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My Funny Phraseology

Updated on February 17, 2012

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I have been asked by a very good friend to post some of my saying on a hub, almost like a dictionary but with sayings rather than words.

As many of you know I live in Cumbria, which is a good place to here a lot of humorous sayings used, not always clean I will grant you although I wont post them on here. However I make up my own that many people have enjoyed and laughed hysterically at so I will write them on here to see if they have the same affect with you guys? Here goes................

On a topic with my friend I mentioned about some of my teachers as a child and how bad they were, and I said that Teachers are born and not made....(Then my phraseology came into effect)

"With mine they were not born they were quarried at shap quarry "- now shap quarry is a place about 25 miles south of Carlisle near the Village of Shap and the town of Penrith.

When I am talking about moving on, such as dealing with a problem and getting over it, I have a habit of writing this

"You just have to pull your knickers up and box on" meaning get on with it..

When I am doing something that maybe a little confusing to some one but the conclusion does work out well I usually say

"There is method, in my madness" - meaning I know what I am doing.

When some one is a little nasty towards me I have several descriptions I term when describing them, I usually start with "I felt about as welcomed as ......"

"Syphilis on a smear stick "

"As a bad head/ bad mood."

" As Cancer"

" As a love child, in a family reunion"

As you can see I have a lot on those although there is a lot more but I cant put them on here due to censors - shame really.

Now when I get mad at some one who has been nasty towards me I tend to say "that they...........

"Smell and have not got any friends"

"Bless her/him" - this is my favourite sarcastic word.....

"Bag Snob" - I usually use this one in the phrase "I bet he/she is a bag snob" meaning that they probably take their own shopping bags with them from the most expensive store such as Marks & Spencers or Harrods, etc and take them in to tesco or aldi so that they feel superior when carrying their shopping in those bags... Its surprising how many people do that.

Now when you have to queue in a shop I dont mind if the queue is a small one but when its beyond a certain length I may term these phrases.....

"Its beyond a joke"

" The queue is hysterical and I am nearly emotional, I am so upset I could jump off a dolls house. As I am frightened of heights."

"The mess up fairy has been again"

There are so many I could put here but am trying not to bore you, as no one likes queues and I hate it even more when people try to push in and say "I did not know there was a queue here" I mean the line stretches to the back of the shop yet this person could not see it, even with glasses on..... Bless her/him.

Now when I have a busy day I tend term this phrase which is a good one....

"I know how a Yo Yo feels." - I do say that one a lot,

I have tried to keep it to a few as I am just waiting to see your responses to these as if you like them I will make another hub with the hundreds of others that I say :)

Until then I hope that you enjoy this :)


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    • calpol25 profile image

      Callum 5 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Thank you again donnaisabella could you imagine if they did publish that one, lots of people walking around being hysterically funny, oh what a happy world we would create lol :) But it would be a funny one :)

    • donnaisabella profile image

      Donaisabella 5 years ago from Fort Myers

      You sure are expressive! Well, who knows someday we might have Calpol's Cumbrian Dictionary of witty English sayings! Good job Calpol.

    • calpol25 profile image

      Callum 5 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Hi PDXKG

      I am glad you enjoyed it, I use them all the time :)

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      ha ha. I felt about as welcomed as ......"

      "Syphilis on a smear stick

    • calpol25 profile image

      Callum 5 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Hi Poohgranma

      Its funny isn't it the responses and phrases we have stored and randomly come out with. My friend found mine hysterical and asked me to write it as a hub :)

      I dont think they will be your parting words, but your Lord may have a good sense of humour and find it hysterical if you do say those phrases, when you go to meet him. I doubt he will be upset with you :) xxxx

      I am glad you enjoyed this and I always look forward to seeing your comments. :)

      Many Thanks x

    • Poohgranma profile image

      Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

      My comments seem to change with whomever I'm in company with at the time. I do try not to imitate my teenaged granddaughter because;

      1) her forty year old mother talks like a wanna be rapper when she is with her (most embarrassing to all involved)

      2) some things just do not sound right coming from the mouth of a sixty year old pudgy woman

      and lastly, I tend to mix era's of slang and no one has a clue what I'm trying to say.

      I do have a couple of old responses that I pray are not my last words before going to meet my Lord, but fear they may be my parting words.

      I enjoyed this!

    • calpol25 profile image

      Callum 5 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

      Thanks alian346 - I had to it as you found them hysterical and thought I should do it so really - We did it :)

    • profile image

      alian346 5 years ago

      You did it - well done!