ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Lindsay and Britney - Hollywood's Queens of Rehab

Updated on April 12, 2011

Can rehab really help this?

It didn't help this...


Rehab, it's a place to get clean, to turn your life around, to dream the dreams you used to dream and to get high on life. Celebrities end up in rehab more than your average bear because for some reason, having everything you ever dreamed of tends to make you try and mess it up entirely.

I guess the reason for that is something they discuss in LA's many rehab facilities. In light of the recent spate of DUI's I'm halfway considering moving to LA and opening a facility myself.

Two of the most famous young celebrities to grace a rehab facility are Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. Between them they made Sandra Bullock's character in the movie 28 Days look like a perfect rehab candidate.

Britney went to rehab after shaving her head bald and being pressured by her manager and Kevin Federline who threatened to go for full custody, knowing very well that he would probably get it after Britney's spontaneous transformation into an enraged umbrella wielding zombie, not to mention her public displays of genital nudity.

Britney insisted the entire time that she didn't need to be in rehab, that her problems stemmed from post partum depression, and that she drank herself under the table in moderation only. After trying to kill herself with a bed sheet, Britney was released and is now making a poor semblance of a comeback, performing small shows in which she reportedly lip syncs, chews gum whilst 'singing', and stares vacantly into space. Not what you might call a total success.

Lindsay on the other hand, went into rehab after doctors said that her liver was so messed up that they were surprised she was still alive.

Lindsay was totally enthusiastic about her rehab experience, as was her mother, who flew across the country with a team of reporters, torturing them the whole way by telling them how proud she was of her daughter for getting her life together.

Now her closest friends are selling her out, saying that she likes to strip down to her thong and snort cocaine off toilet seats whilst telling everyone who she's sleeping with in loud and proud tones.

Sometimes, Rehab just isn't enough. Normal rehab anyway. What these queens need is a good dose of hardcore rehab, preferably at a facility located somewhere in Russia where they're not so concerned with human rights and are much bigger fans of corporal punishment. A good caning. That would help.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Ha 6 years ago

      Britney has no effect on me what a looser

    • profile image

      Mom im scared 6 years ago

      Britney was only hot as a teen then got surgey yikes

    • profile image

      Mom im scared 6 years ago


    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 10 years ago

      Not unless you dip them in wax...

    • profile image

      ClipDrone 10 years ago

      I am getting tired of ole' Britney. It's so sad too - she USED to be so HOT. But hot girls don't last forever.

    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 11 years ago

      Britney does seem to have that effect on people doesn't she...

    • Robin profile image

      Robin Edmondson 11 years ago from San Francisco

      The pictures alone made me laugh....very funny!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)