forever.

- Lousy direction.

- All the characters are either annoying or unlikable.

If I ever have to watch this movie again, then I swear I'm going to kill myself. I'm not joking either, nor is this any kind of euphemism. I literally mean if I ever have to watch this boring piece of s*** again, then I'm going to buy a gun at the nearest Wal-Mart, and I'm going to blow my f***ing brains out. That's how god awful this movie is.

Words can't describe the utter torture it was watching such garbage, but I'll try my best to elaborate. The story starts off with Kirk Cameron sitting by the fireplace. The surroundings are festive and nice; decorated out for the holiday season with Christmas stockings and all. He starts to go on some long winded speech on how much he loves Christmas, and how other people in the world want to try to ruin it for everyone else. He mentions how some people don't mind others celebrating Christmas, as long they keep it themselves. He also mentions how other people within the Christian community don't like the festive decorations around Christmas in general, as they state that it doesn't value the true meaning of Christmas.

From here, the film transitions to a party on Christmas Eve. Almost everyone is having a good time; except for Kirk's brother in law, who sees the decorations of Christmas to be nothing more than a bastardization of what the holiday is really all about, which is the birth of Jesus Christ..

He eventually retires to his car to avoid the party, but Kirk finds him. They talk for a bit, as they engage in a theological discussion about Christmas. The brother in law moans about how Christmas celebrates a pagan holiday, the tree doesn't make sense, and how Santa has hijacked Christmas. Typical crap most cynical people would bring up about the holiday. One by one, Kirk addresses those concerns with various passages from the bible and alleged historical events.

As Kirk defends each tradition of Christmas like Santa and etc, we're given re-enactments of everything he's describing. And that's basically the entire freaking film in a nutshell. While I'll admit it was interesting seeing Kirk defending each of the stereotypical trademarks of the holiday season, it was also boring.

Instead of it flowing like a movie with a three act structure, this felt like nothing more than a pretentious lecture if anything. Not to mention the fact there's a lot of pointless scenes that don't go anywhere. For instance. Before Kirk's brother in law retires to his car, he's confronted by a coworker talking about how the company is discontinuing wacky t-shirt Friday or whatever, which has essentially NOTHING to do with the rest of the damn story. And to make matters worse, it's only brought up twice in the movie. This subplot never goes anywhere, and the second time it's brought up is for a joke that has an unfunny payoff that hardly makes it worth bringing up to begin with.

And speaking of pointless dragged out scenes, the ending seems to go on forever. Just when you think the film is going to end off on one of those over the top Christmas cliched happy endings, it doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I usually love it when movies surprise me, but this is one instance I wish it didn't. Instead of giving us the cliche ending we usually get from movies like this, we get an ending where all the characters start to break dance in the living room.

It wouldn't be so bad if it was only for a minute, but this dance scene goes on forever. The dance routine serves no purpose to the story, and it comes out of nowhere. It's almost like the filmmakers needed to fill in that eighty minute run time so badly that they padded the dance routine unnecessarily.

And to make matters worse, the acting in this movie often ranges from mediocre to downright terrible. Kirk Cameron basically plays himself in the film, while everyone else phones it in.

Of course, it doesn't help that all the characters are virtually unlikable. And in the case of those coworkers b****ing about tacky shirt Friday being taken away, some can just be downright annoying.

Seriously, it's almost amazing how god awful this movie is. As much as I bashed other films like "Jem and the Holograms" and "Fifty Shades of Grey" for being bad movies, "Saving Christmas" makes them both look like Oscar contenders by comparison. As bad as those other movies were, they were at least freaking movies that did have something of a story. This film doesn't even have that, as it barely has a plot. All the movie happens to be is nothing more than watching two guys having a conversation in a car about Christmas, with a few re-enactment scenes here and there.

Overall, I wouldn't advise anyone to see this movie. Hell if Santa Claus was real, I'd be telling him, "Don't give naughty kids lumps of coal for Christmas. Give them a DVD/Blue Ray copy of "Saving Christmas" instead. That'll scare kids into behaving because this film is worse than death itself if you ask me. Don't bother to see this garbage unless you're just curious to see how bad it is....