Movie Review – Snakes on a Plane (2006 – United States)
Don't blame the snakes for this turkey!
Snakes on a Plane is a poignant cautionary tale about a diverse group of smart, well-meaning and innocent snakes who are abducted, drugged, and forced onto a plane with a bunch of humans, all of whom are clear and obvious morons.
You really want to watch this movie? Seriously? Okay, here you go, knock yourself out:
Even the trailer is unintentionally hilarious:
The snake is saying, "Hey, are you going to eat those peanuts?" a line that was edited out of the movie
A band of snakish brothers
Sensing their peril in being at the mercy of the idiotic humans, the snakes—although of many different species, backgrounds and ethnicities—band together in a valiant but doomed attempt to wrest control of the plane from the whining, self-involved humans.
Interested in watching a good scary movie?
- Movie Review – Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 – United States)
Way better than the 1978 remake, this original 1956 thriller resonates with anyone who dares to be creative, different or buck the soulless status quo.
A snake minding its own business
Single-handedly dumbing down the FBI
Leading the imbecilic human herd is FBI agent Neville Flynn (played by the utterly shameless Samuel L. Jackson, a decent actor who evidently says, “Yes!” to every script that crosses his desk, since his impossibly long list of credits includes the astonishingly terrible The Exorcist III, The Return of Superfly and Jumper).
Samuel L. Jackson , who has denied that he was paid extra for each time he said "G**D*****" during the course of Snakes on a Plane
An awful movie in search of a less-terrible ending
Tinseltown rumor has it that an alternate ending to Snakes on a Plane was shot in which the plucky snakes win, fly the plane to a suitably tropical location and create a new society in which they all live happily ever after, contently coexisting and amiably sharing meals made from whatever stupid human wanders into their midst. Alas, the producers instead saw fit to use a sad ending in which the snakes—who I was rooting for from the opening sequence—die horribly and needlessly. For that reason, this is not a film for young or impressionable snakes, or for humans of any age, since it is arguably even a worse movie than Jumper, which is saying a lot!
Copyright © Roberta Lee 2012. All rights reserved.
(I am an artist and the author of the Suburban Sprawl series of novels as well as two nonfiction books. Find out more about my work at RobertaLeeArt.com.)
A snake having a really bad day
Genre: Action & Adventure, Horror, Mystery & Suspense
Running Time: 1 hr. 46 min.
Directed By: David R. Ellis
Written By: John Heffernan
In Theaters: Aug 18, 2006 Wide
On DVD: Jan 2, 2007
Box Office: $33.9M
Distributed By: New Line Cinema
Samuel L. Jackson - Neville Flynn
Julianna Margulies - Claire Miller
Nathan Phillips -Sean Jones
Bobby Cannavale - Hank Harris
Flex Alexander - Three G's