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MST3K: The Movies

Updated on September 9, 2015

Introduction

Mystery Science Theater 3000: a Nostalgia Trip talked about the overall setting for the show Mystery Science Theater 3000. Mystery Science Theater 3000: the Shorts talked about the shorts that played in between watching certain movies. Mystery Science Theater 3000: the Characters talked about the characters who were forced to watch all of the old movies along with the viewer. In this article the main subject will be the movies themselves. As said in previous articles, Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a show where the characters were trying to find a movie that was so bad that it could be weaponized and used for world domination. Realistically, none of the movies were really that bad, but they all had an obvious decrease in quality compared to modern films. This was understandable in that all of these movies were made at a time when modern cinematic innovations were not created. Of course, some of these movies were popular in that their quality was so low that people instantly knew their names. For example, in the 1988 science-fiction film Space Mutiny, it was a blatant attempt to rip-off of Star Wars, but the running gag of coming up with nicknames for the main protagonist was entertaining to watch. In the 1969 film Gamera vs. Guiron was a rip-off of old Godzilla movies, but a certain song made this film both awesome and hilarious to watch. Speaking of Godzilla, the 1973 movie Godzilla vs. Megalon there was a song in there as well. Which was awesome.

Space Mutiny

It was ironic how Mystery Science Theater 3000 sometimes saw movies that took place in space, given that everyone was on the Satellite of Love in Outer Space. However, in the movie Space Mutiny, while the film took place in Outer Space, it was not that big a deal. In a season 8 episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 dealt with Mike and the robots watching Space Mutiny. The basic premise was that The Southern Sun was a ship filled with people who were an attempt to populate a new planet after Earth was unable to support the growing number of Humans. Filled with thousands of people, The Southern Sun was the home for entire generations of people. And while some people were alright with living on The Southern Sun, the antagonist of this movie wanted to force The Southern Sun to pick a planet to land and inhabit. Mostly for wealth and power. Of course, like most space movies, somebody had to be the hero and stop the people who were sabotaging The Southern Sun's voyage. That protagonist's name was Dave Ryder. Which the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 spent time mocking by coming up with different nicknames for him. However, like most protagonists in science-fiction movies, Dave Ryder had to save the day by killing off the instigators of the sabotage attempts on The Southern Sun. Of course, as a way to attract a sequel, the antagonist ultimately survives. Not that this movie legitimately deserved a sequel. But the lowered quality was funny when it was commented upon.

Slab Bulkhead. Fridge LargeMeat. Punt SpeedChunk. Butch DeadLift. Bold BigFlank. Splint ChestHair. Flint IronStag. Bolt VanderHuge. Thick McRunFast. Blast HardCheese. Buff DrinkLots. Slam. Hunk. Trunk SlamChest. Fist RockBone. Lump BeefBroth.
Slab Bulkhead. Fridge LargeMeat. Punt SpeedChunk. Butch DeadLift. Bold BigFlank. Splint ChestHair. Flint IronStag. Bolt VanderHuge. Thick McRunFast. Blast HardCheese. Buff DrinkLots. Slam. Hunk. Trunk SlamChest. Fist RockBone. Lump BeefBroth. | Source
The theatrical release poster for Gamera vs. Guiron.
The theatrical release poster for Gamera vs. Guiron. | Source

Gamera vs. Guiron

Japan has made itself popular when it came to making monster movies. Referred to as Kaiju in Japan, these monster movies basically had two giant monsters fight each other until one of them died. Usually in some city in Japan. One example in a Kaiju film was the 1969 movie Gamera vs. Guiron. This was also one Kaiju movie Mystery Science Theater 3000 commented on. Gamera vs. Guiron began with a group of children discovering a spaceship. Unfortunately, the spaceship started moving on its own, sending some of the children on a wild space adventure through Outer Space. On top of suddenly flying through Outer Space, the boys were also in danger from asteroids. Fortunately, the titular Gamera, a giant turtle kaiju, arrived to save the children from the asteroids. After being saved from the asteroids, the two boys trapped in the spaceship decided to have some fun with Gamera by racing him. But before the kids could play with Gamera, the spaceship suddenly transported the boys to another part of the galaxy, far from Gamera. But like most science-fiction movies, the spaceship eventually landed on some alien planet with its own civilization. Soon, the viewer got to see Huiron, the antagonistic kaiju of this movie, fight and kill another monster violently. Soon, the two boys met two alien women who seemed interested in using them to attract Gamera to their planet. Of course, one of the plot twists of this movie was that these aliens were planning to cannibalize the children. Long story short Gamera saves the day, all of the alien inhabitants die violently, and the two boys manage to return to Earth. A silly movie with a silly song thanks to the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Gamera! Gamera!Gamera is really neat!Gamera is filled with meat!We've been eating Gamera!

The original Japanese poster for Godzilla vs. Megalon.
The original Japanese poster for Godzilla vs. Megalon. | Source

Godzilla vs. Megalon

Godzilla, the King of the Monsters, was the entity who made the Kaiju movie genre what it is today. He made it so that every movie where he or another giant monster appeared there would be a big fight, he made it so that every other kaiju had unique abilities that could potentially break a lot of things, and he made it so that various structures would be destroyed in every movies. Of course, in the movie Godzilla vs. Megalon, an underground nuclear test conducted by humans caused most of the problems. Due to the shockwaves of the nuclear test, a lot of people were negatively affected. Like undersea people who were angry that the people of the surface world for making their lives difficult. So these undersea people planned on using an inventor's robot to help guide their own monster, Megalon, to attack the surface world in retaliation. Fortunately, the inventor and his friends were able to get their robot, named Jet Jaguar, back under their control; but not before Jet Jaguar guided Megalon to attack parts of Tokyo. Even more unfortunate was that the Japanese military, armed with some futuristic weapons, were unable to stop Megalon's rampage. Fortunately, the scientists were able to team-up with the Japanese military to regain control of Jet Jaguar. And used him to summon Godzilla from his home. But since Godzilla could not reach Megalon on time, Jet Jaguar had to deal with Megalon by itself. Which it did. By spontaneously growing into a giant. But the undersea people had allies who wanted to see them win, so they decided to send another giant monster, Gigan, to fight Jet Jaguar. Long story short Godzilla eventually arrives and forces Gigan to retreat, Megalon got defeated by Godzilla drop kicking and throwing him around, Megalon retreats, and Godzilla and Jet Jaguar became friends.

Movies

Mystery Science Theater was a show that really exposed the less awesome aspects of early film making. Some of the movies were weird, some of the movies had questionable plots, some of the characters were portrayed as idiots, and some events were somewhat annoying and cliché. But Mystery Science Theater managed to make these movies somewhat bearable because it had interesting characters watch these movies with the viewer. And comment on them constantly.

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    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 

      3 years ago from Oklahoma

      I was a huge fan of this series.

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