Melancholia is a Cancer of a Movie
Released in late 2011, Melancholia stars Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, John Hurt and others in a bad, boring, movie about the end of life as we know it. As you try to watch it, it is so long winded, like a cancer, you can't stand the pain, so you reach for the fast forward on the DVD. The movie also proves there is a true disconnect sometimes with movie reviewers and everyone else. I am sure when these stars read the script it sounded engaging and interesting, as the story does make you think about the circumstance.
Oh, yeah, the movie is about how Earth and another planet, Melancholia, are projected to narrowly miss one another but the worse does happen, they collide and all life on Earth ends. This film has few special effects, no major natural disasters, no cities falling into the sea, very little death and destruction, no chaos or mass hysteria. And why should they? The scientists have said 100% sure, no collision will occur. Just life goes on.
The film opens up Kirsten getting married. It stays in that rut for about 40 minutes, I am not kidding. First, the couple is late, then, there is social gatherings, then she notices far off, Melancholia, looks like a star. Then, she gets depressed and jumps in the bathtub, why? Maybe to provide some intrigue. Then, the couple finally gets marries, then they dance, then finally they are ready for sex in the bedroom, then, maybe not. Kirsten (Justine, in the movie) then decides she made a mistake and then screws her bosses son on the golf course. Then, feels bad about it. Then, confronts her boss, who recently promoted her, that she could never stand the asshole and resigns. The bride and groom split up. Then, the movie finally changes location to her sister's home, Claire, who is married to Kiefer, a scientist.
What has this to do with the planet collision? Absolutely, nada. No entiendo. Ay, caramba!!! But, it is someone's depressing life. The movie continues and finally the pace picks up (it has to!). By this time, everyone is somewhat aware of the planet approaching because it is getting larger and larger. But life goes on some more, the sisters ride horses, drive cars, argue (you can tell it is a love\hate sisterhood), sleep, watch the planet, ride more horses. Justine becomes more depressed and sleeps. Clair begins to get nervous and afraid of the planet as it looms very large but Keifer continues to reassures her until he makes a recalculation and determines the planet that seemed to have passed and was getting further away, is actually coming back for impact. What does he do? He says nothing and kills himself. This leaves the sisters and a little boy.
Justine already knows the end is coming, instinctively, I mean, she is depressed all the time. Claire discovers her husband dead with the horses and after determining the planet is getting larger rather than smaller, panics. She tries to escape (where, exactly?) in an electric golf cart until it dies, then, she and the boy walk back home.
The only thing the three can do, as well as all mankind, is to build a tepee of sticks and sit inside until Melancholia and Earth collide. Then, the movie credits run.
Reviewers gave this movie accolades and 4-5 stars in ratings calling it a beautiful, depressing movie. Granted, visually, many scenes are stunning. But the story line is boring and depressing. The only intriguing thing that does lure one to see it is the sci-fi connection, which is actually the backdrop, for without it, this movie is one star or a grade of D.
Special effects are almost nil, they are good, however. The horror is that there was a lot of speculation around the same time when the film was released that a very large asteroid might impact Earth. NASA tried to downplay any possibilities. All sorts of warnings were on the Internet. Luckily, it did not happen but I can't say the same for this movie.