ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Movie review: Machete Kills

Updated on October 1, 2013

There's nothing more dangerous than a sharp knife. Yes guns can cause a bit of damage, and bombs can make quite an impression too, not forgetting how grizzly bears can be if they get their paw claws on you, but all these things can't take away anything from what a sharp and pointy knife can do. In fact probably the only thing worse than having a knife wielded at you is if it's being held by a bad-tempered grizzly.

As the title suggests, a fairly large knife features, among many other weapons, in director Robert Rodriguez' sequel to 2010's gloriously gory Machete, which sees Danny Trejo once again return as Machete 'he slices, he dices' Cortez.

There's no such thing as a quiet life when your name is Machete (Trejo); just when you squash one drug cartel, another one pops up. But that's the least of his problems. He gets a call from the President of the US of A himself (credited as Carlos Estevez AKA Charlie Sheen) who asks him for his services.

There's a revolutionary down Mexico way by the name of Mendez (Demian Bichir) who is out of his mind – literally – as he suffers from multiple personalities. One of them has a missile trained on The White House and is quite prepared to push the button. The President wants Machete to stop him/them. Machete agrees to take on the mission.

It's only when Machete is ankle deep in body parts that he realises that Mendez is only the tip of the iceberg, and that a far more serious foe is posing a far more serious threat to everyone.

Rodriguez set his stool out confidently with the first film; it took the promise of the faux trailer that featured in 2007's Grindhouse double-bill (Planet Terror directed by Rodriguez and Death Proof directed by Quentin Tarantino) and splattered it across the screen in a full-length feature. This sequel then, is pretty much more of the same.

The director may have wimped out a little with this one however, as it drops to a more friendly 15 certificate. This may have been done in just a general attempt to bring a younger and, let's face it, more lucrative crowd in, or it may have been done specifically for the appearance of Lady Gaga; she does, after all, have a huge fan base, and who wouldn't use that to their advantage to get more bums on seats. If that were the case, it is fairly disappointing that Rodriguez would water down his bloody vision for a more kiddy friendly feature, but hey, that's Hollywood commerce for you.

Despite the lower rating, there's still a whole lot to enjoy here. Like the fact that it's ridiculously absurd; the script goes all out to be over the top from every angle and succeeds. Rodrigruez is keen to keep the whole grindhouse mentality very much alive, which is ironic as it's about the only thing that isn't killed off by the film's end.

A minor niggle is the placement of a trailer for a possible third instalment in the series. It contains more than a hint where the story takes off into from within this episode, which kind of gives the game away as to its conclusion. And for that reason, it really should have been tacked onto the end as a nice treat in the credits.

Still, it shouldn't detract from the creative mayhem on screen, as well as some pleasing appearances from Mel Gibson, Cuba Gooding Jr, Amber Heard and Modern Family's Sofia Verga, as well as Machete regulars Antonio Banderas, Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba. And even Lady Gaga doesn't completely suck, although her presence, apart from the possible financial gains, is completely superfluous.

It's loud, explosive and silly fun from beginning to end, proving once again that when it comes to action, Machete is a slash above the rest.

4 booms


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Boomuk profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from London, UK

      You won't be disappointed either. There are also a number of Star Wars references too, so be sure to look out for them!

    • Boomuk profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from London, UK

      You won't be disappointed, that's for sure! And it alludes to a third instalment too!

    • GoForTheJuggler profile image

      Joshua Patrick 

      5 years ago from Texas

      I love Trejo, and Robert Rodriguez! Throw a bunch of beautiful women into the mix, and I am sold.

    • FatFreddysCat profile image

      Keith Abt 

      5 years ago from The Garden State

      I can't wait for this one. The first "Machete" was the most fun I'd had at a movie in a long time.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)