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Let’s Take Away Every Celebrity’s Driver’s License Starting With George Michael

Updated on July 8, 2010


So this past weekend at Gay Pride in London, George Michael crashes his car into a store front. The news was quick to report that it was a “posh” shoppe and I’m sure that the people who own it are pleased that they’re being listed as the “posh shoppe” George Michael ran into (insert eye roll). But with Lindsay Lohan going to jail after her violation on her probation (I sound like someone who has been to prison, “The edification of the mummification of the masturbation of the sentence heretofore…”) I started to think (as you know that I do) let’s take away every celebrity’s driver’s license starting with George Michael – Don’t Get Me Started!

I get that celebrities should be able to drive if they want to but time and time again they’ve shown that they just can’t. Think of all the trouble it would have saved Mel Gibson (well, until he opened up his mouth with his recent tirade on his girlfriend which included several times of calling her the ”N” word but also included apparently threatening to burn down her house after screwing her!) that guy just needs to be locked up, period. The thing is that these people make plenty of money to have a driver and in most cases a car and a driver so why don’t they just suck it up and do it?

I personally would love to have a car and driver. I would sit in the back seat and give them advice about how they’re driving and then tell them to take alternative routes and probably go through them like water (i.e., Holly Hunter in Broadcast News)but I think that if I had one it would get me out of a lot of trouble. Not only would I not get traffic tickets but I wouldn’t have to take the glare of my fellow motorists who for some reason aren’t all that wild about having a red Mini Cooper up their ass! I would love to leave the driving to someone else and when these celebs are going out on the town I don’t get why they don’t want to have someone else driving for them.

Let’s face it, for some of them I think that a judge should just make it mandatory. Take away their licenses and hold them at the county courthouse until they can’t get arrested in show business and are now the spokesperson for a brand of beef jerky. When they hit that point in their career then they can go ahead and have their driver’s license back. I’ll sit on the board of these hearings. Mel Gibson – denied, George Michael –denied, Joyce DeWitt – approved, give her the license back. See how simple it is?

Celebrities surround themselves with a bunch of sycophants they call an “entourage” who just tell them how right and wonderful they are all day long. Can’t any of these leeches, these “hanger-oners” drive? I mean, someone in the group must have more skills than complaining that the Pellegrino isn’t room temperature, right?

I’m going to make a vow right now that when I become famous, I mean really famous, that I will get a driver. You may hear stories of me in the tabloids for other types of exploits but the one embarrassment I will never suffer is getting out of a car showing that I have no underwear on nor will I be stopped for driving infractions which include drunken driving or running into a “posh shoppe.” Let’s take away every celebrity’s driver’s license starting with George Michael – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • sjk6101983 profile image

      sjk6101983 7 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

      My grandpa was a police and fire fighter commissioner for about five years, and he always used to say, "Driving is a right, priviledge, and a honor, not something you get out of a Cracker Jack Box at a baseball game. If that's how you think life is going to be, people are going to hand you things or bail you out all the time, you're in for a major disappointment because real life doesn't work that way."

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Paradise - Right?!?

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      LOL!!!! You really hit the nail on the head. I've wondered that very same thing--esp. Mel Gibson, the man could certainly afford a chauffeur, he hardly needs to go around driving drunk and getting arrested, with all his prejudices exposed!

    • ladyjane1 profile image

      ladyjane1 7 years ago from Texas

      I knooooooow I have been saying this FOREVER! Whats wrong with these people. They have all the money in the world to have kick ass parties at home for one thing and then if they wanna go to a club they have enough money to have a car and driver to drive there skanky asses anywhere they wanna go, but instead they wanna put others in danger by getting behind a wheel. I dont get it. I do know that Lindsy Lohan needs some growing up to do asap before she is the next in line at the celebrity morgue. Great hub. I agree totally, Cheers.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Amber - but of course I saw that it!!

    • profile image

      Amber 7 years ago

      In the immortal words of Edina (from Absolutely Fabulous): "Firing the driver was rather a false economy, now wasn't it sweetie?" I really hope you saw that episode. I want a driver too. I don't even get tickets as a rule, I just would rather knit than drive, and unlike most celebrities, I don't 'believe' I can do both at the same time.

      P.S. Joyce DeWitt was always my favorite.

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Good Morning Mr. Java-Mate!!

      Okay, you had me believing (?) there may be some merit to this celebrity-wide ban on drivers licenses until you mentioned your own traffic tickets!! (?)

      Actually, there is some merit to your idea!! I think most bad behavior which puts a person fairly before a judge should include an automatic suspended license!!

      Their second offense would include revoking their license!!

      There is a corellation between bad behavior and bad driving!! It doesn't matter what you drive, as long as you drive it safely!!

      Next time I'm in Vegas I am going to have my 'driver' be on the look out for a bright red Mini-Coop!!

      Have a GREAT day!!

      Blessings always, Earth Angel!!

    • Seakay profile image

      Seakay 7 years ago from Florida

      Speaking of celebrities, it looks as though Lindsay Lohan will be cooling her heels for awhile. She won't be driving ANYWHERE until her jail time is served. Do we think these people will learn their lesson from all their tragic tales? I don't think so!!

      You go boy! Dance on their heads!