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My Favorite Recipe For Failure, or How to turn Lemonade into Lemons

Updated on September 27, 2012

Take two insanely talented parents and stir...

...and stir.

You know the type of family? Maybe it was yours. Mega-talented in a myriad of ways? Never made a dime, figuratively speaking. I do recall seeing dimes around the house occasionally. Or maybe those were on TV.

I promised myself that I would get a real job, so that I would never be broke having only talent to show for it, like my parents.

So I went into singing and songwriting.

Brilliant, right?

Oh I've had real jobs: candy counter manager at a theater, a few mall jobs, retail, moved up to receptionist, then Promotions Manager working at a comedy club. Now THAT was actually fun, and they let me sing in the music cabaret room a few times.

I was dabbling in show biz while "orthodoxishly-fundamentalatizing" in religion.

So basically anything I wanted to do in show business was vetoed by my church leaders.

Brilliant.

Self-sabotage.

We do it without even knowing we're doing it. Why?

We Live in Another Reality...

As artistic geniuses, do we feel we need to be paid in something even more valuable than money? Is money just not creative enough for us? For one thing - boring colors. A weird greenish tinge. What's up with that? It's not even pretty. Bored-looking austere faces all over it. Why line our beautifully leather-crafted empty wallets with that dirty stuff?

I mean, we are noble creatures, most likely aliens on this planet of "go, go, go," and "rush, rush, rush to success!!!"

Art. Everything about it is telling everyone around us to relax. Change the world. Get out of the rat race. It's esoteric and enlightening that we crave. We demand honesty and authenticity from ourselves and everyone around us.

Aliens to the planet, like I said.

A wise soul once told me, "People are stupid."

How do we, the alien geniuses of the world, use this knowledge to our benefit?

So We Call Upon Helpful Spirits...

Artist: Howard David Johnson
Artist: Howard David Johnson

Well???

Pray and Ask for Guidance...

Okay, so I'm still doing this and I don't want to make any of my spirit guides feel unappreciated, so I hesitate to say this doesn't seem to be working yet, but then again, I'm only 50, maybe it will kick in, in a few more years, if I keep at it...

What if I could have gotten into MUCH worse trouble than being a broke singer/songwriter/author, if they hadn't been around to help me in the unseen all this time?

Well??? (In a Samantha-from-"Bewitched"-sort-of-way).


Mortals, Magic and Me

I have no clue how to play the political games. I don't know how to impress people with the uncanny ability of posterior kissing that many so deftly exhibit. I missed that tutorial in person-hood class. I think I would have failed anyway.

I rely on the MAGIC of sincerity. Oops. A lost art, maybe?

It is the artist's way...blaze our own trails...lose our own horizons...

If it is the only thing I do of note in this life, I hereby decree to fail in my own original way. And I invite others to follow me to my deeply authentic doom.

How do ya like them lemons?

A Very Impressive List of things I've Failed at So Far:

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    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Heaven, you haven't failed my dear friend. It just may be you need to go conventional in addition to creative until your time is right. You are very talented; don't ever give up on what you have to offer!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      So you are 50 or so, hl. So what? You gotta lottta time yet to be famous. Grandma Moses wasn't appreciated as an artist until she was in her 90s. That's when she became a celebrity. That might work for you, too. :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Love this hub; the first picture is priceless, as is the message of the hub. I have raised "failure" to an art form, and I've never been happier. Why? Because I finally realized that failure is a negative term that is counter-productive. I don't fail....I try...and if it doesn't work out I try again....and each time it doesn't work out I have learned something.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Thank you BraveWarrior, DrBj, and BillyBuc! Great comments!

      BraveWarrior: What does the word "conventional" mean? ;) LOL

      Drbj: Life begins at 50! (See Molly Shannon for details). "IIII'M Fifty, and I like to strettttch and kick annnnd....stretch!"

      BillyBuc: As long as we can have a sense of humor, we haven't failed, eh? ;)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Conventional meaning 'corporate' (ugh!). I just left the corporate world after spending 38 years there. However, without it I don't know if I'd have the balls to venture out on my own at age 55!

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Got it, dear BraveWarrior! Just teasing you. :)

      Best of luck to you in the non-conventional world! I still believe in it. Some of my favorite failures are the most successful peeps in the world. If you are willing to authentically fail time and time again, you are more likely to get to the authentic success!

      I did the corporate world for long enough to know that it's not my thing, with or without balls. ;) LOL

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      It was hard for me to make it past the openining picture. I have been blessed to dring the unconventional to an oil compamy and the Freemasons.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      I LOVE that picture too, Mhatter-Man! But it really makes you feel that you are having the same experience as the little girl. ;)

      I agree with you that it is awesome to bring the unconventional to conventional places and people. I think we are all Creative Geniuses just waiting to break out of these "conventional" shells!!! When I was doing data entry for a Cupertino, CA company - I did as much "sit down comedy" as possible, to make the day go by faster for me and my co-workers. ;)

      The best of luck to you in all you do! Keep Shining in your unconventional genius way. ;)

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      I consider myself a success at "Vocational Dabbler." I can see how some would interpret that as failure, but it's been a good run for me. Next up, traveling laboratory technician starting Dec. 1. By the way, I think lemons are underrated.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Hi Cam! Congratulations on your soon-to-be-had traveling laboratory technician adventures!

      Our pasts are full of adventures, not to be thought of as failures, maybe? ;)

      Lemons are easier to juggle than lemonade - if that helps at all. LOL

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Ahhhhhh - I would rather experience beautiful failure than dismal guilt from never having tried!

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      That's a very good point! It is much worse to keep the song inside of you and never try. Thank you for your beautiful comment!!!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Well my friend it looks like we both had lemons and lemonade on our minds this week :) Awesome hub! Wishing you many glasses of lemonade! :)

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Thank you - I love yours too - it is fun in "Hubville" to see how many angles we can squeeze from a subject. LOL.

      Very fun to be in sync like that, yes! :) I've decided to bring some of my lemons to you, to learn how to rethink them a bit...(because I've heard that you make the BEST lemonade in town! ;)

    • profile image

      huckelbury 4 years ago

      Ah, I must take issue with your capsule articulating the things you have "failed at so far." Effort, especially artistic effort, is success. I'm not talking about the cruel, mundane realities of financial success. I'm talking about what comes out of the creative process. You've made something the world had never seen or heard. That, my correspondent, is success, and the resulting lemonade is sweet indeed. By the way, I loved the sign about artists paying bills. So true.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Thank you, dear Huckelbury! You are, of course, correct. I do hope people see the tongue-in-cheekedness meant by all of this. ;) Remember how I mentioned in the Keats piece that his first book, "Endymion," was considered a failure in its time? That is a wonderful lesson to me, and should be to all sincere and talented writers! Now he is quoted by the world, and has been for many years! His spirit lives on to see this.

      Your wisdom is vast! Once it is out there, the sky's the limit! Just get it out there. Love, fate, luck, perseverance and kind spirits will do the rest. I do believe in fairies...I do, I do, I do!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Heaven, I just love huckelbury's comment. So true! Let's hope we become read before we die. Although, believing in the soul as I do, I'll know if my words become eternal and worthy of having been spoken. Now or ever. Either way we win!

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Yes, Brave Shauna! It is indeed a WIN/WIN! There really is no failure. :)

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

      I loved your amusing style. This article is interesting take on life.

      PS: Thanks for reading and following me.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      You're welcome Vinaya! Thank you for your wonderful writing! Pinned and posted your flower health benefits one on FaceBook!

      Thank you for your comment here. :)

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Well failure certainly does not apply. The number one 'thing' writers here at Hubpages would like to do is publish a book. What is one of the things you have done, yes, publish a book. Check that off. And a CD do you know the going price in pride and accomplishment a CD with your name on it is? Well me neither actually, but high. So check that off. So in the imortal words of Micky to Rocky, "what do they got that we don't got? a manager"

      Believe me I am not making light (as I often do). I am saying throw away whatever measuring stick you are using. It is giving you false readings.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      I am truly grateful for the work itself. It nurtures my own soul, and that in itself is valuable. Thank you for your perspective, Mike.

      I guess it may just be a case of the whole world evolving into great singers/songwriters, novel writers and psychic-channels. No matter how I reinvent myself, there are a million others doing the same thing.

      I must invent something to do that everyone needs and that no one else is doing or will ever want to do! If it's out there - I'll find it!

      All of this other stuff was just an experiment in doing things that are already being done by others - many others - scratching and clawing to get to the top before anyone else. Do you ever just get tired of it all? I've never scratched and I've never clawed. I've just put my best efforts out there for someone to find. After decades of that, you start to realize that if may not be worth finding.

      Now - to find what nobody else would ever want to do in a million years and be a phenomenal success! ;)

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO until the end of June, 2017

      heavenleigh, I just stopped in for a second look at your hub and noticed your last comment. It made me laugh because what came to my mind was a 2006 Australian mockumentary film called Kenny. Maybe you saw it. Kenny definitely found something no one else wanted to do and he was good at it. Anyway, hope all is well. Just had to share that.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      That made me smile so big today, Cam! I'll look into that. I adore people that can think out of the box, burn the box, and create their own brand of air to breathe. Many things in life deserve to be mocked, changed, looked at in a whole new way...

      Kenny wasn't cleaning dog stuff up in people's yards for them, was he? I was considering that. And I could sing about it while doing it...and write about it later too...LOL! Much Love to you Cam!!!

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Mostly fortunes are made on the backs of others. You have to channel your energies into a field that can sustain you. Producing CD's is a good idea, then having them for sale can create a small stream of income, the same with eBooks. The well-to-do have learned one thing, and that is to have many small streams of income.

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Great advice! So finding many things within yourself that you love to do, can take you down the multiple paths which will sustain you. Something about irons in the fire comes to mind...eggs in one basket...cakes and eating them too...LOL Well, I was on to something until that last one... Thanks, Mike!

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      have you heard of Fiverr? maybe voice overs would pay for groceries

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Ahhh! No. Thanks for the tip - and for any other voices in the vicinity! Cool! I have a friend who does this, actually - radio spots and stuff. What a fun job! :)

    • SarahWhitman909 profile image

      SarahWhitman909 4 years ago

      Ok girl, we need to have a little talk. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!!!! You are so unique, kind, wonderful and you spread the best message of all to everyone you meet... LOVE. You have just shined a bright light into my life since I met you! My lord.... do you know how happy you've made me?

      You have accomplished so much in your life!!! I know this for a fact. But I'm here to tell you something.... focus on the POSITIVE side of things. Make a list of all of the achievements that you have made instead of a list of failure. Take my hand and we'll spread the message of love and conquer the bad :) We'll go on a little journey of success! How about that cup of tea? xD

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      That's some grrrrrreat tea! A lot of this is meant jokingly, but there was a bit of frustration in there too - to translate being a nice person into being a paid and respected author so that my family is provided for in this way, is my goal.

      Many here at HubPages understand. And I love the stories of how many, many HUGE successes had many "failed" attempts before reaching their goals!

      It's something we can all learn from.

      Thanks for the pep-talk too!!! Hey....wait a second.......you told me that you don't like tea! Hee hee But I DO! So it works! :)

    • SarahWhitman909 profile image

      SarahWhitman909 4 years ago

      Well sometimes I don't understand sarcasm hehehe But, you did spread a strong message here! It's so inspiring!

      You're so welcome for the pep-talk LOL Yes, I don't like tea.... hehehe But one of my friend's moms had this tea at their house and it doesn't even taste like tea! It tastes like pumpkin pie and it's not and hot like hot chocolate and it's just wonderful.... mmmmm I want some of that tea now hehehe xD

      Thank you for sharing this wonderful hub!

    • heavenleigh707 profile image
      Author

      Heaven L Burkes 4 years ago from The Invincible Heart of Neverland

      Thanks for re-reading with the sarcasm filter on, Sarah. Hee hee.

      I still appreciate the encouragement - and hope to encourage others!

      Now I'm going to be on the lookout for that pumpkin tea! :)

    • SarahWhitman909 profile image

      SarahWhitman909 4 years ago

      I have a picture posted on my profile on Facebook and it says "Best Tea Ever...." and then it has a picture of what it looks like. Oh my gosh it's sooooo good! Look at the comment that my friend Emma made hehehehe... I thought it was pretty funny.

      Yeah hehehe it just takes me a minute to sink in for me when it comes to sarcasm LOL That's why my friends love to be sarcastic for me because I get this blank look and then silence for like 5 minutes and then.... "Oh I get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" xD hehehehehehe!

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