ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

My Funny Phraseology

Updated on February 17, 2012

Would You Like A Part 2 To This Hub???

See results

I have been asked by a very good friend to post some of my saying on a hub, almost like a dictionary but with sayings rather than words.

As many of you know I live in Cumbria, which is a good place to here a lot of humorous sayings used, not always clean I will grant you although I wont post them on here. However I make up my own that many people have enjoyed and laughed hysterically at so I will write them on here to see if they have the same affect with you guys? Here goes................

On a topic with my friend I mentioned about some of my teachers as a child and how bad they were, and I said that Teachers are born and not made....(Then my phraseology came into effect)

"With mine they were not born they were quarried at shap quarry "- now shap quarry is a place about 25 miles south of Carlisle near the Village of Shap and the town of Penrith.

When I am talking about moving on, such as dealing with a problem and getting over it, I have a habit of writing this

"You just have to pull your knickers up and box on" meaning get on with it..

When I am doing something that maybe a little confusing to some one but the conclusion does work out well I usually say

"There is method, in my madness" - meaning I know what I am doing.

When some one is a little nasty towards me I have several descriptions I term when describing them, I usually start with "I felt about as welcomed as ......"

"Syphilis on a smear stick "

"As a bad head/ bad mood."

" As Cancer"

" As a love child, in a family reunion"

As you can see I have a lot on those although there is a lot more but I cant put them on here due to censors - shame really.

Now when I get mad at some one who has been nasty towards me I tend to say "that they...........

"Smell and have not got any friends"

"Bless her/him" - this is my favourite sarcastic word.....

"Bag Snob" - I usually use this one in the phrase "I bet he/she is a bag snob" meaning that they probably take their own shopping bags with them from the most expensive store such as Marks & Spencers or Harrods, etc and take them in to tesco or aldi so that they feel superior when carrying their shopping in those bags... Its surprising how many people do that.

Now when you have to queue in a shop I dont mind if the queue is a small one but when its beyond a certain length I may term these phrases.....

"Its beyond a joke"

" The queue is hysterical and I am nearly emotional, I am so upset I could jump off a dolls house. As I am frightened of heights."

"The mess up fairy has been again"

There are so many I could put here but am trying not to bore you, as no one likes queues and I hate it even more when people try to push in and say "I did not know there was a queue here" I mean the line stretches to the back of the shop yet this person could not see it, even with glasses on..... Bless her/him.

Now when I have a busy day I tend term this phrase which is a good one....

"I know how a Yo Yo feels." - I do say that one a lot,

I have tried to keep it to a few as I am just waiting to see your responses to these as if you like them I will make another hub with the hundreds of others that I say :)

Until then I hope that you enjoy this :)


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Thank you again donnaisabella could you imagine if they did publish that one, lots of people walking around being hysterically funny, oh what a happy world we would create lol :) But it would be a funny one :)

    • donnaisabella profile image

      Isabella Mukanda-Shamambo 

      6 years ago from Fort Myers

      You sure are expressive! Well, who knows someday we might have Calpol's Cumbrian Dictionary of witty English sayings! Good job Calpol.

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Hi PDXKG

      I am glad you enjoyed it, I use them all the time :)

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 

      6 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      ha ha. I felt about as welcomed as ......"

      "Syphilis on a smear stick

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Hi Poohgranma

      Its funny isn't it the responses and phrases we have stored and randomly come out with. My friend found mine hysterical and asked me to write it as a hub :)

      I dont think they will be your parting words, but your Lord may have a good sense of humour and find it hysterical if you do say those phrases, when you go to meet him. I doubt he will be upset with you :) xxxx

      I am glad you enjoyed this and I always look forward to seeing your comments. :)

      Many Thanks x

    • Poohgranma profile image


      6 years ago from On the edge

      My comments seem to change with whomever I'm in company with at the time. I do try not to imitate my teenaged granddaughter because;

      1) her forty year old mother talks like a wanna be rapper when she is with her (most embarrassing to all involved)

      2) some things just do not sound right coming from the mouth of a sixty year old pudgy woman

      and lastly, I tend to mix era's of slang and no one has a clue what I'm trying to say.

      I do have a couple of old responses that I pray are not my last words before going to meet my Lord, but fear they may be my parting words.

      I enjoyed this!

    • calpol25 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Thanks alian346 - I had to it as you found them hysterical and thought I should do it so really - We did it :)

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      You did it - well done!



    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)