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Movies Tells Us Sometimes You Shouldn't Stay Friends With An Ex

Updated on April 15, 2013
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The movies teach us that sometimes it’s not always good to stay friends with an ex. Especially when the ex doesn’t move on and keeps waiting around for your current relationship to go bust so they can get another chance with you. In cases like that you should cut your ties with them sooner rather than later.

In Monkey Business, Barnaby has to put up with his wife’s ex, Hank, hanging around. The man is even their lawyer, but he’s really only his wife, Edwina’s lawyer, as proven the instant Edwina says she wants a divorce. When Edwina takes an experimental potion and while under the influence calls up good old Hank saying Barnaby is mistreating her, he can’t move on it fast enough without even trying to find out the details. He even calls up her mother who can’t stand Barnaby to help Edwina move out of the house and leave Barnaby. However, when Barnaby is under the influence of the same potion, he gets a little sweet revenge against Hank when he gets the neighborhood kids to tie him to a post and he scalps him. After all this Barnaby and Edwina need to cut all ties with Hank and find themselves a new attorney.

Ned has the same problem with his wife’s ex, Shelby in, The Absent-Minded Professor and Son Of Flubber. The man is ready to move in on Betsy at the first sign of problems between Ned and Betsy. When absent-minded Ned forgets to show up for his and Betsy’s wedding, Shelby rushes right in to take advantage of the situation. Even after Ned and Betsy finally do get married, Shelby is waiting in the wings like a buzzard for the first signs of trouble. Like Barnaby, Ned gets a little revenge against Shelby. He uses his flying Model T to terrorize Shelby as he’s driving home after making a move on Betsy. The fault lays with Betsy in this situation as she encourages Shelby by being open to him when things are on the rocks with Ned.

Of course, the worst of these men has to be the character Clifton Webb played in Laura. He would dig up dirt on any man Laura got involved with so she’d dump them. When there was finally a man his ploys didn’t work on, he decided if he couldn’t have Laura than no one could have her and tried to kill her. Lucky for her he shot the wrong woman, but the instant the man started digging up dirt on her boyfriends, she should have cut her dies with him.

And it’s just not men doing stuff like this. In Marnie, Lil is Mark Rutland’s sister-in-law. She’s living with Mark and his father in their home after her sister dies just waiting around for grieving Mark to turn his eye in her direction. Only his eye turns in the direction of Marnie, who he marries. Does that discourage Lil? Heck no, she starts trying to find ways to undermine the new marriage. Lil should have been asked to find a new place after her sister died. Continuing to live with her sister’s husband after she died was really inappropriate. And if not then, it should definitely had been suggested to Lil it was time for her to move out when Mark remarried and brought his new wife to live in the house.

These people have no scruples and refuse to give up when the object of their affection has clearly shown they’ve chosen another. They’re not full-out love stalkers like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. They’re not psychos, just spiders that wait on the sidelines spinning their webs, waiting for their chance for the object of their affection to fall into their web, instead of looking for someone who might really love them as they wish the object of their affection would love them.

They are, however, no different than people who know someone’s married and they still go after them. They have no respect for the person’s marriage as they try their best to get the object of their affections to cheat on their husband or wife. To them, married or single, you’re still available to them.

Also in Monkey Business, Marilyn Monroe plays one of those types of females. She knows Barnaby is married, yet she’s flashing her thigh at him and laying a kiss on him. Then she acts all sour when he wants to listen to a song that is his and his wife’s song. Unlucky for her, Barnaby loved his wife and only his wife. Even under the influence of his experimental potion he may have spent the afternoon having a good time with Marilyn, but he still loved his wife.

Seriously though, sometimes I think these people keep these devoted love slaves around because it’s a great ego boost. In the case of Monkey Business’s Barnaby and Edwina, he pointed out that whenever they have any trouble she was always throwing Hank into his face like a weapon. So she enjoyed keeping Hank around as a threat to hang over Barnaby’s head when ever she was put-out by him. However, when she was over her mad with Barnaby she just wanted Hank to go away.

Whatever ego boost it gives to keep these love slaves hanging around, it really isn’t fair to keep them hanging on a string. It isn’t fair to them, since by not making it clear that it’ll never be them it’s preventing them from finally facing the truth and moving on. And it’s definitely not fair to the one you really love as they have to put up with having these albatrosses around their necks to be with you.

I’m a great fan of having back-ups, but not when it comes to people or relationships. If someone sees an ex not moving on even though you have and still hanging on to you, be cruel to be kind and cut them off. It might just benefit them and you in the long run.


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